a tree fell in a forest. i wasnt around for it. who cares what happened?

benjamin franklin side quest be like "i want you to fly my kite and publish my poor richard's almanac"

all of britain is powered by one wind turbine

these balls have been formatted to fit your screen

i do all of my banking through Sleep Number

i would never let my child start a band named Cherry Poppin Daddies

the government requires that you take 5mg of thc to have a better command of language

this alley was built in case a spiderman needs to learn how to climb it

is a swing revival when my parent of choice gives me another push on the swing set? oh what fun!

all kids do nowadays is ask AI if plato is in fortnite

u and i arent cool tim cooke. the big text effect didnt work when i sent her the word "penis"

painting my Penis to look like a Telephone and walking around making loud Ringing sound; ask beautiful woman “Can u answer this 4 me????????”

angel batista has been added to fortnite!

i would pay less for the sky if it had ads

thank you for sharing this article. i would have guessed he had a big penis, personally, not a small penis as mentioned in the article

i would pay less for the sky if it had ads

this was not made with AI

i denounce transformers. God didnt make a plane so that it could become a man!

it’s bandcamp friday, i just released my new album last month! check it out and do consider giving me seven whole dollars for it, it’s very good

Baby's Day Out is about a vagrant baby that wanders everywhere irresponsibly. much less employable than Boss Baby

i thought the movie mid-90s was about old people because of the title but damn, they look pretty good for their age!

my som said your son killed a seabird

it's actually much safer to lose your mind these days

yang looks like the criterion come and see poster

memento is a heartbreaking movie about a man who will never be buried in a jewish cemetery

me giving myself wolf cut bangs

antifa made my room dirty

take advantage of my loophole 😛

i learned to change my shape at juilliard

having a gay brother is very brave

never ending pussy drop at olive garden

don't know much about minestrone don't know much about ravioli don't know much about tortellini

popping out of the delorean to say that your kids are gonna love this sigma chad advice

gay people lore is too complicated. so you like the same things? thats humanity...

dj playing no scrubs at the end of the world

its called plaque-maxxing amd im 3 months fluoride free

i am going to hypnotize the owners of pornhub

i am going to hypnotize the owners of pornhub

Roach Sucking Unit is what they call me when i smoke weed

when i buy my own house i can finally fulfill my dream of setting up home alone traps for myself

tower of babel... ermmmm ill live in one of those please! ☝️🤓

The Naked Gun? all these woke libs would have liked it if it were called The Gay Kid Won!

some people think nursery rhymes are clever, but i think doctor-y rhymes are way more clever!

tank from the matrix but with tits

You’ve been hit by you’ve been struck by a second plane

Gooooood morning shoppers! A second plane has hit the world trade center

If I was rich I would get in a serious car crash every day