Whenever Kaiser Permanente is in the news, my brain starts going: [Depeche Mode voice] Your own Permanent Caesar

Darkly funny that the right-wing militia guys were basically right about everything except for which side of the conflict with the feds they'd be on.

I think I speak for all of us when I ask: is the baby okay?

Post a game you remember playing that nobody else remembers.

I'm almost done with the No Man's Sky party base I've been building for when you-know-what finally happens. Just need to figure out the ideal distance for the fireworks launching platform.

Absolum is really great. It's like those old D&D beat-em-up arcade games, but with some Hades-esque roguelike elements and an emphasis on defensive moves. So it had a lot of goodwill to burn with its secret final boss that automatically kills you when it spawns in.

Pictured: me at the beginning of the pandemic, listening to this song and Tim Heidecker's Fear of Death a whole bunch

Having to pee in the Target bathroom is my personal shorthand for planning your day badly. The only people who use that bathroom are the employees and my seven year old.

I never get tired of these videos.

The Internet has so broken my brain that I briefly assumed that Yaktrax was some kind of device for playing Yakety Sax when people fall down on the ice.

I stared at the cars on the bridge for a solid minute before realizing that this joke has been going over my head for the majority of my life.

Some extra context for non-Minnesotans: Craig and Omar are about as far apart ideologically as two members of the DFL can get.

Do they have some kind of asshole factory down in Chaska?

In capitalist America, landlord Maoists you.

is that ark of the covenant still sittin around in a warehouse cause i have an idea

How dare these genocidal fascists renege on their promises to bring grocery prices down.

This is my blood

Nazi murderers GTFO of MN

Having to go to an automated nonconsensual pornography website in order to see official communications from your senators, journalists, and captains of industry sounds like a plot point from an early 90s cyberpunk movie starring either Christopher Lambert or Olivier Gruner.

My memory of January 6th seems weirdly positive in hindsight. For a brief moment it felt like these assholes might finally face a consequence.

Managed to make it out to theaters to see Bi Gan's Resurrection. Would have blown film school era me's brain out of the back of my head.

Absolute unit of a deer lounging in the backyard today.

Lots of liberal-leftist and leftist-leftist infighting on the TL tonight. Meanwhile, the modern GOP has a coalition of open racists and guys who sincerely believe that racism doesn't exist proverbially holding hands and singing kumbaya together.

it’s going to be weird going back to work and people talking like everything is normal. like in a final fantasy game when someone’s summoned a meteor from hell to destroy the planet and the villagers still only talk about the big chocobo pageant coming up

The largest, most expensive, and most technologically advanced military in the history of civilization didn't botch a kidnapping (besides killing a few innocent bystanders) and we're all at least a teensy bit surprised surprised, because that is how little confidence we have in our evil overlords.

This site appears to be under intense assault by pornbots.

Maybe if I keep looking at the news it will suddenly get better.

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

Any pedophile mass murderer can become King of International Law merely by gaining the support of 8 mega rich guys and a plurality of pop country radio listeners.

We're going to gladly accept all the civil war refugees our actions are going to create, right? Right?

ICE vs ice at 44th and Hiawatha earlier today.

I'm very thankful that "Dad, I can't find any period underwear" is not my sleeper agent activation phrase.

Yeah, come on people. Haven't we had like three cycles of "what book would you get sworn in on?" viral prompts by now?

Introduce yourself with what almost killed you. Hello, I am an improperly loaded crossbow.

The obvious play for our evil overlords here is to try and force us all onto subscription based cloud gaming platforms, except those always run into the problem of US broadband being so shitty due to a different subset of evil overlords.

If there are any fraudsters still at large, they need to start buying lots and lots TrumpCoins, stat.

Snow emergency. Whole family is sick. Extended family that we're supposed to be visiting are also sick. I finally got so tired of listening to Minecraft YouTubers that I made the kids watch Hundreds of Beavers instead.

I was super impressed that Spider-Man 2 did not need to download a patch after installing from disc. Significantly less impressed when the game soft locked on me at the second story mission when an enemy couldn't keep up with the moving battlefield.

Wait. You're telling me 'Hims' are boner pills, but 'Hers' are weight loss pills?

Me comí de lleno la fascinanción internetera por los espacios liminales, las blackrooms y toda esa mandanga. De todos los sitios que se hicieron recurrentes los que siguen invadiendo mi pensamiento son las Dementia Villages, residencias para ancianos que sufren declive cognitivo.

Have a very Dungeon Synth Christmas.

Deadly Premonition then. Deadly Premonition now. Deadly Premonition forever.

I love seeing the hive mind's logistics in Pluribus. I wonder if everyone is getting their vague fatigue disorders properly diagnosed now that they share a mind with every doctor on Earth.

Notice how much better this is than all the AI videos trolling Mr. Paul.

Okay, but what if everyone who beats Cookie's Bustle dies seven days later? These guys could be saving us all.

I wouldn't even know this movie was out if it wasn't for Bluesky

Now that the penny is discontinued, do we have to call the evil It clown Nicklewise?

My ball phased out of reality on a Xenotilt bonus table and the Call Attendant button isn't working. I'd be more sad about losing this run if I hadn't just had my 99x multiplier drop to 12x upon losing ball 1.