I run for physical & mental health. Mid-run I thought "life is a series of compromises until you get to an age where you can't go to the toilet - at that point people stop listening to you because no one trusts a person who shits themselves" So maybe I just run for my physical health actually

My new show NOW IS THE TIME OF MONSTERS is touring this autumn. Tickets are onsale now at josielong.com and you should come. It’s going to be really good:

Ahoy! Shiver me timbers, it’s the exciting conclusion to Madrigal in Margate: Oatal Recall! Expect sea life, violence and a whole lot of corporate sponsorship! Listen to it right now, ya hear, on the Crowley Time podcast feed or at crowleytime.com! Also features more glorious synth from Tommy Music.

A shed show Christmas special? youtube.com/shorts/0YZqY...

Wait, the milk proteins are included? This is going to be the best beef party ever

Every Videogame From 1954. Happy Holidays!

SIMPLY HAVING A

There's been a ho ho homicide

Do you Fold?* *Origami pick up line

Remember the privileged feeling you got as a child when a book had intricate hand-drawn art? “For… me?” Ladybird. The busyness of Usborne, Richard Scarry, What A Mess, Tintin, Where’s Wally. Giving AI generated content to a kid, conversely, is like letting them be babysat by your hoover.

Sometimes i don't press my timer so clients get graphic design work for free. If you too would like to employ a full moron, send me a pigeon

There's a school near us with a sign outside that reads... "Kings academy. Aiming for excellence. Ofsted result 'good'."

I'm still making thease. no one is asking me to, and yet youtu.be/lWBXKYt1JaI?...

only my bluesky babes get the 16x9 trailer drop [kiss_emoji] WOKEFLAKE IS OUT NOW: youtu.be/w53pfg9SUjg #comedyspecial #standup #standupspecial

Sometimes I ask my dog Blot if she would like to help me with the washing up and give her something to lick. She's not really helping - If anything it's an unsanitary hindrance, but it's a good game to play even if she has no idea she's playing it. Basically what I'm saying is I'm depressed.

Hi tho. Episode 6 of a shed show - bit sad this one. Sorry about that. youtu.be/UKxIXS_DEFU?...

Bingo wings

The funniest thing about this whole clip was the team behind the show then kind of did a pastiche of it I think for comic relief? It was very odd.

@tomgolding.bsky.social what the hell do you think you are playing at?

Just reposting praise. Unforgivable

I’m doing a new subscription podcast about comedy, with further thoughts about funny stuff, along the lines of the book. There’s a little preview now available on the usual public pod-platforms… pod.link/1779990694

Oh yeah? Name twenty-five of their albums.

I was also known for this - which is weird.

This is what I was known for over on the hellsite. My son now drives an HGV and drinks pints. No he doesn't - at least as far as i know.

Smell Gibson

I made this show, well- I'm in the middle of making it. Each ep is 3 mins long so it's like 5 bigish pills. No it's not. Gah. Look. It took me hours, you are going to love it. Here are all of them so far youtube.com/playlist?lis...

Repostin' praise, like the good old days

It's really good to at least hope that social media could be fun again. It does make you realise you were hanging on, waiting for it. Everyone's been dimmed for years. Nice to see "tweets" again.