the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches

Big props to the Democratic response so far, you’re really making my posts shine bsky.app/profile/bemo...

Me to the under-35s outraged that the US military arrested a sitting president in Latin America under the pretense of drug smuggling charges

Hooray first war crime of the year hooray hooraaay

As we enter this, an election year, remember that voting in the same feckless Democrats year after year is how we got into this mess.

CHEERS to past me, thanks for sorting the black-eyed peas in advance, that's tedious but important work. JEERS to past me for not pre-chopping the vegetables, bleary-eyed knife work isn't the safest approach.

Let's hope 2026 is the year that I can finally forget this commercial existed and lay my weary head to rest www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oGF...

I corrected a rando who made a joke about how Hydrox were a knockoff of Oreo (it’s actually y the other way around), and added a bonus correction about the misnomer that the Jonestown massacre was done with Flavor Aid, not Kool-Aid. Some people hate facts, I guess. bsky.app/profile/wapp...

I'm sorry, do I want a what? A MOCKtail? Look sir, you are free to joke about all of the good work they've done over the years, but leave me out of it.

Share a great femal villain bsky.app/profile/jack...

Y’all might not appreciate it, but it took him 87 moves and 14 hours to get here

Driving that sleigh, high on cocaine, Santa Claus you better watch your speed Bumble ahead, Bumble behind And you know that Yukon has lost his mind

Sick and filled with ennui, having grits and eggs about it

He sees you when you’re sleeping He knows when you’re awake This voyeuristic piece of shit Has a thirst he cannot slake.

arsenic poisoning may kill a lot of people, but it also helped Victorian artists create batshit insane Christmas cards, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not, bsky.app/profile/leas...

I wonder how many of the Luigi jurors are going to get a premium hit in January

Buck Rogered. bsky.app/profile/comi...

RIP to Anthony Geary, almost certainly best known for playing Philo in UHF

After weeks of neglect, my beard has entered the phase I call "Scottish Farmer Who Refuses To Sell Land To Developer And Is Found Dead Just Before The 'Vera' Credits Roll"

Your annual reminder that a cappella is not a magic act, and the reason Pentatonix performs without a band is that they are so irredeemably lame and annoying that even the most desperate and destitute musicians don’t want to be associated with them.

Liked making A Walk Among The Tombstones so much he wants every stroll to have plenty of bsky.app/profile/walk...

Broke: Adapting a britcom for US audiences, poorly Woke: Adapting the spinoff of a britcom as a spinoff of your US adaptation of the original britcom, abysmally bsky.app/profile/sitc...

I hope he goes full Method actor and gives himself COVID-19 43 times bsky.app/profile/theg...

HBD to cooking-beans-in-the-can-over-a-fire-barrel aficionado Tom Waits www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Fju...

I don’t know why everyone is bagging on the new academy show poster, I think it looks good

I don’t use a streaming music service, so I have to do my own Unwrapped… I listened to a shitload of podcasts this year. Also the Lyle Lovett discography over two days. And for reasons only known to the æther, all three volumes of the Star Trek TOS Soundtrack. Might’ve been depressed that day.

Honestly, being unable to stay awake in a conference while a cohort of dipshits blather on about how hard they work is the most relatable thing I’ve seen from Shitler in a long time.

@profanity.accountant How many times have I used the Lord’s name in vain? A million six?!?! jesus fucking christ

The guy shot two random people with a gun, I don't think you can say he wasn't assimilating into our culture

The most satisfying part of Thanksgiving is under way* *making the cranberry sauce and making sure to squoosh the stubborn ones against the side of the pot

Flags are bits of colored cloth that governments use first to shrink-wrap people's brains and then as ceremonial shrouds to bury the dead. -Arundhati Roy

Your occasional reminder that guillotines are carbon neutral by design, and if used on the correct subset of c-suite denizens and world leaders, can actually reduce emissions. As a plus, some of those countries already practice regular beheadings, so it wouldn't be culturally disruptive.

Grocery store is taking donations for the local food bank and buddy you know I jumped right into that anonymity loophole. Take my money and leave me out of it, I’m a donor not a pen pal.

In its meandering across the Galaxy since it became a star 5 Gyr ago, the Sun temporarily finds itself passing through a cavity in the interstellar evacuated by a chain of supernovae 15 Myr ago. Isotopes from those blasts have been detected in deep ocean crusts. bsky.app/profile/coli...

That’s right, autocorrect, I was definitely putting sewer potatoes on the shopping list.

CONFIRMED: Pope Leo is a big fan of mid-2000s soft-core-adjacent HBO series TELL ME YOU LOVE ME bsky.app/profile/scon...

Who needs a hobby Like tennis, or philately? I've got a hobby: Rereading Lady Chatterley.

I can’t believe that orange nazi pederast outlived the goddam penny

This is the first time in years I’ve been interested in reading an email.

Coming soon to a country near me bsky.app/profile/en.a...

Nothing underlines the absolute fuckitude of the US health care system like the millions of man-hours spent in annual company open enrollment meetings. (Coincidentally today was our open enrollment meeting)

Well well well if it isn’t the Blowjob Senators

ice cubes are ridiculous. like yeah lemme just get a piece of water

I love my country too much to be a nationalist. -Albert Camus

Word of the Day is ‘catchfart’ (17th century): an obsequious individual who sucks up to the boss and always follows the political wind.

If the sub didn't split, you must acquit: defector.com/if-the-sub-d...

Victory feels good, but if this guy goes Obama 2.0 I’m going to join the Abraham Lincoln Brigade 2.0

Just making it easier to find for the Hobbyist Lobbyist bsky.app/profile/ones...