Wow

So how’s this place goin?

Finally, I can do the hot thing from the movies where you kiss and inhale the smoke from someone else’s cigarette as the exhale

So what’s happened here since I’ve been gone?

Me on my way to eat mozzarella from the fridge

Sorry I keep forgetting to post over here but I am alive

They didn’t have an Amtrak hoodie in my size

Your day might be going well but are you in a train station listening to Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven Is a Place on Earth”

To the tune of 4′33″:

I am NOT just here because the other app is busted

I hate having a cold, what do you mean I’m incredibly thirsty yet have too much saliva?

I wasn’t feeling good, but now I got a beer 😎

Having to explain to my parents what a “podcast live show” is, this is so embarrassing

Pro tip: if you go to sleep all your problems go away for a while

Well it wasn’t going to be a private group I guess

Gonna go home eat culvers and jack offf

Umm. You seem to be missing the obvious option of “fuck”

Do you need to be confirmed to be elected pope? Asking for a friend

My phone thinks I live in Japan so this is how I found out

Kachow

girl the conclave

*the algorithm doesn’t like me* I tell myself as I post another mid skeet

I thought they closed that place down

Late night convos on these hit different

When students see me out at a bar

You’re all fake train nerds

cartoon ass dog

one of my favorite recent onion headlines

Look at this cool illustration of the opening of the Mersey railway tunnel

Forgot my headphones

You miss 100% of the backshots you don’t take

Me: So what about the times where there were only one set of footprints in the sand? Jesus: oh yeah, I can fly and just kinda float there on account of being god and all

If you don’t recognize this don’t talk to me about the median wage 🙄

Friends, Romans, Mutuals,

Syd Barrett lookin ass TikToker

Honestly that’s so true

Nobody: The humble Jair Bolsonaro:

Still thinking about this god damn M&S yumnut

I’ve got no treats in

Looking at the small screen has become quite unpleasant as of late

Last week of my twenties

Sometimes I think about the time I accidentally gave a guy the wrong number and wonder how different my life could be

I may be returning to Chicago next month, depending on travel expenses returning on time

[to Damocles] that’s a cool sword bro, who did your interior design?

A five minute cap is discrimination against the gastrointestinally challenged, at least give people ten if they sound like they’re fighting for their life in there

I tried telling tumblr this but they wouldn’t listen

Was very lucky to time being in Tokyo for peak Sakura bloom

So mad this was sold out