Farage is so thin skinned. If he ever ended up in power, the LTA would probably have to give him a Wimbledon Peace Prize before the tournament could commence. #r4today

Stop worrying about what YA books to let your kids read and let them sort it out with V C Andrews and cocaine era Stephen King as God intended

If that cunt Nigel Farage wasn't in parliament for the energy debate why the fuck did #BBCnews seek him out in another part of the country for his flacid opinion????? If he can't be arsed to attend parliament his opinion should not be courted. WANKERS!

Post a non-religious picture you think of as holy

Cat keeps deliberately knocking over my signed picture of Dick Van Dyke. The man is a living legend. Even for a cat, this is a shocking level of disrespect.

If whoever has hidden my mum’s Mother’s Day card could unhide it, and actually deliver it this side of Easter, I’d be very grateful. #r4today

Michael Gove. Again. Have they got him on speed dial? We really don’t his thoughts on anything. Ever. Prick. #r4today

Might have a little nightcap. Anyone else?

PSB. Still fab live #totp

Love Comes Quickly is absolutely Pet Shop Boys best song. #totp

Every now and then, my cat likes to pretend she’s in the video for Total Eclipse of the Heart. #totp

Cheers m’dears

OH and eldest have some serious explaining to do, getting post like this. On the bright side. I’m always looking for suitable material to line the cat’s litter tray. (To be fair, they were both appalled to receive this.)

Trump is that pain in the arse that nobody invites to the pub. He turns up anyway, starts an unnecessary fight with some nasty bastards, then hides while everyone who vaguely knows him feels obligated to step in and take a hiding. #r4today

Me and the eldest are taking the youngest to an offer holder day. Bit weird being related to the back seat. Proper bit of role reversal.

This was me the week of this episode. I’m sat watching it tonight with the baby who is now pushing 27. #totp

Given in my notice. Bit gutted because I have loved this job for years. My role has changed beyond all recognition though, and it has become a stress that I don’t need. After a traumatic few years, I’ve decided to take a few months off being a grown up, and spend the summer doing lovely things.

It’s not technically drinking alone if the cat’s sitting with me is it?

Oh fuck off Jenrick. Haven’t you got children’s murals to be painting over? #bbclaurak

Is Laura auditioning for a move to GB News? That interview with Yvette Cooper was unbelievably bad, even for her. #bbclaurak.

Everything is shit, but it’s Friday, so there is that. I’m off to see the queen of menopausal women that is Bridget Christie. Have a good one all x

Is it me, or is the world burning because of entitled men engaging in one big pissing contest?

Happy world book day to those who celebrate. Hope it warms up a bit later! #WorldBookDay

First pub garden of the year. Hurrah! ☀️

It's not Roosevelt we're dealing with. Hell, it's not even Nixon.

What could possibly make this morning seem even worse? Michael Gove. That’s what. Slippery fucker. I’m out. #r4today

He really is bored of peace isn’t he? #r4today

Away to Bristol City? On a Friday night? In February? Totally worth it.

Well, that’s been a fucking week. Weekend starts here lads!

You’re interviewing this David Bull are you? Prick #r4today

The accusation of sectarianism, is quite something from a party that encourages flags on every lamppost. #r4today

Been for my annual haircut this afternoon. My hair managed just over an hour of being sleek, shiny, and beautiful. Bastard rain.

I really, really, REALLY don’t want to go to work, in case anyone fancies bunking off and hanging round outside the shops.

These people are poison. They will unleash racist thugs on the streets of this country and call it security. They will subjugate us to the US and call it patriotism. They must be stopped. There is no more important task in politics.

Friday! Cheers

Make no mistake, if the royal family could have continued to cover this up, they would have done so. This support for the police investigation is an attempt to protect their brand, not an attack of conscience. #r4today

oh ok then

Nicholas Witchell right now

Reform aren’t the opposition. They shouldn’t have a shadow cabinet. Stop platforming them. #r4today

On a train to Scotland. Already eaten my packed lunch.

Trying to pack for a weekend away. I am not planning on taking a stowaway.

Oasis vs Blur? Pulp wiped the floor with both of them. #r4today

THOU SHALT NOT PROTECT PEDOS!!! WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SENDER’S NAME REDACTED?!?

I am the world’s shittest gardener. Everything I attempt to grow dies within 6 months, yet there is a tiny cluster of daffodils in my garden that haven’t read the script. I planted them over 20 years ago. Seeing them always gives me a bit of hope.

If the royal family had given a shiny shit about victims of sexual abuse, they would have done something about Andrew a lot fucking sooner. #r4today

OH’s buggered off to Scotland for the rugby. Means I’ve got the M&S valentines meal all to myself. Nice.

Gotta feel sorry for Chris Mason. People starting mean petitions to replace him when he's just trying to do his job as a right-wing gossip columnist spouting utterly opinionated bollox for a paltry £270 k pa

Just going to leave this here

Don’t think I’ll go that way then

Not entirely convinced that this will end well. Although whether it’s the cat, or my phone that ends up in the bath is anyone’s guess. Living life on the edge.