A vehicle set up by Jeffrey Epstein, yesterday

Yo Hegseth, how about weaning the military off all that woke vitamin C while you're at it?

The adoption of the warfighter mindset renders the body immune to all diseases, or something

Probably ought to make your peace while you can with the Michael Jackson movie making serious bank this weekend.

Well, well, looks like someone's about to put their special beating-off glove to good use

This week in Things Not To Be Mistaken For Your Vibrator: the Dyson Hushjet Mini Cool Fan.

are you: trans? a metal musician? want to contribute to a compilation album that will raise money directly for trans people in need? then what the fuck are you waiting for?? get in the pit!! forms.gle/dhtLGhurrwQs...

One of the cool things about the 1971 EMS Synthi 100 analogue modular synthesiser is the way it's exactly the same as modern Digital Audio Workstation software in that, at first glance, it's not remotely apparent how you get a noise of any sort out of the thing, let alone anything resembling music

Watched AFTERBURN, another totally okay but utterly forgettable movie with no apparent distinguishing qualities and also one of the worst VFX explosions I have seen in recent years. I'd slap at it, but there's nothing to slap at.

I will personally give $5 to every journalist interviewing Soderbergh for THE CHRISTOPHERS who asks him where the fuck my SOLARIS Blu-ray is at.

Gwyneth Paltrow can’t find anywhere in New York to get a quick, healthy, delicious meal but here’s a red-tailed hawk grabbing lunch outside the Ft Hamilton F stop. Skill issue.

So, *maths* 15.5mph, which is 3mph or so slower than roadrunner cruising speed. Get back to me when y'all got machines which run quicker than living frickin' dinosaurs.

Things that will make you self-terminate in 2026: • LLMs • Addiction to porn • Addiction to porn made by LLMs

Got a hankering to see Robert Altman's sophomore movie COUNTDOWN (1967) in which James Caan and Robert Duvall fight to be first man on the Moon, which he was sacked from during editing due to... overlapping dialogue. Doesn't seem to be streaming anywhere or available in any physical form 🥲

Some Chilean yoga instructor must have done Martín Rejtman some serious physical and psychic damage, judging by how many strips his very funny movie THE PRACTICE tears off the whole yoga deal and industry which he fills with nincompoops, emotional retentives, grifters and souls that ever remain lost

Can't go to Europe because border control delays Can't go to America because concentration camps Can't go anywhere else because no fuel for airplanes

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Tommy Wiseau is quite probably mentally unwell and y'all need to stop enabling him, whereas Neil Breen is clearly a genuine threat to society who must be stopped at all costs, ideally through the medium of weaponised Red Letter Media mockery.

This is the most Mr Beast content I’ve ever consumed and it only serves to make his fame and success even more mysterious. Important commentary on just how busted the entire YouTube ecosystem is at its apex

Beefing with Catholicism is as old as the USA, and as we come up on the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, could it be time for a reboot? Some of the groundwork has already been laid in place for the evangelical right to ditch the Pope and set up a new Church Of America with Trump as its head...

Hey, want to see a grand piano playing itself while swinging back and forth above the stage at the Barbican's concert hall and creaking ominously all the while? Of course you do.

"Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true: Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil, Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet. All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world, So there was only one thing that I could do: Was ding-a-ding-dang my dang-a-long-ling-long"

Fun when a podcast episode is released but then pulled and on rerelease proves to have a weird audio defect that sounds a lot like the result of trying to compensate for horrible clipping due to messed-up levels

What they gonna do, shoot the statue a couple more times just to be sure?

Top secret military installations in the huge white ballroom, gotcha

Christian Petzold comes across as a lovely man and very (drily) funny, even when speaking English

Unlike your namby-pamby Catholic Church, the Church of England has at least one cleric who isn't soft on crime: The Bishop

Given how much Doug Liman has sucked for most of his career, this doesn't surprise me in the slightest

Incorporating "runkari" into my everyday vocabulary IMMEDIATELY

lmfao

Sigh *updates ThingsThatWillKillYouInAustralia.xls*

Watched a Xavier Dolan film. Unsurprisingly, it was not good.

Forgot to drain and clean the food steamer then didn't use it for a few weeks and, to cut a long story short, I think I've discovered penicillin

Convince Digital Jesus To Off Itself For The Least Expenditure Challenge… GO!

Semi-regular reminder that despite having plentiful means and opportunity, Elon has never been to space.

Fam, I am SHOOK to discover that the Red Letter Media crew are apparently totally unfamiliar with the original GONE IN 60 SECONDS. HB Halicki did not die in vain, dammit!!

Being ridiculed online for how you failed at eating a burger like a relatable human being? Rather than take the L and own it, why not just throw your own mother under the bus?

AI footage in the quote post. However it's a real fact, with real footage available (See my link below). Now people who believed it have a false image of how octopus act, and people who recognise it as AI question a real observed scientific fact. Utter bullshit. www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN9B...

This is even funnier when you consider that Brian Eno literally released a track called My Squelchy Life, about which you can form your own opinions, although I will say that one time I downloaded a porn over which someone had dubbed this track and it was, erm, not helpful

Watched MIKE & NICK & NICK & ALICE and I wasn't anticipating this 🥲 A classy, apposite and moving tribute from @bdgrabinski.bsky.social

Cubase installation is going well

#LastFourWatched Gonna do fewer Alexandre O. Philippe docs next week

keming. not even once.

Total mystery which director's new film playing at Cannes this still is promoting.

lol "good name"

My "I never had a relationship with Jeffrey Epstein" speech has a lot of people asking questions already answered by my speech…

Watching CRIME 101. Madeleine fucking suuuuuuuuuuucks.

This post deserves two thumbs-ups

Now I see why the local kitty who has been non-unfriendly but distinctly standoffish over 10 years or so has suddenly started wandering over for pets and displays of rolling around: she's trying to recruit me into her feud with an orange interloper who's been using her turf for access. I feel used.