Idk man...i think we be having different sex.

Depends on the context because it's Butter PEE-can and its puh-KAHN Pie

Sometimes I want a pen pal but sometimes.. I want to be disgustingly in love

A package hasn't "shipped" if you've only "created the label"

Important: If you believe it’s “Karen shit” to check the s*x offenders list in your local area, it’s probably cause you or a friend is a member of that list.

Sometimes i can't tell if a post is a joke or serious

cameron diaz, lucy liu and drew barrymore, charlie’s angels promo (2000)

Scrolling past things that you don't like/aren't for you is a skill a lot of people need to learn.

Post a famous bathroom scene “Bitch, you better be joking”

Damn I need to watch some more media

There are moments as an American where I just have to stop thinking too much about something or I will lose my mind. This moment in which it needs to be WRITTEN IN THE LAW TO FORCE MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS TO NOT F*CK OVER BLACK WOMEN & BABIES AND DO THE JOB THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO is one of them.

It don’t even gotta be cold outside frfr

Excessive cursing around elders

It dead ass costs $100 to open your front door.

Beyoncé and Kelly have been outside!

I don't want to do shit on Thursday except drink and heat stuff up

I promise I'm cooking on Wednesday this year

We should have the whole week off

Ever year im so happy we stopped actually making a turkey

Brisket???.. Moist???.. Beyoncé!!??

I should still be asleep

Never thought I'd see the day

Easily Pepsi

I love me some overflowing cleavage. Mmm!😮‍💨

Someone said, a love language no one talks about is when someone works on themselves so their baggage doesn’t become your burden….

who set my alarm clock for before 8 am? WHO?????

We got UK people saying “dead-arse” NYC influences the world.

I listen to the same songs cuz I know they won’t lie to me.

Zodiac signs should not be an excuse for not dating somebody…like bffr 🤣

Idk I just feel like you should love and adore me immediately bc what is there to figure out?

I'm the only one who didn't know Mary from #RHOSLC is married to her grandpa??

Everybody miss me but no ones outside my balcony with a boombox and flowers?????

ENERGY

I know love is a choice cuz i would never choose a white woman. Lmaooooo

Tessa Thompson is the cover star for C Magazine winter issue

We have the illusion of free will. Like you can turn right or left to get somewhere but at the end of the day, your destination stays the same

I would still be in the hole I crawled in if this happened to me

And if you're a slow talker, please send it in a text

:( no thank you

Pro tip: if your nail breaks too high up, all you need is a nail file, nail glue and a paper towel

I want to go skiing so bad

If you say it 3-4 times until someone notices, those aren't intrusive thoughts please stfu

9 days away from seeing the worst plates imaginable posted on the internet.

Tax free?

I really detest you niggas with beautiful ass eyelashes. 😂😍

This book has really been helping me.

Lima beans are nasty