this is literally how it feels everyday now

they are introducing a kiss cam at the dollar tree

adam friedland i need to dry hump you

i have got to get my yaoi on

i am frankenstein and i am my monster

i am a few bats short of a belfry

rap tap tapping at my chamber door…. bro it’s a studio the whole THING is my chamber

lowkey the flesh is never satisfied -_-

snowstorm again this weekend this might be the winter that finally takes me

guys does anyone else see that comically large anvil hovering over my head

there are two types of people people and hall monitors

local Tommy demanding i remain in bed this lovely friday

can i get a Smile Meal with a side of Happy ^_^

“your anxiety is lying to you” my anxiety is a close personal friend and would not dothat.

control alt debeast

“Thou shalt not covet a more positive canthal tilt — thou shall accept that it is over for you, and thou shall be skullmogged as such.” Claviculations 3:11

but time makes you bolder even children get older and i’m gettin older too

at starbucks ordering the humpacchino from the semen menu

will i ever be uncnough

i have a phd in sludge

nancy reagan THROATUS

Baby I’m Your Little Chudling StepSon Baby

lymphatic chode drainage

make hillary wear a chastity belt #lockherup

i can’t believe i didn’t brush my teeth at night until this year. so nice to sleep in in the morning even a few more minutes

why jigsaw kinda got that arch

side a of Live Through This vinyl ending on “someday you will ache like i ache”……

are they still “delusions of grandeur” if i’m really that awesomesauce ? #JustSayink

bjork and hawk tuah girl agree to debate the idea of asexuality

Hung Sheldon

i am the summoner of nothing in particular

nice self. let me guess, deprecating?

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the summer i turned chopped as fuck

who dat who dat ? I G G Y

everything feels like trying to get out of someone else’s car in the dark

wonder what medieval times gas stations were like

brendan yuri from panic! at the lesbo

porn parody called game of throats

it’s snot living if it’s snot with you

hi i’m detective Areola Juggs

some of you texting the plug looking for K but can’t spell gorjuss…. bitch you need to ask for PRE-K

that picture on the wall you’re scared of looks just like you

i’m in a clituationship with the pussy

oh yea ? could a man with an ancient curse upon him do this ?

i am the stripper and i am the fool delusional in his assertion that she loves him

i’m the personality hire at brazzers

why does texting a crush make me feel like i’m going to be put on the sex offender registry

cat keeps trying to eat vinyl record as it spins