Nononono, we should ask Werner Herzog

Cool, now we're doing snow and thunder at the same time. I assume the rain of toads will start any minute.

My alma mater: What can we do to get you to donate to us? Me: I dunno, maybe go back in time and don't teach me about systems of oppression in which you are actively complicit? And, while you're at it, make me believe that you give a single fuck about students?

Hurrah, my first outdoor drinking day of the year.

My partner firmly believed he was inoculated against chicken pox because he had already had goose bumps. Today that sounds like some kind of fringe antivax position, but no, just kid logic.

Finally saw Chess and am apparently now going to have Endgame in my head forever. Also Nicholas Christopher is amazing, holy hell.

I! Am on! A train!!! I just really love train travel, y'all.

Oh fun, Amtrak's entire booking system is down. 🫠

Things I am supposed to this evening: Dinner with parents Things I want to do this evening: Sleep.

Did the results always match what I wanted? No. Yet this was still infinitely better than anything that happened in Beijing where the mood was insurmountably awful. Here’s hoping 2030 can continue the upwards trend. But who will take the selfies?🥲 #milanocortina2026 #figureskating

How convenient, a bathroom break in between Ilia's program and Mikhail's. Too bad nobody won the gold medal in ice dance this year. #figureskating

Look, I can admit when I was wrong. #figureskating

There should be a bonus medal for dropping a perfect f-bomb faster than the NBC censors can catch it

The real problem with figure skating and speed skating sharing a rink is not the ice quality. The real problem is the padded boards. They prevent Kaori's coach from properly launching her onto the ice, which is an important ritual. #figureskating #MilanoCortina2026

As always, torn between my general dislike of Miss Saigon and my undying love for Lea Salonga. Tangentially related: Why on earth do so many people skate to the movie version of Les Mis when the OBCR and the 10th anniversary concert versions are right there? #figureskating

Confession: I loved Kimmy Repond from the first time I saw her Wednesday gala program, but for some reason I had a hard time remembering her name. So in my head she is and will always be Bambi, because at the time she was all legs and eyes. (She is still mostly legs, girl is *tall*)

Where's a butt of Malmsey wine when you need one?

TIL that Paul Poirier was the flower girl at Piper Gilles' wedding, and I could not possibly be more delighted by this knowledge. #figureskating

A treasure from the 90s. #KurtBrowning #FigureSkating youtu.be/JXtd7xq7URM?...

Sorry for being saccharine on main but... What I really I want for the women's event is a Mean Girls prom moment where someone breaks the gold medal into pieces and gives everyone a chunk. #figureskating

The Olympic women's short program is today, and this is my preview / reminder for those who may be wondering what happened since the last Olympics. At the last Olympics, as many of you know, the breathless talk of the commentators was about women doing quad jumps! Wow! Amazing!

Riku and Ryuichi winning gold has fixed me. #figureskating

Have I missed figure skaters or coaches or anyone actually affiliated with the figure skating events complaining about ice conditions? I had assumed it was just conjecture by viewers who were reaching to explain the number of falls, but now I'm seeing it asserted as fact.

Campaign for @rockerskating.com to reveal if anyone chose Mikhail Shaidorov for gold. If so, I move to declare that person an oracle and present them with offerings in the future. I'll bring the wine but I'm gonna need someone else to supply the bulls. #figureskating

Just looked at Rocker Skating Live, and apparently I chose Mikhail for bronze. I have no memory of doing this, I can only assume I was drunk or in some kind of fugue state post free dance.

idk whose idea it was to hold a men’s figure skating competition on Friday the 13th when your average men’s competition is like watching 24 nervous, skittish horses fighting for their lives at the best of times

Maybe the real winners today were the 5 men who didn't qualify. And the people who have never heard of figure skating.

Also, can we make sure Amber Glenn didn’t see that, never sees that, and is shielded from these results until she’s done skating? #MilanoCortina2026

Tfw you find out that your father has been regularly using Grok. 😱

Because I feel compelled to defend the honor of loveable weirdos: The asshole French ice dance team are Fournier Beaudry/Cizeron. They skated to Madonna and The Whale. The French ice dance team who skated to Daft Punk and Björk are Lopareva/Brissaud. #figureskating #MilanoCortina2026

Reupping this for no particular reason. I am *so angry.*

full on ugly snort-laugh here from an NJ transit veteran

If you're a casual viewer wondering why so many ice dance fans despise the top French team, here you go. Cw for sexual assault.

Adaaaam!!! 😭😭😍😭 I'm so relieved. #figureskating

Kevin Aymoz Judas is what homophobes think all men's figure skating is (complimentary) #MilanoCortina2026

Surya Bonaly is actually interviewed in my piece about the history of the backflip. Why it was banned, why it came back, and its connection to race and politics in a political sport: wapo.st/4tnBhrr #suryabonaly #figureskating #olympics2026 #iliamalinin

I'm not saying that I think Madi and Piper *should* team up to commit a crime. I just think that *if they did* they'd be really good at getting rid of the bodies or making it look like an accident. They are both smart, talented, very intense women who can do whatever they put their minds to. ⛸️

I am compelled to say this at least once a season, so here it is: No one has ever been as committed to sparkle motion as Piper Gilles, and I love that about her so much. Peak theater kid energy. #figureskating

Holy fuck, I haven't taken a full breath since I saw the look on Amber's face after her skate. Cause you *know* if the US had lost by one point, she would have decided it was entirely her fault. Like, watching her try to sink into the stands next to Danny after Shun's skate almost killed me.

Something getting lost in the backflip discourse is that Ilia isn't responsible for the backflip revival. French skater Adam Siao Him Fa is, and iirc he has acknowledged Surya Bonaly as an influence. Here's more or less what happened: #figureskating #MilanoCortina2026

She was so moved that she wants to get back into skating (hasn't watched since childhood) and has asked me to catch her up on lore. Someone send me one of those elaborate ice dance entanglement charts stat.

For anyone who is just seeing the Chock/Bates free dance for the first time: Yes, you did just watch a program where she is a matador and he is a bull. Yes, they are the team that did the program where she was an extraterrestrial and he was an astronaut at the last Olympics. #figureskating

One of my very best friends, who has had a very rough year (even by 2025/and 26 standards), is texting me from the stands of the figure skating events today and I could not be happier about the situation. 😭

Look, if any of y'all want me to get out of your mentions for the next couple of weeks, feel free to tell me to shut up. I'm about to go fully feral.

My partner and I were discussing what Disney characters we were most like, and it occurs to me that I am 100% Klucky and proud of it.

Sorry to all my fellow queers who just found out Bari Weiss is gay in this particular way.

Schadenfreude as a service?

My partner is marinating eggs, so naturally I am making him watch Bigger Than Before.

Trying to decide which is funnier, a teenager skating to Send in the Clowns or With One Look. #4contsfigure