nice argument, unfortunately i have already depicted myself as Switch 2 Keith David and you as Gamecube Jason Alexander

I have been asked to stop placing ‘George Washington slept here’ plaques in front of this nation’s great Chuck E. Cheese locations

Wasn’t paying attention to which jar I grabbed and just messed up my peanut butter and jelly so bad

I think my sinus problems would go away if someone would hit me with a comically large cartoon mallet

It is really funny to name a basketball team ‘New York Pants’

Petition to rename the Atlanta Braves to “Blooper’s Boys”

If you eat certain hamburgers it is possible to have an in-n-out of body experience

Drawing of a man feeling kinda vulnerable eating a large cookie in the Panera parking lot

Today I was eating a large cookie in my car in the parking lot of a Panera and someone walking by pointed at me and yelled “you’re eating that cookie!” I don’t know how to feel about this

Bully: give me your lunch money Me: do you take venmo

My gravestone will read I WISH I’D OPTED IN TO MORE WEBSITE COOKIES TO BETTER PERSONALIZE MY ADVERTISING EXPERIENCE

☀️

Production assistant

The dog was on cozy levels that made it almost impossible to get up this morning

It seems like a missed opportunity that the word palindrome isn’t the same forwards and backwards

It’s 2008. You find an image of an upright cat jumping through the air. It says INVISIBLE BIKE at the bottom. You save it & laugh at it for weeks. It’s 2025. A man goes viral splashing Saratoga water on his face. The next day your grocery store moves the Saratoga to a front display. You are tired

This is where special effects peaked

If you live near an ikea I can’t stress how much calm a djungelskog can bring to your life

What if you were at spa getting a relaxing facial and all of the sudden the esthetician pulled away from your face and said “got your nose”

Dog on carpet samples, c. 2025

Sometimes Apple will highlight a podcast I’ve had some very small hand in, and I’m always happy to see that. Today however is the first time in a while that they put one I actually did some real work on at the top of the page. I’m proud of everyone who worked hard on it

Sleep debt is so lame. Oh, now there are consequences for staying up late watching videos of someone lovingly restoring little model cars? Get real

Spotify just told me I like doof doof music. Nothing is real

The dog was very relatable this morning

Sunshine dog time

Is it true that people can do this?

Shout out to autocorrect for doing some real heavy lifting every time I type unforutanely. I mean unfrotunaetly. I MEAN unfortunately

Last night while cooking I dropped my beloved left earbud into a saucepan of delicious soy glaze. It will be remembered fondly

Do you eat your bagel as a sandwich or one half at a time? I feel like my mind sees two separate halves as more food

Very sad that George Lowe, the voice of Space Ghost, has passed. Few things had more impact on my sense of humor as a kid than that weird, wonderful show. I went back and watched one of my favorites where they recreated bits from previous episodes with local Atlanta area actors. It still holds up

He does not deserve tariffs

At least the light sometimes hits in such a way that there are little rainbows in the house

Starting to worry that I’ve heard every possible snare drum sound at this point in my life

Few things look more content than a dog in the sun

I bet the studio was absolutely wild on the day they recorded the Monster Mash. I bet the producer was losing his mind over how much it ruled

My wife asked me today the name of the sad man from the 90s that I like to listen to. That did not narrow it down

my newspaper is about two things: free speech and only allowing certain opinions to be voiced

Second day of the year back on the bike, first day in shorts and short sleeves, just saw a smiling dad pushing his kid on a swing. Wishing you the best afternoon you can possibly have

If 10 year old me asked current me what 2025 was like, I’d try to give him a fairly vague yet positive spin on as many small things as possible. If he pressed me for specifics, I’d probably break down and say an indecipherable but true string of words like “microsoft paint has an ai paywall now”

I’ve heard that pets appreciate it when you take part in their interests, so I try to spend a couple of minutes every day staring out the window with the dog

One of the sweetest things is when the dog is all cozy on the couch and gets up to come lay in her bed in the kitchen and watch me load the dishwasher

Testing

I keep forgetting my reusable bags at the grocery store and have started making a game out of how many items I can carry out in my arms like a very specific stock photo titled ‘silly stressed man’

I highly recommend checking out @goodjudypods.bsky.social and considering becoming a backer ✨

Me: the small screen in my hand leaves me in a state of constant despair, I fear Wizard: have you considered trading it in for a respectable orb

Hey bro. It’s Adobe, bro. Thanks for opening Photoshop, bro. Don’t you want to save your file to the cloud, bro? Pleeease? You can trust us, bro! Dude you gotta try this AI thing we added that sucks. Come on dude, just try our new feature that sucks 😔

I looked up when Spotify got rid of their inbox feature and it was eight years ago