optimus ⠀

( content sigh that old people do when they get to sit down in their favorite chair ) nowww, there ain't nothang better than receivin' a sparkfelt message uh utter kindness an sincerity since bein' gone fer so long, yerrup, ah love bein' loved!!! this world is so wholesome! ah am one lucky duck ! ⠀

AH DUN KNOW A RUBEN, BUT AH KNOW AN IRONHIDE :] ! . . AH'M IRONHIDE :] ! .... ..... IRONHIDE :] . ⠀

..... it's tha young feller... ..... ....... boy howdy, tha's jus'.. ..... dandy ( 😑. ) ( ..turning down the audial dial (hearing aid) on the side of his helmet to Off ) ⠀

he saw his reflection didn’t he ?

YA'LL, AH JUS' LOOKED THROUGH A SPOOKY WINDER ( * window * ) AN' SAW ONE OF THA UGLIEST CRITTERS AH HAVE EVAH BEEN SUBJECTED TA BEAR FORCED WITNESS ( ☹️!!! ) IT HAD THIS UGLY RED ROOSTER PLUME KINDA... CREST-LIKE.. ON THA TOP OF ITS HEAD. BRIGHT BLUE OPTICS.. KINDA LOOKS ANGRY !! RUSTY! SCARS ! ⠀

kang grimmy is a rough an' tumble, rootin' tootin' reptileee ( 😎 ) ! ⠀

( sighs sits criss-cross applesauce and waits his turn )

ah do my berst ( 😠 ) ⠀

( .... blinks ) ( glances away ) ( grievance..... ...... grie-... vance.. ..... gri-... gri.. ... grill .... ?? .. grill 😁😁🇺🇲🎆🎇🧨!!! ) ah can sear a mean ol' steak !! ( yayy!!! they're gonna grill together !! ) ⠀

ah, also, think it stoo-pid fer an auto-bot ta court a decepto-crook .. ( 😑😒♨️😾..! ) ⠀

REASONS WHY AMERICA( 🇺🇲🏈🇺🇲🏈🦅!!!) IS THE WORST COUNTRY TO LIVE IN. A THREAD ‼️‼️🧵 ⠀

( mixing up some sugar water for the humming birds! humming && dancing to his country song's tune while he prepares the little birdies' meals ! 🎶 ) fancy like applebees.... on a - ( shaking his hips ) ( not too hard !! or they'll lock ! ) ⠀

⠀ ( posing like mr. beast at the camera . ) OLD pEpAw havin' a HeaRT attack SOON ! NAHT CLICKbAT ! SubSRIBE n' HIT THA BELL T' NEVA MISS A VIdEO -- ⠀

⠀ ironhide probably doesn't even remember doing this but i do. i remember. red alert knows. red alert never forget. ( 🐘.) i hate the fire chief that yelled at ironhide. do not yell at ironhide. i will run you back & forth with my Lamborghini wheels until you are nothing more than a smudge. ⠀

I did not — [ optics narrowing at the screen , how does a bot even FUNCTION like this ???? ] I did not misspell ’sunday’ , my designation is SUNDER . . . . do you require assistance ? [ gawd he almost feels bad for such an old timer . ]

@tetrahex-ripper.bsky.social you misspelled Sunday ( 😹😹) !!! ⠀

AHHHHH!!!! HE'S GOH A GUHHHHN!!!!!!!! ...lucky...😒 ( TACKLING THE NEAREST unlucky MECHA GET DOWN MX PRESIDENT 🗣🦅‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🏈🌎 ) ⠀

d'aaaaw! thanks, lil' fellah!!! ah appreciate tha suppoooort ( 😊😊❤️❤️ ) ⠀

TURDAY'S ;poundsign key.; /FIT ( 🤠🤠🤠🤠😊😊😊🤠✨️✨️) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ FIT is :poundsign key.: SLANG fer-- errrr... uhhh. .. .... ah.. .... ah dun know ( ☹️). ... ...... AH GOT THA SHIT AWNNN THOUGH , AIN'T AH ( 😻 ) ! ⠀

why ah oughtaaaa.... 😾💢.. ⠀

YEAH, DISINTEGRATE, OLD MAN !!!!!!!

GET YOUR SLOW AFT OUT OF THE WAY RUST BUCKET !!! 💢💢

( old lady getting help to cross the street by the girl scout trying to get a merit badge ) well howdy there, lil Missy! ah thank you kindly! such a well mannered mini ! ( tipping his spartan's crest like a cowboy hat, big southern smile ) ( still oblivious to the chaos around him ) ⠀

ah remember back on cybertron ... -😊 ( oblivious ) ⠀

( STANDING && SALUTING TWILIGHT SPARKLE . ) SERGEANT SPARKLE 🗣💯‼️‼️ ⠀

does the rust bucket even know he’s alive in the first place ?

please pull the plug now

life or death for the rustbucket, one like equals instant spark failure

ALL PONIES ARE GOOD PONIES!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP COMPARIN' GREATNESS TA GREATNESS !!!!!!!! LEAVE PINKIE PIE ALONE ‼️‼️ ( GrrrRRRRrRrRR 😡😡🤬🤬 ) ⠀

you got yer job cause you can Lie . ah got mine cause ah can't . don't go comparin' apples ta oranges, jazz . my internal clock is clickin' jus' fine . optimus wouldn't have me on tha team if it weren't . ⠀

optimus an' ah would never argue like tha. poundsign Forged Dif :little face wearing black visor !!!: ( 🗣‼️‼️‼️💯) ⠀

ain't no big thang, pardna! love spendin' time with mah team (😸)! questionnaires keep tha processor squirrel spinnin! - heck YEAH - heck YEAH - heck YEAH - heck YEAH - heck no ( 😁 ) ! ⠀

IRONHIDE flexing on me, that's how you know i've fallen

tha'll be me, alrighty !!!! :cardiovascular system: ⠀

ironhide.

iron hide⠀ ⠀

the war . ⠀

⠀

guys i think we need to pull the plug on this one

( nodding his ( rooster ) spartan helm enthusiastically !!!! ) yes!!!!!!!! they are so funny looking sometimes! but so majestic !! like a cybertronian transforming! gaze upon their brilliance once more !! : IMG_4346.jpeg ⠀

fucking idiot grandpa

⠀ TAke a look, y'all: IMG_4346.jpeg

⠀ ah remember back on cybertron ☝️👴..

⠀ even Jesus would be happy for Optimus Prime

⠀ even Jesus would not forgive blurr .

( the cowbot plants his spurred boots into the dirt below, preparing for the little mech's leap. watching with a giant goofy grin as cliffjumper mutilated the poor mech. pure joy radiating off his old rusted features ) MY BOY!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL BOY!!! THATTA GIRL!! HOWDY, CLIFFY! HOW ARE YA !!!! ⠀

⠀ CLIFFYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! CLIFF!!! CLIFFORD!!!!! C'MERE YOUUUU!!! COME GIVE YER OL' IRONHIDERS A HUG, YOU BIG BOT!!!! AH MISSED YOU SO MUUUUUUCHHHH!!!!!!!! TOO MANY DINGDANG DECEPTICONS . . ! ⠀