I really want someone who hasn't spoken to me in years to get in touch so I can brag about being a grandma. No one specific, anyone will do. When my cousin (who is 10 years older than me and has 3 adult kids) got in touch, I cannot tell you how satisfying it was to say "Hah, beat you!"

Choose your fighter [Orb Edition]

For the whole of Pride Month 2026, every item in my ko-fi shop is 100% free! Check back throughout the month for more drops <3 ko-fi.com/tephramancy/...

There's a YouTuber I like who puts his glasses on only during ad reads to make it easier for people to skip the ad, and even though I know there are easier ways to do that now, I am boundlessly enamoured by it.

Pretty sure I've been cursed by a witch, because every time we order takeaway and something's missing from the order, it's always my food that's missing, never anyone else's. Genuinely, if you cast this spell, bravo, because it is fucking infuriating.

Spending so much time writing tragic gay Cyberpunk fanfic that I don't have time to play tragic gay Cyberpunk.

If I had a nickel for every time one of my ex-boyfriends turned out to be a woman all along, I'd have two nickels, which isn't much, and to be quite honest if you know me even a little bit it's not really that surprising and I will probably have more nickels to add to the pile eventually.

Go see Hackers in the cinema

Me when I came out in later life and realised how much catching up I had to do

James Somerton is putting a book out?! Jesus fucking Christ, some people never learn www.reddit.com/r/youtubedra...

Having a bit of a menty b because I was so affected by a video game romance that I had to start writing some fanfic about it to fuck it out of my brain, extremely normal middle aged behaviour tbh

Lads, we've done it, we've finally found the dumbest thing Brianna Wu has ever said out loud. It's been a long road, but we finally made it.

Holy shit, that's uncanny

Proposal: "Who wants to be a millionaire?" But the contestants are all billionaires and have no choice.

Listen, I know I'm old, but I really don't think it's normal that my neck sounds like a cement mixer whenever I swivel my head.

How am I doing? Well. I just ate lasagna in the bathtub so on one hand, really good, and on the other hand, quite bad actually.

Doing my part for the useless lesbian trope by falling in love with the straight girl who lives miles outside town in Cyberpunk 2077. Don't get me wrong, Judy is sweet, but goddamn Panam, break my fuckin' heart why don't ya.

That thing when you randomly remember that before his family changed their last name to get free from the Children of God cult, River Phoenix's name was River Bottom.

Ladies, if he has a podcast, that's a red flag. If he has a Henry Rollins fan podcast, that's a black flag.

Tense scenes in the semi-final of the Mens Overly-Nonchalant Sidle

post your contextless photoshops

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I have actual paid work I could be doing but instead I am building a (2nd) mini version of Electrowerkz in House Flipper because shut the fuck up that's why

I don't think I've talked about this before, but realising I was ADHD precipitated realising I was gay. I could never understand why breakups with men hurt so bad when I didn't want to be with them anyway, and then I learned what RSD is and it fucked my shit up. thedailytism.com/audhd-woman-...

It's Hayao Miyazaki's birthday! Celebrate by running very fast in the countryside after learning something weird has happened to your parents.

I've just seen someone refer to the week between Christmas and New Year as "Twixmas" and I'm sorry, but no. No descriptor in human history will ever surpass "the festive perineum".

Home Alone gave me unrealistic expectations of how many times an adult can fall over and get back up again without crying.

TIL the voice of Squidward is a guy named Rodger Bumpass, which literally sounds like the name of a SpongeBob character. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodger_...

Santa Claus' sleigh breaks down over northern Germany. "Bah," he exclaims, looking down... "Hamburg."

Can someone please explain to me, in very small words, why in the sweaty fuck anyone would want AI in a hookup app? www.them.us/story/grindr...

Y'all know what time (of year) it is twitch.tv/thedjbee

Maybe I'm starting to go soft in my old age, but the Star Wars prequels are actually starting to grow on me.

Dracula: im so pale Vlad: im paler

Apparently Jeffree Star has set upon his Milo Yiannopoulos era and I am the least surprised human being on the face of planet earth. www.out.com/media/jeffre...

Introduce yourself with five concerts you've seen — New Model Army Sigue Sigue Sputnik Duran Duran Stiff Little Fingers Massive Attack

When you see this, skeet a pic from your gallery to describe your mental health

In case anyone needs any more evidence to distrust Google AI results, I ran into this one organically yesterday. Stephanie Leonidas was 100% a main cast member in Snatch S1. I was literally just trying to find out why she didn't come back for S2.

Heaven knows he's a miserable cunt now

Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy.

You're a Monarch I need you in the Glen

whoever gave alex jones that monkey’s paw really has a lot to answer for

Look, I didn't have Trump bankrupting the BBC on my 2025 bingo card but oh god it would be so incredibly funny if it happened

Goon a movie The Goondock Saints

So many questions I don't want the answers to

Oh no, Shirley Valentine 😭

All I really want is to live long enough for science to tell me why my cats love being spanked so much

Goth club bangers, spicy horror visuals, and a stoned middle-aged lesbian for a host, what more could you want for All Hallow's Eve? www.twitch.tv/thedjbee