A small boy arrived at my nephew's party with a Thomas the Tank Engine face and number on accessorised with a witches hat and a sword. Ready for every eventuality.

Sometimes only kabanos will do.

Also fuck the nasty little racists who are starting their nasty little racist walk just by work tomorrow. I'm not in but I've just had to send a warning email to my lovely multiethnic and multi religious volunteers.

Is it time to go home yet?

This train is the first time I've been cosy warm all blooming day.

Had enough today. When can I return to my bed?

Oh now. Look at these lovely things

Spectacular colleague Jeff has just had to explain to one of my younger colleagues what to do with the empty milk bottles. I may crumble into dust.

Finally got to Frank's, as seen on Pulp Common People. Excellent granary cob.

Good morning, today I will mostly be shoving my foot in my mouth.

Also I went onto Instagram earlier as they've temporarily lifted the required "pay or let us sell your data" restriction and it was a bit like coming back into the sunlight after a long winter. First 2 people I saw were my sister in law and my cousin - turns out the latter has sold her house.

I'm finding it easier to tweet something negative and moany and I'm currently trying to work out why. It's either because everything is negative and I want to moan about it, or I'm a moany sort of a person. Possibly both?

Himself has taken suitably zombified our lady and mistress to the vet for her arthritis jab (so floppy)and I'm in the house entirely on my own for the first time in a very long time and it's weird.

Sigh. I am not to be trusted with arrangements for my own diary. Unfortunately, this may be expensive for work.

We have a very exciting opportunity for someone to become our new Community Partnerships Curator! You'll lead on the co-creation of a major public exhibition, exploring and reimagining Britain’s relationship with displaced communities. Find out more and apply: jobs.reading.ac.uk/tlive_webrec...

I NEED to post about the absolute madness that the Guardian perpetrated to mark its 30,000th cryptic crossword. Namely: * the cryptic crossword itself, which pointed to: * a hidden message in the quick crossword, which pointed to: * an editorial about cryptic crosswords, with …

I'm really not having a lot of luck with the trains this week.

Want very much to vague tweet about something from this afternoon but it's too difficult to do so it remains properly anonymous and I legally have to not talk about the wider context so there's that. Sorry. It's been eating away at me. I probably need to drink more water.

The WiFi cut out just in time then. #totp

Currently trying to work out how these footballers manage to kick balls and not knee themselves in the face. I've never seen such a display of uncoordination. #totp

This is a truly appalling episode of #totp

Very much enjoying looking at the crowd dancing in the background #totp

Greens got Waltham Forest which is interesting.

Watford declared. Remains LibDem, which is fine. Fucking reform at over 900 seats elsewhere though. Jesus.

I had a grand morning with a certain @jaffne.bsky.social and sibling, boring on about the museum and eating an extremely generous lunch.

Busted out "kind regards"

Snorbs still LD. Thank fuck.

Fucksake 600+ reform councillors? Make them fucking work for it. They want to be in power - hold them accountable. Annoying local stuff - what are they doing about it.

It's a strange day when I'm relieved to see a Tory win. Mind you, they're batshit at the moment.

Trains are still buggered up from last night, luckily I didn't believe the train times saying my train was 10 minutes late which was just as well because it skipped a load of stations and was almost on time.

Is everyone fucking insane? Map with a lot of turquoise so far. Are we going to be Italy to America's Germany?

Did a vote.

We have a bird on our bird feeder! It's only taken 3 months.

Forgot my headphones 😭

I have slept for about 11 hours and could do with some more.

Gave up and went to bed about half an hour ago. It's all a bit much, frankly.

With everyone talking about museum engagement today we just wanted to add this: We get just under 25,000 visitors to the Hall annually. We have 13,700 friends here. This is massive for us. So to you all following - thank you! 😍

Stress cleaned the bedroom carpet of cat fur last night. Could make a whole nother cat of resulting fur mountain.

We might be going OTT but the point is serious. It's tough for everyone at the moment, museums and cultural institutions are finding it particularly challenging. All we can do, if we are permitted is to keep sharing our histories and to hopefully bring some joy. Love you @romanpalace.bsky.social

Stressful situation continues. Treating brain yips with early morning 1994 Prodigy. Surprisingly effective.

After trying on about 500 quid's worth of bras I've concluded that none of them fit and I'm still in my tatty 10 year old ones. They all cut in painfully into my armpits. I don't know what to do.

I want to do a strangle. Honestly, this person.

Send help - I have no caffeine or crisps and I neeeeeeed them.

Did a hard yoga class today and have been outrageously exhausted since. Pity it was at 9.30 this morning.

Today's loaf of bread. Baking bread brings me such joy, I can't tell you. I stopped for such a long time and it's so good to be back.

Chickpeas ☺️

And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came!

We've been in bed for ages. May have overdone the walking today. 😳

We went to see bluebells. We saw and stood in front of many bluebells. (And shouted at someone who was standing on the bluebells.)

Fuck Amazon www.vittlesmagazine.com/p/once-queen...