The fact that xfinity went to the trouble to trademark the phrase "The wifi is booming" reveals a lot about the current state of marketing and advertising.

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself encased in a chocolatey crunchy candy-licious shell.

Margaret Dumont: Be a dear and hold me close. Groucho: Be a deer and grow some antlers.

L-Word Demon Hunters M. Ward Demon Hunters N’Sync Demon Hunters O-face Demon Hunters Pee Tape Demon Hunters Qdoba Demon Hunters R. Crumb Demon Hunters and so on like that

It’s fun to live in an era when movies ask the question “haha, wow. What if this really happened? Could you even?”

When he just suddenly keels over, all the headlines will say “but wait, he said he was so healthy”

Last week’s events confirmed that Coldplay is music for CEOs.

"Get notified when someone posts?" Mister, I don't even wanna know when I post.

Aside from Seattle, are there any other place names where the first syllable sounds like a letter and the remaining syllables when combined with that letter form an unrelated word? (Seattle = C + attle = cattle)

I can open the garage at my workplace from the comfort of home via my telephone, and vice versa.

I bet it’s hard to be friends with someone named Alek because I bet you’d always be like “shouldn’t it just be Alex??”

omg no Peggy

Victor Mature responded to this with a "so's your old man!"

I sat by Eddie Deezen at a busstop at Olive Ave and Buena Vista in Burbank, CA in 1996.

I had half a Cuban sandwich today that tasted like sweat but I didn’t mention it because the person buying lunch had the same thing and didn’t comment and in fact ate the whole thing

Jimmy crack corn and I care deeply.

Yesterday at the store with my kids someone was cursing and swearing about Andor and I had to be like “hey! Don’t talk about Star Wars around my children, asshole.”

I do not give facebook dot com permission to access my skyrim save files or to cheese alteration by shooting a light at a mountain repeatedly

When the Sesame Street vampire and his clone asked me which member of the Addams Family I was hiding in my garage, I was forced to admit “Itt’s what’s inside that, Counts.”

Boy howdy. Gilly enamel pins are back!

My wife found this on the beach.

I Dated a Robot, the Futurama episode that briefly parodies All in the Family, aired 24 years ago — a mere 22 years after All in the Family ended.

remember liartown?

super happyman day

social media, am I right?

space monster Katy Perry

A few years ago I redrew the Fantastic Four poster that once hung in my childhood bedroom.

Incoming mail from @adamkoford.com ✉️

I didn't have people still making jokes about bingo cards on my ouija board.

drive inn ice cream sign, rt. 54b, eldon, missouri, 1980

I'm reading a book with an adhesive cover and I cannot put it down

Happy 860th birthday to Francis Ford Coppola, born on this day in 1165.

Whenever I throw on Strange Mercy, I say I’m “in da St. Vincent malaise”

I can remember two very important moments in my life when I was completely distracted by a misaligned seam in the toe of my sock.

"Gerry we told you to stop doing that."

I’ve taken to casually calling the folks in the IT department “scoundrels,” and I hope it sticks.

Sure the desk is tiny, but everyone knows the credenza is where the magic happens.

I miss the tiny desk concerts where the person was still right there working, trying to be productive right in the middle of a performance.

today’s the day

It feels so good to shave my head down to nothing. "Take that, idiot hairs," I whisper.

I've had the account for well over a decade, but I'm finally getting into pinterest www.pinterest.com/adamkoford/

I hate how transactional the relationship has become between me and my credit union.

giraffes, am I right?

A great way to cause some fun problems! Play lefty protest songs in a deep red bar.... www.tiktok.com/@divine.femi...

@austinburns.bsky.social was that your field recording on EPM?

I’m very proud of myself for all the Academy Awards I won tonight.

Seething, unbridled rage at the general state of things vs. new premium streaming television episode reactions.