Guess that makes him a NIMVY

But has he thrown a kettle over a pub?

I'm still finding it hard to believe that Angine de Poitrine isn't a Reeves and Mortimer sketch

What we Brits hear: "We're reigning in the Iranian uranium. We'll also be keeping an eye on the aluminum situation. Thank y'all very much. Y'all come back now, you hear? Shoot... darn varmints"

When a Geordie forwards an email, is it an F Why Aye man?

I sometimes find these old bits of clay tobacco pipe along the river where I live, and wonder whose gob they once hung out of and what stories they could tell. A bit like your dad

Even with all the death and destruction going on in the world, I think we're still allowed to laugh at Americans talking about the "Strait of Whore Moos". A bit.

My Bloody Valentine songs about farts: When You Fart Feed Me With Your Guff I Only Trumped I Can See It (But I Can't Smell It) Shit Stain in Your Bed Only Sulphur

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS ANTIMATTER!

I'd have to say: The Best of Elvis www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...

At primary school, Moby tried to convince everyone that his new name was "Electric Dude Man". And that everyone had to call him Electric Dude Man. Because that was his real name now.

The first video game where you actually have to die to complete it

Remember when Banksy's identity was finally revealed and he looked like a cowboy builder who has just been collared during an episode of Rogue Traders?

Not now mythical goatsucker bird etc. www.southdowns.gov.uk/mythical-goa...

Hear me out. Oil tanker SUBMARINES

Was he an actual love machine or a cat, and where did the cat go (if he was a cat)?

Can't recommend this enough if you're fed up with seeing screenshots of the bad old place bsky.app/profile/xblo...

RIP Joseph 'Country Joe' McDonald, a towering figure of the West Coast sound. "GIMME AN F"

I would really like to hear Liam Gallagher say "Sunni and Shiite Islam". Perhaps as part of the lyrics to a song. Is there anyone here that can make this happen?

Has anyone mentioned that if we were under a Tory or Reform government right now, we would probably be fully committed to joining MAGA's Rapture exercise?

I prefer "nonce bins"

The song 'Substitute' by The Who was written by an angry Pete Townsend, during a period when he was becoming increasingly disillusioned with his Tesco's shopping delivery

You know Donald means business when he does those pursed cat's bum lips

I'm sure these weren't placed next to each other deliberately

Thin skinned, sore losers with utter contempt for the people they claim they will represent. Keep these fuckers out at every opportunity we will get.

There's too much hate and division in this world, so let's all laugh along with the beautiful man that is John Davidson. Affliction and all youtu.be/KtCG0wG-5E0?...

I'm not into football. No interest whatsoever, so don't bother asking me what I think about this Diego Garcia deal

Before the Sooty Show, Matthew Corbett had a brief but successful music career

Wood shoe believe it?

Being a bit of a fossil nerd, I just thought 'meh... worn crinoid stem cross section' Sorry ladies, I'm taken

Imagine being the copper who will, one day, get to tell his grandkids about the time he had a rummage through Andrew Mountbatten's underwear drawers

You couldn't accuse them of forming a Mickey Mouse government because he'd just paint over it. Ah, come on. That's Hislop grade shit. BBC News - Reform names Robert Jenrick as pick for chancellor www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

My new favourite insult

New events I'd like to see in the Winter Olympics Equestrian skiing Ice snooker Snowman wrestling Tenpin bowling. On ice. With penguins instead of skittles.

From henceforth, The Night Manager shall be referred to as 'Waitrose James Bond'

Still the greatest video ever made. Sorry. I don't make the rules...

You never hear of people naming their kids Tarzan

Finally opened my new Spanish tapas restaurant - Stop! Jamón Time

Just because a buncha boats came. We had boats there too... and what do Greenlandians want with a buncha crappy snow anyhow? We stopped 8 wars

Regret to inform that my dog still insists on having a dump in front of Our Lord J H Christ

Woke up this morning wearing hair rollers and wrinkled stockings. Think it's that Nora virus that's going round

France there. Controlling its borders and removing unwanted foreigners, as is its right to do so. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

(Repeat)

Hup era Wonder Stuff at the Brixton Academy

I stopped doing narcotics years ago but I've just seen that Pink Floyd at Pompeii is on NowTV and suddenly have a longing for a bit of squidgy black. If that's still a thing

'Cause it's a Band C speeding penalty, that's life

“Hold it! There’s a car across the street—you sure you weren’t followed, Mary?”

Is this what Enya was harping on about? "The Orinoco Belt consists of large deposits of extra heavy crude oil. Venezuela's heavy oil deposits of about 1,200 billion barrels (1.9×1011 m3), found primarily in the Orinoco Petroleum Belt..."

We need to stop landfill indie coming back

Ant Man's real name is Anthony Mansfield