it’s bandcamp friday, i just released my new album last month! check it out and do consider giving me seven whole dollars for it, it’s very good

Baby's Day Out is about a vagrant baby that wanders everywhere irresponsibly. much less employable than Boss Baby

i thought the movie mid-90s was about old people because of the title but damn, they look pretty good for their age!

my som said your son killed a seabird

it's actually much safer to lose your mind these days

yang looks like the criterion come and see poster

memento is a heartbreaking movie about a man who will never be buried in a jewish cemetery

me giving myself wolf cut bangs

antifa made my room dirty

take advantage of my loophole 😛

i learned to change my shape at juilliard

having a gay brother is very brave

never ending pussy drop at olive garden

don't know much about minestrone don't know much about ravioli don't know much about tortellini

popping out of the delorean to say that your kids are gonna love this sigma chad advice

gay people lore is too complicated. so you like the same things? thats humanity...

dj playing no scrubs at the end of the world

its called plaque-maxxing amd im 3 months fluoride free

i am going to hypnotize the owners of pornhub

i am going to hypnotize the owners of pornhub

Roach Sucking Unit is what they call me when i smoke weed

when i buy my own house i can finally fulfill my dream of setting up home alone traps for myself

tower of babel... ermmmm ill live in one of those please! ☝️🤓

The Naked Gun? all these woke libs would have liked it if it were called The Gay Kid Won!

some people think nursery rhymes are clever, but i think doctor-y rhymes are way more clever!

tank from the matrix but with tits

You’ve been hit by you’ve been struck by a second plane

Gooooood morning shoppers! A second plane has hit the world trade center

Babe I’m so scared about political destabilization, can you send nudes

If I was rich I would get in a serious car crash every day

you two have raised a fine young femboy

Build Your Own Cravings Box? my cravings built me!

my wife packed a diet coke and a twenty dollar bill for me as my lunch at my job on the submarine

seatgeek, you have blood on your hands

mamdani wants to put the borg cube in new york

steve urkel when faced with a moral dilemma: "should i do that?"

do you think anyone injects hormones between their toes like its heroin

joe biden: i never lost any of my baby teeth. i still have all of them in my mouth. and all my adult teeth are in there too. that makes 52 teeth. reporter: sir the question was about a ceasefire

my pants are poop-coded

kony was weird. having child soldiers was pretty weird tbh

i love that you can google search "weird french twins" and the bogdanoffs come up

puzzle pieces fit better when theyre wet

My journalism isn’t yellow. More of a tasteful lemon chiffon

imagine how crazy that mask must have made jim carey’s butthole look!!!

how about Now You Seat Me and its magicians on a plane

1984 baseball is illegal

kevin nealon, don't!!! you're gonna make the price of microphones skyrocket if you keep hoarding so many of these!!!!