She one on my piece til I…..

I would like to be whipped around and thrown. Perhaps snapped as well. Cool awesome thanks

Validate me validate me validate me

Sometimes I have to trial run my posts by sending them to my partner to make sure they land, before I send them into the unknown

Yall ever hear about the Bigender horse? Its pronouns are he/her/he/her Sometimes I wonder if sentience is actually a curse

Relationship tip: send them cute messages to let them know you’re thinking about them

She Maki on my Zenin til I massacre

Oh I’m hot sometimes

Part of getting your partner into MTG is having to tell her to not spend her whole savings on new decks

Me: *reading BL and Yuri* “ya I know some Korean” *Only knows honorifics semi exclusive to lovers*

Got passed up on a promotion. was told I was the best candidate. And how I would have been the best choice. But the only reason I didn’t get it was because I don’t have a car yet.

Gonna open a watch store called sucking tick and clock

Girl speaking in mumbles and grunts can speak perfectly clear when I offer to make her a coffee lmao

Having a girlfriend rocks. What do u mean I can sip tequila, and watch one piece while she cooks dinner and tells me I worked hard all day so I should relax

I have my limits with Capitalism.

You ever see your partner and just wanna start biting off pieces of them.

The nefarious uber driver with his malicious schemes

Why are cis people around me

Why do people bring children to drag shows. Not in a republican way but in a “I don’t like children” way

It’s fine he gave shitty head anyway

And tattoos. Who wanna tattoo me like in the good ol days. Cigarette ash dropping on the piece, bottle of vodka in my hand. All while I lay on your couch in the garage

I should get new piercings

Alexa. How do I become 007

Apparently not responding for a day means I don’t respect him and never have. Hot. Fun. Work. I’m doing SO good right now

Can you counterspell feelings? What about bounce them back to owners hand? Exile? Put on the bottom of the library in a random order?

“there should be an equal distribution of effort in a relationship” *doesn’t plan any dates, never reaches out first, cancels plans to be with their other partner* Seems equal to me

I deserve to be treated like a priority. Not an afterthought.

When life gets hard you just gotta hit em with a

Like. Sukuna and Gojo are better in English. Yuji, Mahito, Todo, and Toji are all better in Japanese

She jujutsu on my kaisen til I…. Well. I dare not say

Watching JJK and switching to the Japanese dub for certain parts bc the English VAs dont hit the same

Going from crying to laughing uncontrollably in t minus 5 seconds really be the trans experience

Damn what if… we held hands… is that ok?

ADHD girlfriend who doesn’t have enough stimulation so she mirrors the microwave

She Rika on my yuta til I itadori

Chris in a pickle from @malberrybush.bsky.social

I love my people so much

She rrrufff on my Awoof til I bark

I love when the first thing that happens when I get out of bed is my knees and hips both sublexing. This chronic pain shit is tight. (Unlike my joints apparently)

No spoons.

Heavy are the hips that carry this ass

She Dunkin in my Do til I go nuts

This also takes the cake for most painful tattoo I have. My 6 hr rib piece didn’t hurt anywhere near as bad.

Pt1 of my new tattoooooo. Next session is finishing the centipede outline and maybe adding the spider lilies if we have time

Rrrrufff Awoof rrrufff Awoof -Shakespeare

This is specifically about JJK. But also had to do it with DanDaDan, and Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime.

Nobody tells you that being in a relationship means when you show her your favorite show you have to be selective on what questions you answer as to avoid spoiling it.

Every hot bitch I know has been through a divorce