That settles it. I’m moving to Scotland.

Sorry to be so controversial on a holiday but it has to be said. Corner pieces on brownies: 👍🏼 Corner pieces on square pizza: 👎🏼

Me n who

Bring em on

Yall remember when we thought a secret pee tape was gunna end the nightmare for us? Haha those were good times, right?

Finally finished playing through Alan Wake 2 and the Lake House expansion and hooboy do I need to watch some Care Bears or sum’n

Gavin stop sucking republican cock for one fucking day challenge 2026

Fuck those guys. I can get my own pizza. Ehh with blackjack! And hookers!

Eva is an inspiration all day every day

Age verification? I used to ride in cars without a seatbelt and it wasn’t illegal.

So satisfying to delete Teams and Outlook from my phone. We don’t have to talk about how I’ll have to reinstall them both the second I start a new job.

Oh god damnit. It’s Thursday and the office buys lunch. I missed free pizza! They couldn’t wait until I got the free food first?! Just rude. 😤

They’re offering me job placement assistance. Has anyone worked with an agency like that after a layoff?

Welp. I’m unemployed. 😤

A hot Dad smiled and nodded at me in the crosswalk

Come sit next to Grandpa Dave, kids and I’ll tell you a story about a time when all our televisions were 13 inches - same size as your MacBook, and you had to get up and walk across the room to change the channel, and you played your Atari on channel 4 with the help of a special box with a switch.

The sweetest baby came to see me during lunch!!!

This ad in the Montgomery Muni station is literally killing me. “You let AI write all your code and it’s terrible and full of bugs! Let AI fix your buggy AI sourced code!”

All I’m saying is that this many people don’t crime this openly and this brazenly unless you believe - because you have a plan or someone has told you they have a plan - that you will never face consequences for those crimes.

Takada-chan is correct

After melting my brain in The Dark Place last night I had to hit K-pop Demon Hunters for the morning commute

Yes. Playing an absolutely terrifying video game is a good idea right before bed, actually. What could possibly happen?

Oh. Shawn Ashmore voicing the Sheriff of Bright Falls, and also the main character from Quantum Break? Coincidence? 🤔

I made it 3 minutes into the game and then I understood why

Why did Alan Wake 2 require me to accept terms of service before I could start the game??

Today was a shit day and I don’t even know how to process it entirely. I think I will sit on the couch and narcotize myself with television. Anything good to marathon that has no connections to reality at all?

This is fucking bullshit. 😤

Sometimes I take a decent pic.

“The DOJ is giving members of Congress just 4 computers in a satellite office to review 3 million documents.” Ma’am hire 4 extremely online homosexuals and provide so much iced coffee a heterosexual would have myocardial infarction and you’ll have your answers in 12 hours flat.

Post a banger not in English:

Anyway my best friend of almost 30 years just sent this to me unprompted after we had not talked for 6 months (for no particular reason) So I guess I’m just gunna spend the evening crying myself to sleep. And just in case anyone else needed a reminder… here you go.

Who made lemon pepper chicken with angel hair pasta without a recipe like a grown up? (Or cheating with lemon pepper seasoning) THIS GUY. Someone better snatch me up by Friday, for reasons.

Oh anyway, Short Bus is a movie I forgot existed but you should give it a watch.

Okay I’m not mad about drafts

The only opinion that matters is Elmo’s.

And then I woke up to some of the absolute worst takes I’ve ever read in my entire life… …from my European friends.

☠️ Anyway that’s my costume figured out

Seeing people reporting that they have “a lot of people” on their feeds complaining about the halftime show. I only have one (1), and he’s complaining there was a white woman on the stage and not a Latina. I guess I’ve chosen my friends and follows pretty well.

Sports people: it’s ok to text your gay friend when it’s almost half time so they don’t miss Bad Bunny

34 minute episodes of The Knight of 7 Kingdoms is absolute bullshit. Also, Ser Dunk is the absolute spitting image of an ex. If only he had been so earnest.

How come every time Crixus gets mouthy, Spartacus doesn’t just say “Is this show named Crixus? No it’s not. It’s named Spartacus.”

Finally got around to watching Spartacus this weekend and every time I get a little horny over it they splash blood all over the screen and kill my boner.

His stage name is BAD BUNNY... a bad-ass artist and honey-of-a-Bunny. His given name is Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio. He is a handsome 31-year-old American citizen. Make no mistake. 1917: The Jones Act grants U.S. citizenship to all Puerto Ricans. I'll be watching... I'm a huge fan!

Why does today have big Sunday energy? 😢

Thank you, Facebook, for the reminder that on this day 9 years ago I got dumped by my boyfriend in Mexico while 6 days into a 2 week vacation together.

Fun fact: the Tuesday before Valentines Day is known as “Red Tuesday” and is the day the most people break up most often in the year.

It’s not strange to wake up on any given day with a song stuck in my head. But would not ever have guessed in the year of our lord two thousand and twenty six that it would be Matchbox 20.

Yes that’s correct

Also now I want (white people) tacos. 🌮