About time #SockPuppets

*secret microphone recording*

“Epstein was an evil paedophile.” “Yes, and did you see his spelling and grammar?”

Breaking News: Keir Starmer has forgotten he’s the Prime Minister

Unexpected #thetraitors #traitors #traitorsuk

This is where staff discount comes in handy www.theguardian.com/society/2025...

Prince Andrew gives up royal titles including Duke of York after 'discussion with King' Full image second pic

“When your bird is broken, will it bring you down…”

Alternative uses of a vaginal speculum

Did you know if you drop your phone in water, you can wedge it in this man’s bottom and it will completely dry out

“I would never have appointed Peter Mandelson had I known his links to Jeffrey Epstein, who I've never even heard of. I mean, who is he? Has anyone heard of him before? Certainly not me."

I’d watch it

Someone on Twitter requested me to add music to this

Ok, so this amused me much more than it should have

Your mam shouts at hotels and your dad paints roundabouts

I found a cute dog

Worst version of Family Fortunes I’ve ever seen

Always suspected Rippon was off her tits

The BBC have hacked the new series of MasterChef to pieces

My first review is in! 🙌 nottscomedyreview.wordpress.com

I have some distressing news for the Lord Mayor of Birmingham.

Your porn name is ALAN followed by a term related to hairdressing

Roses are red Violets are mediocre

Thanks to everyone who correctly pointed out that my name is also alliterative and so it seems I have sealed my own impending death 👍🏼

Ozzy Osbourne then Hulk Hogan, two celebrities with alliterative names. All eyes now on Gary Glitter.

New series of MasterChef is pretty short

I had a crack at stand up! More gigs forthcoming! Can you hear me? Is this thing on?

"Live every day as if it's your last."

A new pope needs to be chosen and ITV hasn't had a big Saturday night hit show for years. What about bringing back an old format with a slight tweak?

HAPPY MOTHS DAY

20 years since Mitch Hedberg passed away. Bona fide fucking comedy genius. youtu.be/vrIw2i4WtA4?...

Headstone suggestion

Faffing about

Charity shop window display appears to depict Alexander Litvinenko being nursed by his wife following his radiation poisoning.

That time I had an argument with the manager of Clintons Cards

I just howled all the way through reading this so I think I'm a bad man. BBC News - Couple's trauma after body placed next to them on flight www.bbc.com/news/article...

They're now being sued for plagiarism by the estate of John Cage.

Cause of death: His song

IT'S TIME FOR LOVE YOUR WEEKEND IT'S TIME FOR LOVE YOUR WEEKEND IT'S TIME FOR LOVE YOUR WEEKEND IT'S TIME FOR LOVE YOUR WEEKEND IT'S TIME FOR LOVE YOUR WEEKEND IT'S TIME FOR LOVE YOUR WEEKEND IT'S TIME FOR LOVE YOUR WEEKEND IT'S TIME FOR LOVE YOUR WEEKEND IT'S TIME FOR LOVE YOUR WEEKEND IT'S TIME FO

They explode? 💣

Me and the icomparable Clinton Baptiste ( with @darrendutton.bsky.social ) youtu.be/4vFx4hv79A4?...

Can't believe this happened (it didn't happen)

Abandoned trolley: my life

Who else used the theme tune from Bread to motivate themselves to get out of bed today? #BuyItSellItTheGamesGettingHard

How many faithfuls does it take to make a sandwich? Answer: 4 #TheTraitors

Recommended: watching #TheTraitors with the subtitles on

Wrong words karaoke, sing along