These people thought Jack Nicholson was supposed to be the hero of the movie

it is very funny that the soccer people made an award that's just a bunch of hands desperately reaching to grab a ball

When you get to the pages of The Red Book written by Samwise

As it turns out, 20 other people on the same carriage of the 6th train recently reported a delusional man in a blue puffy jacket claiming he was bothered by a woman in a white top and dark pants, who no one else could see

Much like that time you and your cheating ex "agreed to part ways" after you changed the locks and put all their crap in a box on the lawn while they were at work

Beginning to think the unrelenting stubbornness of this most recent wave of depression might, in fact, NOT be something wrong with my neurons

This thread has unlocked a level of Mr Burnsian chuckling more malicious than anything I thought I had in me

I'm a civilian, and I'm even an off-duty civilian right now, and I still just fixed my posture

is it to much to ask that our Congresspeople be able to understand what happens to the stuff in a boat, or other container, when it is flipped upside down

"We blew up their boat and instead of just DYING, like decent upstanding Americans would have done, they started SWIMMING. TOWARD LAND. Can you believe it???"

I've never slept with a "firm handshake" guy but I have shaken hands with them, and if the handshaking reflects their sexing then no, thank you.

"And I see you have no family history of ADHD, yet you want both kids evaluated?" Imma stop you right there, doc, and tell you a tale of my grandmother, a dustpan, and the freezer.

I'm 44 and I don't use TikTok, so I don't think the problem is "kids today" and I don't think the problem is TikTok. Maybe the problem is the bombs and the guns and the locking out of food and doctors?

BRB going to tell my kid they are NOT just "perfect for annoying mom"

be the bitch doing something yourself that you want to see in the world

the things i want to say violate the terms of service here.

Besides the insinuation that psychology is some kind of non-serious field where you can just do/say whatever you want (not remotely true) ... *** the essay was badly written ON PURPOSE. By a plant who wanted to set up the path to getting a trans person fired. *** Keep your eye on the ball.

The Christmas tree in its storage bag is her most favoritest thing in the whole world, and she considers it an absolute violation of feline rights that it's only accessible for 20 minutes twice a year.

Hey, kids. If you're buying a wrench (for entirely legal purposes, of course), spend more than $4.

Tis the season for stealing all the blankets

Really hate it when my factors fexcector. The lab cleanup takes hours.

The problem with ICE is not that it's targeting people who aren't criminals. The problem with ICE is that it's an unaccountable secret deportation police. It cannot be reformed under a better president. It can be made less terrible, but the instrument of repression remains for the next tyrant.

I live in a tourism area that is, unfortunately, about 2 hours from Disney World (etc) and WOOOOO do visitors expect headpats for dodging the mouse to come here instead.

Shout out to the guy checking out at Walmart at 8am, with 2 toddlers in his cart, buying - complete list - 1 turkey roasting pan and the biggest bundle of toilet paper they sell. You are your wife's hero, sir 🫡

They're both good, but can't be ranked- in completely different classes. If you want one of them, there's no way the other will ever fit the bill.

Well 1st, why isn't this headed with a photo OF mac & cheese? 2nd, NOTHING is a "must". Make what you and your family want to eat. Spend time together. Have some love, not just a chore.

yes, hello, I would like to place an order for everyone’s funniest stories of holiday food-related family grudges / drama / chaotic incidents / lore I feel like we need this

I love this SO MUCH

1. No, he cannot. Not that it will stop him from trying. 2. Whatever your photographer was going for by including a rosary in this "science focused" profile, it was a bad choice.

Do I want to know what an "abstract nude" is? At what level of abstraction is it no longer even a portrait?

I read SO MANY books and finished SO MUCH cross-stitching while I was nominally at work to "prepare taxes," but was mostly just being paid to sit around and wait for anyone to come into the office.

Oh I'm seeing a whole host of cross-cultural folklores appearing before me

This was featured on a kids' news program as the "class discussion of the week" piece. They got 7th graders sending in ideas like "what about making real friends" and "who would want to hang out with you if you're recording everything they say". The kids are not on board for the AI revolution!

I think I hate every single person involved in this entire sordid tale.

.... should we tell them about mix TAPES?

The search for the One True Billionaire to save us from all the other billionaires continues.

"ICE is grabbing people from the streets who aren't even undocumented or don't have criminal records at all" babe i don't think there is a group of people ICE should be grabbing people off the streets in the first place

Ok, I looked at the policies. Can I criticize now? But take a seat and grab some water because this is going to take a while.

The body language from MBS while Trump is speaking is off-the-charts guilty. He's either an autocrat who had someone murdered, or an 8th grader who toootally didn't change the name and turn in his older cousin's term paper from 3 years ago.

Moms and Grandmas across the nation sigh heavily, and return to making sure everyone *else* has a meaningful gift. "All I want for Christmas is to see the smiles on all your faces" they chant in unison, as they tuck a single Hershey's bar into their own stockings.

I don't support the death penalty when the government does it, and I don't support the death penalty when vigilantes do it.

It’s a tricky space I guess, but a media outlet should always err on the side of not doing harm to victims, I think.

I really hope journalists are being held to an EXTREMELY high level of care when reaching out to women "presumed to be" referenced in emails. If they didn't already know about it, this can be a traumatizing thing to learn - they deserve the full consideration & support such a discovery requires.

Hey, yall realize you can have thoughts about recent documents without doing a cannonball into the deep end of the homophobia pool, right? Because the timeline is ... YIKES.

The state is disappearing people out of jobs, courthouses, hospitals, daycares, and parking lots.

Now that I have seen this, there will forever be something missing in my life.

Lolita stuff, gross, etc But the other takeaway here is that apparently Larry Summers' wife is the only one in the whole cabal who can put together a coherent sentence?

On top of everything side, this man was abusing the High Importance flag into utter meaninglessness

As all this disgusting Epstein shit starts surfacing more and more, I hope we don't lose sight of the fact that apparently every major media outlet knew everything and instead spent their time money and energy attacking the trans community.

We are going to reach the heat death of the universe before "Clinton + Ken Starr" becomes an irrelevant news search parameter