“…and I have 4 words for Donald Trump…” A: “suck my dick, faggot?” “…turn the volume up!” Me: “either of those would have went hard at Papi Juice”

“He/him Lesbian Theirstory Archives. Is this something?” -A, seeing my Lesbian Herstory Archives tee shirt

Life hack: if you pass out getting your blood drawn you get a lil nap AND a treat!

Hey, good news, they can be stopped, they will be stopped, and you're going to help stop them. (This post is not about voting or calling your congressperson.)

One thing I'll say about DC not only canceling Red Hood, but recalling the first issue and refunding stores for buying it, is that you can still get Neil Gaiman's work through them. They still work with Otto Schmidt. Eddie Berganza worked there for years AFTER the formation of a policy that no women

Get you a girl who can do both (crying and weeping)

There’s apparently a party in Montreal where attendees 35+ get a free drink and I think Bushwick venues should take note.

The cuck chaise lounge

[smelling my armpit] I’m a proud member of the rank and vile

“What if you clicked on it and it was just text that said ‘deez nuts’?” -A

Hot pride take: I hope Elon makes ketamine less popular with the gays, I’m tired of hearing about it. Oh you “disassociated for hours,” sounds fun, PTSD is free

Oh no the choice of venue for this 😩

[with great gravity, aware that, when I speak, my words, like Black Bolt, will cause widespread devastation, but not of physical structures but of an entire burgeoning economic sector which will never recover] ...oh yeah? more like fartificial intelligence

The dumb tourist shit I do in PR is pet the stray cats, not ecocide the native frogs. I don’t wanna open Reddit but I hope that post is getting ratio’d to hell.

Whenever someone says “criminal element” it sounds cool as hell ngl

¡Yikes!

Ok cuánto cuesta la guagua en #SanJuan? He visto 3 precios en 3 websites lol

The opposite of a flex

@garbageoracle.bsky.social -coded

When I was in elementary school a kid told me that Puerto Ricans carry around switchblades (West Side Story? Idk) so when I went home I asked my mom if this was true. She looked thoughtful and said “I guess you don’t HAVE to.” Happy Mother’s Day 💁‍♀️🔪

My neighbor caught me practicing wearing heels like a child. I’m embarrassed but also slightly taller so it evens out?

Free them all. Abolish ice and the dhs

pope francis and now the new pope heavily disliking vance is undeniable proof that jd vance existence goes against god himself

How down bad do you have to be to ask an acupuncturist for a “happy ending”?!

“Nancy Mace” would be a good punk name, it’s a shame she sucks

More like Crust Fund am i right? Ba dum tss

Possibly relevant to some interests on here:

If you’re trans and wanna get real sleepy, my friend is doing a sound bath in a couple weeks

This looks a shitpost but I know it’s not

Some teen boy on the train asked me if I’ve “ever heard of Gilette” and I confidently said no because I didn’t hear what he asked. But now that I processed it: same answer and points for the roast, but talk louder!

I wondered how Trump could not understand photo manipulation but then I remembered all the AI slop bird videos my family members send me

Happy May Day, y’all

Gang, ya gotta stop telling people “you don’t even feel the pins” re: acupuncture. Sometimes you do! It makes my job very hard!

I like this new emoji: 🫩 It reminds me of my acupuncturist’s face when I explain that my thumb pain is from playing too many videogames, not work.

Sure, buddy

Hey man, if I have to walk through an industrial area and under a bridge to get to your club I should be allowed to keep my pepper spray

I woke up with a start this morning remembering the time I forgot the name of the muscles in the hand and collectively referred to them to a patient as “hand meats.”

Has anyone ever succeeded in getting money back from the MTA?

I’m really curious if the new bar/Greek restaurant I walked past - “Uncutt”- is getting the clientele they expected.

I read Janice Raymond in college and was suspicious of the premise given how men could just like,come onto my (women’s) college campus and cause harm, no subterfuge needed. Also started dating a trans girl and was so mad she wouldn’t have been able to attend even though ppl thought she was a student

It’s very funny how multiple ppl sent this to me yesterday, incl my own brother 😅 But for real more women = cool as hell and most of the gender fascists I’ve interacted with the last few years have been straight women, it’s so strange. Like you wanna talk about “men in women’s spaces” babe…

Me when I finish another @hangsawoman.bsky.social book

Scotland should do another independence referendum tbh

Wowowow

no lies detected. #civilrights

Please stop trying to help, you’re making it worse!

*Patient sits down in intake room* “I’m giving sick girl” Me- “I’m sorry to hear that. Can you elaborate on what that means for you?” “No”

Opinion | I like fascism. I also like my 401(k). I have never felt more politically homeless.