Me, suddenly realizing I have to start posting a lot of stuff in a hurry because I took like a whole week off social media and everyone just figured I died

All my life, every time I pick up a baby it starts screaming and squalling. I always figured it was because babies can totally sense when a carnivorous egg-eating scavenger is close by.

Daily reminder that collective action, pooled resources and complete rejection of the status quo are the only things that matter anymore.

They should make a social platform exclusively for AI chuds. Call it "Glass House" and its core feature is that it automatically and instantly blocks anyone who disagrees with you.

America's civilian population reacts to $6 gas prices ruining all their tightly budgeted summer vacation plans on top of having no healthcare, political representation or viable career paths

"One of my friends is like a beer expert, you know, he's like 'We gotta go to a brewery,' I'm like 'Why can't we just go to a bar?' He's like 'It's fun, you can see how it's made!' I don't care how it's made. Look, I like porn, but I don't need to go to a broken home." - Mark Normand

Weasel-speak: "Don't be silly, we're not laying people off and replacing them with bug-infested beta versions of AI workers! We're simply spending so much on fixing AI bugs that we can't afford to keep our human workers, lol don't you get the difference?" *That's* how stupid he thinks you are.

Oh stfu about "86 47 means REMOVE, not moider!" Your daily reminder that us way-too-online types who eat raw liver with hotXXX tabasco sauce first thing in the AM are all messaging each other with stuff like "Actually, I'm more like '187 47' baby, what is this Brady Bunch bullshit?" Grow a couple.

It'll be such a time-saver when people can walk into a store and the salespeople know not to even ask them if they need help because of their -100 credit score

Even corporate AI can't lie about the fact that capitalism is basically slavery, go ahead, ask it

The shitlibs are going to fall for it again. Not paywalled. medium.com/p/tucker-car...

Behold the shitlib punditocracy, preparing to welcome verified transphobic misogynist Tucker Carlson into the cool kids club. All he'll change after he replaces Trump in the hearts of the heartless MAGA faithful will be firing any ICE stormtroopers who can't do 10 pull-ups.

Friggin hate this joke country

The problem with Facebook is that you'll post a meme like the one below, highlighting some slightly dated statistic, and you can always count on some jerkoff who's feeling rebellious to barge in and reply with something massively douchey like "Welllll, that's not eNtiReLy aaaaaaaacuraaaate"

I have no respect whatsoever for anyone who tries to sound smart by adding superfluous syllables to words that are perfectly suited to their given purpose on their own. It's dumb, knock it off.

Finally the generic-standard psychedelic, mawkish-yet-ghoulish greeting card this stupid holiday deserves.

Where's that confounded military coup to finish off Trump already, not paywalled: ericsaeger.medium.com/wherefore-ar...

Your Lovely News Of The Half-Hour, from Europe's BrowserGate.

The Tomorrow War as the zenith of military propaganda, not paywalled. medium.com/p/trump-and-...

A few words on No Kings and the divide on the left, not paywalled. medium.com/p/no-kings-a...

I doubt they need much help in that regard.

And that's why well-off anti-socialist liberals are as inherently bad as MAGAs. Their idea of social justice is minorities getting minimal representation at the highest power levels, not every citizen having the same basic privileges (food, shelter, the wherewithal to work on their dreams) as them.

In which I comment on Matt Taibbi and the current state of political leadership, meaning the complete lack thereof. Not paywalled. medium.com/p/go-touch-g...

"This is your brain on pedophilia."

I started a dating site for chickens. It's not my normal day job. I'm just doing it to make hens meet...

Here you go, kids: Overwork due to capitalism causes Alzheimers, reports The Telegraph. share.google/U8duUXQC96hV...

You can kill these things with a shotgun.

:)

That's nothing compared to the celebrations we'll see when this lunatic becomes plant food.

Winter is finally leaving. Unlike the 230,000 people who've ended their own lives so far this awful, terrible year, you've survived. You aren't expected to accomplish anything else.

In the words of Samuel Adams, the people have largely become "tributary slaves" without any real representation.

Every single fucking thing about this timeline feels so false and broken. Most people are just waiting for someone to pull the fire alarm so all humanity can stampede out the doors to hunt down the rich and smash everything in sight while Alice Cooper's "School's Out" blares from the car speakers.

Not paywalled: Al Capone Would Have Laughed at Donald Trump (And Taken All His Money) medium.com/p/al-capone-...

I still want to get a few guys with VPNs together and go on 4chan and convince the MAGAs that the FBI is investigating a group of actual LGBTQIA werewolves going berserk in Arkansas. I swear to fucking God I could make it happen.

MTG is the Leah Remini of MAGA.

Nearly all the surviving mammals on earth are either humans or animals that are specifically raised for humans to eat. That's not indicative of an "intelligent dominant species," it's further proof that humans are led by a tiny predatory minority that never thinks about long-term consequences.

It's normal to manage your anger over Trump by yelling at citizens who couldn't vote for people like this. But it's not normal to refuse to criticize the party whose only selling point is being less obvious than the Republicans about their total contempt for "middle class morality."

Per The Mirror: Black zones indicate where 75% would perish if all-out nuclear war broke out (determined by "radiation absorbed doses," destructive energy units). But no, it definitely isn't time to pull a January 6th on Trump's White House, nothing to see here, just keep working and shopping.

Thought this was funny. Before I list this for sale and forget about it, this book, The Anxious Enquirer, written in 1834, was apparently owned by an agnostic, who wrote this criticism of the Bible at the bottom of the last page in pencil: "One of the greatest books of nonsense ever written. Amen."

I almost forgot, did you notice how Trump said the word "affordability," like it made him physically sick to spit it out? We are ruled by cannibal fucking pedo ghouls.

Ladies and gentlemen, the George W Bush of shitlibs.

Oh *do* fuck off with your pitiful yammering about "Rule Of Law" in a country where the president is a proven deranged pedophile and a Black guy gets killed for selling a Marlboro menthol loosie. You sound like a kindergartener demanding a ride on a Chuck E Cheese dinosaur.

This is 100% accurate. American citizens have been completely hopelessly traumatized forever now, one thing coming after another, at least since the Gaza invasion, oops I mean Trump's first election win, oops I mean the 2008 Wall Street crash, oops I mean 9/11, oops I mean Desert Storm, oops I mean

The only non-insane explanation is that the "official numbers" track the price of 100-foot yachts, like how the "unemployment figure" only counts people who clean up the mess after Barron Trump kills a hooker.

Cuck Nation.

"Have you seen Junior's GRADES?"

We literally outnumber the 400 greed-reptiles who own and control this country by 950,000 to one, but apparently people have nagging questions about the right wine to pair with billionaire liver masala. May I suggest a merlot?

Elmo is losing his shit watching Anthropic eating his lunch in the AI wars. Here he is yesterday, literally getting trolled by a heckler who called him a sucky dad.