Zero stars 😂

"I was lied to, I was lied to" Keir Starmer complaining about other peoples dishonesty.

Lookalike: Starmer and Trump / Lord Charles and Ray Alan From the new Private Eye, out now.

Lots of Tims ragin' on th'internet about the cancellation of tonights match. Lads, you can still come up if you want, and we'll stick the Scottish Cup in the entrance foyer for you to look at!

Please be aware Aberdeen FC contacted the SPFL earlier this afternoon to arrange a pitch inspection ahead of this evening’s game. A referee will inspect the pitch at 4.00pm and we will update supporters as soon as a decision has been made. Full information // bit.ly/4qAtlAB

Who'd have thought* that Starmer would be so utterly fucking useless as PM? * Almost everyone, that's who.

The Room Next Door - Donald Trump and the New Guy Only on YouTube.

You'd like to think that all the Starmer loyalists that rallied around their man last week against Andy Burnham, might be regretting it now. The calls for Starmers resignation ought to be deafening and impossible to ignore, but the lack of self-awareness within the Labour Party is off the charts.

Starmer is toast. The sooner the PLP realise the fact, and ditch the useless twat, the better for all of us. But his replacement? *shudder*

They’re all involved with this perv.

John Virgo gone? It was only a couple of weeks since he was commentating on the Masters snooker final. Very sad news. #WheresTheCueBallGoing ?

We've been here so many times before. Scrap the bloody thing and put something fit for purpose in its place. This is 2026 not 1582.

The Lords is a massive problem. How can a supposedly advanced country still be maintaing a veritably feudal upper house where you can't get rid of members. It's absolutely insane.

The House of Lords puts cronies, donors and disgraced politicians like Lord Mandelson in positions of immense power over our country for life. Unelected and unaccountable. Abolish this relic.

Trying to assess the transfer window for Aberdeen - Out: Dorrington*, Karlsson*, Aouchiche*, Besuijen*, Yengi*, Sokler, Polvara & Clarkson (+ Ambrose?) In: Lyall Cameron*, Liam Morrison*, Toyosi Olusanya*, Dennis Geiger*, Per Kristian Bratveit & Afeez Aremu (+ free agent?) * Loans, either in or out

From an unforgettable debut goal to Scottish Cup hero 🔴 Thank you for everything LC 🔟 🎯

Good luck to the loon, hopefully he can get his career back on track.

Jetting in on Deadline Day. Willkommen, Dennis Geiger 🇩🇪

NEW: The PNG Courier's overseas correspondent on Reform's limescale problem. Check my Substack for more. open.substack.com/pub/mrhenrym...

These dumb fuckers won't be satisfied until they've torched this whole shitty island.

OMG 😂🐷😂🐷😂🐷 #Melania

Hopefully Afeez (Heid) Aremu can bring energy to our midfield, but rather than being "everywhere", I'll happily settle for him being in the right place at the right time! And best not go in two-footed into tackles 😬

This should never, under any circumstances, ever, be considered ‘normal’.

🫤

8 goals for £10 - that's value for money! Frame and Keskinen were terrific on the left, Bilalovic equally good on the other side and Nisbet reaped the rewards. Cameron reminds me of Billy Bremner (one for the kids there), but holy shit, we need to sort ourselves out defending set pieces, and fast! 🙈

I'm trying to feel positive about this signing, but it just feels like a massive waste of everyone's time. 🫤 Another short term 'fix', of questionable quality, who will get game time ahead of actual signed Dons players. I'd rather recall some of our youth players out on loan. Prove me wrong Toyosi.

Thank f**k that's over. Hopefully this will open the door for Bilalovic (an ACTUAL signed Dons player) to get more game time. Aouchiche next please.

It may well be what his written remarks refer to, but that's not what the senile old lunatic said, as she well knows. #TrumpIsNotWell

Remember the Soviet joke about a man who always goes to look at the papers but never buys one. The news agent asks him what he's looking for and he says, "An obituary" and the news agent points out that they're always in the back section. "This one won't be".

Worst of Worst

Same here. #BandsFC

Muscular? That soppy prick? Do me a favour.

And so say all of us...✊🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Apparently Hatey-Katie Hopkins will be "bringing her unapologetic humour to the stage for a night of laugh-out-loud stand-up comedy" to the Thainstone Exchange, Inverurie on the 25th July. Personally I'd rather remove my own spleen with a blunt butter-knife than attend that shite.

Step forward General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett, VC, KCB, DSO. Your country needs you.

It's as if the graphic designer has thought "this will piss off the fascist pricks", and UKIP have taken one look and said "that's fabulous, we'll have it! But would it be too much to change Right to Reich?"

NEWS! New Tesla feature to automatically create explicit images of pedestrians it passes on the street newsthump.com/2026/01/13/n...

I would hope that @afc.co.uk, as a club that says it puts family values at it's core, will be seriously reconsidering it's continued presence on X, where producing non-consensual sexualised images of women and girls is monetised. Other social media platforms are available, use them instead.

Clearly has his heart set on the Aberdeen job.

She seems nice.

Hey arsehole, the indigenous Americans would like a word...

Trump Vs The World. www.youtube.com/watch?v=296-...

I swear, some of the names being thrown around by the sports media are just nuts. Csaba László? Michael Skubala? I'm hoping that Lutz's final shortlist is a bit more inspiring.

4-5-1 / 4-4-2?

What??? That's some sort of North Korea level shit going on in Trump’s USA.

You can't blame Spurs for taking him away, he was loaned here for 1st team & European football experience, and got very little of either, while other loanees had their names on the teamsheet regardless.