Donald Trump: The only way I can be safe is if you build me a billion dollar ballroom bedecked in golden vomit where the east wing used to be. It’s The only way. Also Donald Trump: Imma hold a gladiator fight in an open air arena on the front lawn. Trust me, it’ll be fine. #FalseFlagIncoming

If it’s good enough for all of the other kindergarteners…

Today I am reminded once again of the old adage, “Proper prior planning prevents piss-poor performance”. Apropos of nothing.

They just don’t make assassins like they used to, do they?

He’s LITERALLY taking our money.

We don’t need an autopsy to determine why we lost in 2024. Democrats who felt Biden didn’t support Israel enough voted Republican, and democrats who felt he supported it too much just stayed home. Cause of death was Israel. You’re welcome.

If your self interest is large enough, trust in you approaches zero. I did the math, it checks out.

This $1.8 billion slush fund is a gift for insurrectionists past and a promise to insurrectionists future.

Why is Donald Trump going through all this trouble to pay reparations to antifa?

This patriot would like to know when he can expect his reparations check. #FuckThemAll

If @merriam-webster.com makes this a word I’m switching languages.

Reparations for slavery? No. Reparations for Gazans? No. Reparations for Iranian schoolchildren. Also, no. Reparations for white supremacist insurrectionist cop-beaters convicted of all manner crimes by juries of their peers? Welcome to Trump’s America.

"Neither former President Barack Obama nor Joe Biden traded stocks or bonds while in office..." www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

In 1934, Adolf Hitler awarded around 6,000 Nazi insurrectionists who took part in his failed Beer Hall Putsch, or coup, of a decade earlier with a solid silver medal called the blood order - the party’s highest honor at the time. This is the same, but so much worse. And we’re all paying for it.

I don’t want to hear another fucking word about corruption and fraud when the president is stealing $1.8 billion of our dollars to pay off his pardoned insurrectionists. Not. Another. Fucking. Word.

BREAKING: It's against the law for Trump to sue himself--& then settle for a huge sum. The court has the power to put a stop to these shenanigans & should do so. @mattplatkin.bsky.social & we @democracydefendersaction.org are proud to rep over 90 members of Congress in filing a brief fighting back

Don’t worry, folks. He’s got it all under control. #WeAreSoFucked

Make-a-Wi$h Patel would like to know how you want your burger done.

Pete for President.

Susan Collins has reported raising $603,105 this cycle from AIPAC. She raised $343,711 from Mainers. Explains a lot.

An essential part of stopping Trump is blocking his appointments to the judiciary. To do that we need the senate. It’s time to support blue senate candidates across the country. #LetsFuckingGo

You shouldn’t have to fight and kill in an unjust war to have decent healthcare in this country.

Ohio’s nurses show up for us every single day, they deserve a Senator who shows up for them. I’ll always fight to secure the resources they need to ensure safe working conditions and the highest quality care. This week, and every week, I’m proud to stand with Ohio’s nurses.

Donald Trump out there writing campaign ads for the democrats…

He’s not sleeping. That’s called a “power blink”, and you’re just not alpha enough to know what that is. #SleepyDonaldTrump

BREAKING NEWS!

The Supreme Court: We don’t have racism any more! The South: (Immediatey does racism)

BREAKING NEWS: RUDY GIULIANI ADMITTED TO FOUR SEASONS GENERAL HOSPITAL.

You know there’s an affordability crisis when affordable airlines are going out of business because they can’t afford fuel.

BREAKING NEWS: Billionaire who has clearly never flown spirit airlines blames someone other than spirit airlines for spirit airline’s demise.

He’s insane.

Wait until Trump sees my new truck.

Their seashell story is going to backfire.

Someone needs to be the grown-up in the room that tells Donald he can’t have his ballroom until he finishes his war first.

This. Every last word of this. #IReallyDontCareDoYou

BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP UNVEILS BRAND NEW STATE OF THE ART MOBILE BALLROOM FOR OUTDOOR EVENTS.

So, is he going to take the ballroom with him to UFC fights or how does that work?

If this ballroom is so crucial for national security, wouldn’t it our nation be even more secure if the president just didn’t go to balls? #FuckTheBallroom

Some day soon, I hope, it will happen. And what a day it will be.

I prefer the term #Bribeateria.

The president, his entire line of succession, and 2500 assembled guests almost fell victim to the same gun violence that our school children face every day, and the best they can do is say “the president needs his bribeateria”? They have completely lost the plot. #FuckTheBallroom

I’m old enough to remember all the times Donald Trump joked about Paul Pelosi being attacked by a man with a hammer.

There’s no fucking way he would have let them use his ballroom for the WHCD. No fucking way.

If Trump didn’t want someone violently storming a building while he was in it, he shouldn’t have pardoned 1600 people for doing it as soon as he took office.

If the people around him had even an ounce of a sense of humor, they’d all quietly leave while the cameras kept rolling. #SleepyDonald

Here on earth, we call Trump’s way “the wrong way”. And damn them all to hell for making me stand up for math.

If you’re a soldier, and the same people who have no problem ordering you to your death draw the line at ordering you to get a vaccine, wake the fuck up. You’ve become a prop.

I ain’t reading all that I’m happy for u tho Or sad that happened

Shh. Listen closely. Do you hear it? That’s the sound of MAGA’s tiny little brains exploding.

BREAKING NEWS: Nine circles of hell demolished to begin renovations in preparation for Donald Trump’s arrival.