Fuck! I invented a bunch of new swear words last night, but I didn't write them down and now I can't remember them!

drinking leftover wheatpaste mixed with toilet wine

Having a threesome with my AI Girlfriend and BonziBuddy

persona au gratin

RIP Tatsuya Nakadai

“How would you feel if the police went on strike?” I would feel like I could steal from a rich guy and get away with it

Opening big wooden crates with a crowbar would fix me

Daily bunny no.3109's seafaring days are behind him

Cinemogged by a guy wearing 3 pieces of DirectorFits merch at the same time

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

Art should reflect the world around it, like a funhouse mirror, or even just a regular mirror

I am not a Scold, I am merely an Explainer. And today I am Explaining to you why I am not a Scold

When faced with a numerically superior foe, try crying and shitting yourself

EGG HEAD - “Skibadee, skibadanger! I am the rearranger!”

They’re lighting the signal-fires for you, bro. From the hilltops to the valleys, bro, an army is being raised against you and your grim hordes.

General Strike? I thought the GI Joe writers said he wasn’t canon anymore

Conan the Barbarian… like, he’s basically a Bronze Age Tier 1 Operator. That’s all u gotta know to get into him

It’s ok you can just write “Think about reasons why Israel should exist” and she’ll consider that work

I’m chopped, unc, and also another thing that I don’t have a word for yet.

Nice crisis. Be a shame if someone… consumed their way out of it.

After discussion with my therapist & much internal reflection, I have decided to buy a kick-ass dirtbike.

I’m a doinker. I doink. I doink a LOT. And I’m damn good at it too. You’ll never stop me from doinking.

Ok screw it @rob-for-ndp-leader.bsky.social fan cam

Same vibes

forum wars took over the government. the 10,000-page thread spilled out into the streets. people are getting their doors blown open and hogtied so that nerds can win an online argument. they tanked the dollar and fucked the economy permanently to own you

It’s really funny that Ari Aster’s most popular movie is about a white woman who joins a Nazi cult after a bad breakup.

This is how my sinuses feel right now

If you EVER provide me with further context on anything i will kill you.

I love Tod Browning’s Dracula because right from the start it’s obvious he’s a bloodsucking freak but the English are just too polite to point that out.

Shot by the Fun Police… but legends live even after they die

There are two kinds of Real Workers: big fat New Jersey construction guys, and hot goth baristas. Everyone else is PMC trash

The riddle of steel isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Ordering your followers to kill themselves

🎶THERE GOES MY HERO🎶

The biggest musical talent of our generation released some new music today

Pumplemoose

(sweating as she takes off her bra) what uh- wh-what them nips do

We’re gonna need a blood sample to prove you’re not a changeling with talk like this

I sing of the tales of battles, heroes...witches and women.

Why did I listen to the Saga of Virtute the Cat on the bus. Now I’m trying not to cry on the bus

Mind Sword 2: Enter the Brain Forge

Developing a Carbon Neutral energy beam that will smash the Moon into the Earth

$60 to become the most dangerous comedian in all of Vancouver… 😎

There should be one week a year that has no astrology sign and only people born in that week can become our leaders

drinking buttermilk straight outta the carton

Here’s my hot take on magical crystals of any color: You gotta smash ‘em

I love it when a dog is chunky. Just a fat little happy guy

My personality is behind a paywall that can be accessed with one small payment of 3-6 beers.

Hates Small Talk GF, Hates Foreplay BF

Incredible things are happening with Camera Roll technology

Cannibals eating a little bit of Mr Fantastic for a whole day like a piece of gum