Oz never did give nothing to the tin man That he didn't, didn't already have

if you're trans and you're thinking about committing a mass shooting and you go through with it, failing to consider the impact that has on every other trans person in the country you are a genuinely horrible person and you deserve benzo withdrawal for eternity in the afterlife

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Me: I'm giving up using Microsoft Office until Easter. Him: How do you think that's gonna go? Me: It will be Excel Lent.

did some strength training yesterday turns out I am capable of doing 3 sets of 8 pushups it also turns out an old neck injury COMPLAINS when I do this

If it isn’t tangible then how come I tanged it

This is how I sext

First date idea: come and pick me up at the airport

Has the FCC ever heard of the Striessand effect

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Update: these were fucking phenomenal and I am seriously considering opening a food truck

I have invented coconut curry nachos

how to start working out when you can't handle the prospect of facing how weak you are?

It's true!

This is actually how I sext

How my sext finds you:

For the purposes of this CAPTCHA, please consider the wheels on the bus unconnected from the concept of wheels, round and round, or bus. Please choose all the buses in this single picture of a bus. NO NOT THE WHEELS, YOU ROBOT.

As based as that is, yeah maybe we should have an HHS secretary who at the very least respects germs if not afraid of them

the two types of vehicle are cars and trucks, with every vehicle being a subclass of one of those two. a jeep is a truck. a motorcycle is obviously a car. a boat is a truck. an airplane is a car and a helicopter is a truck. trucks are cars, interestingly enough, and cars are a specific type of chair

They’re just out there setting records at everything.

🫠

Suburban wine moms will really be like "you believe in voting? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, firebombing a concentration camp" and then very effectively firebomb a concentration camp

Frankie makes it to work and the day doesn't improve. everybodylovesmonday.thecomicseries.com/comics/21/ #comicoop #webcomic #comic

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Showing up to work on time is *hard* -- no, scratch that, showing up to work *at all* is difficult.

Friday, but at what cost?

there must be something about growing up AMAB that gives people The Audacity

mononucleosis

Did you see scientists crossed DNA of a cheetah with a crab? It went sideways real fast.

If you set a meeting on my calendar and make the reminder for an hour before the meeting....I will miss the meeting. I will live 300 lives in that hour.

Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well

6, not bad

same

!! thanks @barackobama.bsky.social

This is how I sext:

why change clock when could change working hours????

thanks Obama :)

everythings transgender game if u game and u trangender

same

Insurance sorted, taxes done, ok now what

So I happen to be in one of the only situations where Obamacare still makes sense, it seems. So that sorts the health insurance thing, I guess.

call me "woke" or whatever but I think the Superbowl should have less football and more dancing latinas

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sexts i receive

as you watch all of the rah-rah pageantry of the Super Bowl it’s astounding to remember that MAGA is so weird and offputting that they’ve apparently given football to the libs in the national divorce

I don't even hope the Seahawks win, I just hope the Patriots lose My shitty ex was a Patriots fan

When that woman was crying because she couldn't hug every cat... i felt that in my soul

sorry I have been absent recently, morale has been terrible and the news makes it worse this unemployment thing is NOT sustainable my partner is trying to get me a job delivering car parts. i have an interview on the 18th for part time volunteer immigration work

this is how I sext

If I die, I want my remains to be scattered at the US Capitol. Do not cremate me.