#UsesForMyTimeMachine To go back to Spain 1984 and say yes to the hot girl that was all over me and wanted to go back to my room instead of being a dumb ass and saying no I’m going to the pub.

#ABelovedChildhoodMemory Wendy

One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle… Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.

#InLovingMemoryOf Wendy

Cheers to 57 🎂

#SingThatSauce Shiny HP People

I won't be drawn #InAWorldWithoutArt

#InAWorldWithoutArt Earth would be eh.

#AuthorsInSongsOrMovies Wodehouse.

The first episode of Shelley was originally broadcast on this day in 1979.

#AccordingToMyTheory we can travel forward through time but only at the rate of 1 second per second.

#AccordingToMyTheory hot air doesn’t rise because if it did mountains wouldn’t have snow at the top.

Post your favorite Doctor Who, wrong answers only.

This is lovely 🥹

#OnTheLongestDay look for the shortest Knight.

Why do people say that God may be a woman but I’ve never heard them say that the Devil could be female?

#MyCatsAutobiography would be flying off the shelf.

#MyTreehouseWouldBe made of the tree that I was going to put it in.

#CreateASpringPoem I caught my winky In a Slinky It felt quite good I guess I’m kinky

#IDoWhatWithMyMom I dust her off now and then.

Sex is an awful lot of work.

Anyone else going to regret waking up in the morning?

Use your knowledge and years of technical expertise to perform critical mechanical and electrical adjustments #ProblemSolved

‪ #ItsNotWhatYouSayBut what use hey?

Extended sexual frustration is an underrated pleasure.

Muting annoying people in real life never works.

In Hell everyday is Monday.

Biscotti is not a substitute for chocolate cake for dessert.

#MakeAMovieOrSongIrish Paddy O’Lanterns

#NewSayingsForFortuneCookies This is a poor excuse for dessert.

#NewSayingsForFortuneCookies A Tesla owner has no gas bill but also no friends.

#NewSayingsForFortuneCookies Dammit Jim I'm a Doctor not a baker.

Do you still own anything from your teenage years? I have a bottle of aftershave from 1987.

#GMTcouldAlsoStandFor Gee Mom, Thanks

We used to get a tax refund every year but the last five or six years we've ended up owing tax and every year the amount we owe goes up. Our financial situation hasn't changed but each year we owe more and more. The stick they beat you with just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

#The90sIn3Words Not long left.

I'm currently listening to Under The Dome by Stephen King. The similarity between the book and modern day America is staggering.

#SignsYouHaveATerribleNeighbor When I put a glass up to the wall I can hear them listening to me.

To coldly blow

The only good thing about winter is when my furnace starts it sounds like the USS Enterprise accelerating.

this ogden nash poem made me start cackling so hard

The cow is of the bovine ilk One end is moo the other milk

#SomedayEverythingWill be owned by 1% of the people, just like now.

#WickedSatisfaction My request for wicked satisfaction has been denied.

Whats a good You Tube genre to watch. I’ve recently been watching hornet and wasp exterminators, people shooting vermin on farms, cleaning blocked drains and sewers (very satisfying) and illegally parked cars getting towed. Any other suggestions?

#HappenedUnderAFullMoon I had my clothes stolen on a Spanish beach.

I must say the Gillian Anderson GIFS on BlueSky are much hotter than the G.A. GIFS on Twitter.

Post your favorite #DoctorWho. Wrong answers only.

#HappenedUnderAFullMoon Me. I got bitten by a wolf. Her. Where? Me. No, just a regular wolf.

#MathMovies The Count of Monte Cristo