Not gonna lie, life is about to go tits up again. In the meantime, the eldest has had her engagement party this afternoon. As they say, let’s face the music, and dance. See you on the other side x

Wow, what a final. Cruel that either had to lose. The future looks bright for Wu Yize, but gutted for Shaun Murphy. Fabulous player and very gracious in defeat. I hope he gets another crack at it #snooker

Everyone forgets the true meaning of the May Day bank holiday, when Jesus and John the Baptist went with their wives to the big Ikea in Galilee and later had a takeaway and cans while watching the snooker final on the telly

Love watching the snooker. It reminds me of staying with my Grandma when I was little. My house used to be a bit shouty and angry, and a few days of snooker, jigsaws and marzipan with her was a wonderful oasis of calm.

Drinking red wine with fish. Sue me

Home alone until Monday. Hurrah. I’ve made a to do list that mainly consists of cranking the music up very loud, and eating crisps in bed. Bring it on.

Not a word I use lightly, but what an absolute cunt Nigel Farage is. When are our msm going to start challenging him properly? We are sleepwalking towards very dark times #r4today

The ICE agent who fatally shot Renee Nicole Good has been quietly relocated to a different state and allowed to resume work.

When voting in the local elections, please judge Reform on our record so far: -over 75 councillors sacked, resigned or defected -every council raised council tax after promising to cut it -Staffordshire sacked two leaders for racism -Nottinghamshire spent £70k putting flags up

An industrial strength sports bra has been purchased, a gym membership has been signed, and I have put a proper shift in. Hooray for me. Glass of wine in the garden now I think 🍷☀️

I’m watching snooker and doing a jigsaw. I’m even contemplating a cup of tea. This rock and roll lifestyle will be the death of me.

It’s the cat’s first birthday apparently. The rest of us are up north, but the youngest has made her a cat food cake ❤️ She also seems to be letting her on the kitchen sides while we’re not there!

Dear oh dear. Oh well. We’ve had a few in the pub now, it doesn’t seem so bad.

OMFG I had to go and check that this ACTUALLY happened. Since when does the BBC ever do chyrons with a political party's branding, rather than their own? Not to mention this is during a pre-election campaign purdah. (h/t @iainsol.bsky.social)

Today I learned, as I curled into a rotted husk. She was 43. Harold was 47.

On Saturday, we are taking to the streets to demand a national strategy for eating disorders. People are dying. We refuse to look away. Are you with us? you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/li...

No mention whatsoever from #r4today just how dangerous it is to be gay in many parts of the world. Just another report demonising asylum seekers. www.fairplanet.org/story/death-...

What the fuck does Vance know about matters of morality? #r4today

Status update. Still on holiday. Happy Friday ☀️🍷

Is Melania Trump using the Epstein files to distract from Iran going to cause some sort of paradox? #r4today

Anyone who contributed to this event - the politicians and journalists who normalised him or submitted to his narratives, around the world - should hang their fucking heads in shame. They've put us in the most dangerous geopolitical situation for a generation and left a people at risk of genocide.

Happy long weekend. Very long for me to be fair. I’m on my holidays. 🍷

Given the direction our nation appears to be heading, marginalised groups need safeguarding more than ever. #r4today

I talk myself out of applying for jobs because I’m convinced I’m rubbish at everything. The opposite of Kemi Badenoch really. Oh, to have an ounce of her misplaced self confidence. #bbclaurak

He’s taken me out for a slap up dinner again. Happy Friday

Last day at work after 16 years here? Completed it mate. It’s been great fun, but know when to leave the party and all that. I also now have a lovely drawing of me eating chocolate!

Farage is so thin skinned. If he ever ended up in power, the LTA would probably have to give him a Wimbledon Peace Prize before the tournament could commence. #r4today

Stop worrying about what YA books to let your kids read and let them sort it out with V C Andrews and cocaine era Stephen King as God intended

If that cunt Nigel Farage wasn't in parliament for the energy debate why the fuck did #BBCnews seek him out in another part of the country for his flacid opinion????? If he can't be arsed to attend parliament his opinion should not be courted. WANKERS!

Post a non-religious picture you think of as holy

Cat keeps deliberately knocking over my signed picture of Dick Van Dyke. The man is a living legend. Even for a cat, this is a shocking level of disrespect.

If whoever has hidden my mum’s Mother’s Day card could unhide it, and actually deliver it this side of Easter, I’d be very grateful. #r4today

Michael Gove. Again. Have they got him on speed dial? We really don’t his thoughts on anything. Ever. Prick. #r4today

Might have a little nightcap. Anyone else?

PSB. Still fab live #totp

Love Comes Quickly is absolutely Pet Shop Boys best song. #totp

Every now and then, my cat likes to pretend she’s in the video for Total Eclipse of the Heart. #totp

Cheers m’dears

OH and eldest have some serious explaining to do, getting post like this. On the bright side. I’m always looking for suitable material to line the cat’s litter tray. (To be fair, they were both appalled to receive this.)

Trump is that pain in the arse that nobody invites to the pub. He turns up anyway, starts an unnecessary fight with some nasty bastards, then hides while everyone who vaguely knows him feels obligated to step in and take a hiding. #r4today

Me and the eldest are taking the youngest to an offer holder day. Bit weird being related to the back seat. Proper bit of role reversal.

This was me the week of this episode. I’m sat watching it tonight with the baby who is now pushing 27. #totp

Given in my notice. Bit gutted because I have loved this job for years. My role has changed beyond all recognition though, and it has become a stress that I don’t need. After a traumatic few years, I’ve decided to take a few months off being a grown up, and spend the summer doing lovely things.

It’s not technically drinking alone if the cat’s sitting with me is it?

Oh fuck off Jenrick. Haven’t you got children’s murals to be painting over? #bbclaurak

Is Laura auditioning for a move to GB News? That interview with Yvette Cooper was unbelievably bad, even for her. #bbclaurak.

Everything is shit, but it’s Friday, so there is that. I’m off to see the queen of menopausal women that is Bridget Christie. Have a good one all x

Is it me, or is the world burning because of entitled men engaging in one big pissing contest?

Happy world book day to those who celebrate. Hope it warms up a bit later! #WorldBookDay

First pub garden of the year. Hurrah! ☀️