The players in our Night's Black Agents game would not stop joking in the group chat about our characters going to Disneyland while on a mission in Tokyo. Which is why we are now fighting a dhampir through the Haunted Mansion.

Expectation: Wear paper crane necklace, feel cute & move on with life Reality: Wear paper crane necklace, feel cute & have @tmbg.bsky.social's "They'll Need a Crane" stuck in my head for the next week

Accused of min/max-ing my #dnd character simply because he was a bladesinger. Excuse me, I made him bad on purpose and am deeply offended that anyone would suggest that any PC of mine was good at their job

Gave myself murder mystery tonal whiplash by watching"Sheep Detectives" and "Last Night in Soho" back to back

Finally getting around to doing the #Endwalker MSQ in #FFXIV and wondering if this expansion came with a "Do Not Consume If Prone to Existential Crisis" warning, or if people just had to find out on their own and then go about their business like everything was fine

Elevator was out (again) at the MAX stop yesterday. Random guy and I stopped to help carry a dude's wheelchair while he dragged himself up the stairs to street level. Feels deeply messed up that there were no #Trimet staff around to assist (yet always seem to have omnipresent security)

There's an overripe banana in the fridge at work, and now my brain won't stop singing "It's that ethylene" to the tune of Methamphetamine by Old Crow Medicine Show

I hate that expression "it costs nothing to be kind" it costs everything to be kind. you have no incentive to be compassionate. it will almost certainly inconvenience you, maybe even ruin your life, that's why it's such a swashbuckling way to live

Strip mall parking lots on Saturday morning are eerily reminiscent of sharks on the hunt

Learned how to drill holes in glass today and now I feel unstoppable. Building a #terrarium from scratch for my hermit crabs is deeply satisfying. They are going to be so happy when it's done

Had my first #FFXIV nightmare last night. Accidentally tanking Orbonne, and my keyboard went out during Cid, so my character just ran in random directions with stance off while everyone died around me. How embarrassing.

Seeing Speed Racer in #IMAX was a religious experience

The greatest gift your #dnd players can give you as a DM is a genuinely horrified "What the fuck is THAT?!" when encountering the messed up little details on the dungeon map you made ❤️

Taking a moment to appreciate what a truly bizarre song Rock Lobster is and that it still gets regular play on the radio

we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫

If I ever run an underwater campaign you can be sure as heck there will be an octopus NPC arms dealer

Happy birthday to one of my favourite haters, Charles Darwin

I deserve a gold star for keeping a straight face during a 401K training at work and not once saying my retirement strategy was to tax billionaires into oblivion to fund UBI until we can destroy the entire capitalist nightmare system

Really bums me out how many of the small #dice makers I follow have left the business due to income instability from tariffs and/or the general economic clusterfuck that has been covid and beyond. I would buy all the math rocks if I could

so much clothing is marketed as "conversation starters" but as an introvert, i want "conversation enders." no more talking. let me go home.

Dental hygienist did not know how to respond when I described something as "makes my teeth unhappy"

New girl scout cookie flavor is kind of gross. They're supposed to be rocky road, tastes more like stale Trader Joes's knock-off oreos. What a bummer.

I have been informed that it's not a common experience to have a group chat with your friends where you just send each other pictures of dead things you find

abolish ice is the moderate position to be honest. whichever candidate promises to nuremberg the ice agents has my vote at this point

Does Baba Yaga's house make little houses? Are there tiny, adorable chicken-footed cottages running around behind a bigger house somewhere in the forest?

"You shouldn't make art for the money" buddy I'll take it one step further and say we shouldn't have to labor for capital at all but in the meantime pay an artist

I find so many cool mushrooms in the mornings on my walk to work. My kingdom for a website where I can just submit a picture and go, "yo, can I eat this?"

I was reading a book on phosphorus and had to put it down because I got too angry at capitalism

Bless her heart, Stranger Danger thought Diabolos at the end of the Dun Scaith raid in #FFXIV was a bird and kept batting at the screen trying to catch him. She may be a pretty cat, but she certainly isn't a smart one.

Group chat is currently having a Socratic debate categorizing clothing into "pocket" or "tube". I love these goobers

If Bruce Banner multiclassed into rogue, he could rebrand as "The Incredible Skulk"

Partner: So, explain to me why you needed to buy the expensive aquarium soil? Me: Because it's...um....*long pause while trying, and failing, to remember the word "enriched"* Because it's flavor-blasted for plants?

All I can say is that if this is how painful it is to get shingles, it's a good thing houses can't scream

Thinking lately about how #ttrpg GMs add their own little nerdy flair to homebrew settings and it's entirely charming. Like, I have a DM who always adds tons of bureaucracy and a bunch of linguistics, and my own players know they're going to get complex monster ecosystems wherever they travel.

I don't think I've ever wanted a set of dice so badly in my goblin hoarder life

"I guess every dagger is a murder dagger if you use it right." --wisdom from our #dnd campaign

If I had a dollar for every time I set up a phone interview and the candidate forgot to disable the "straight to voicemail" setting I could probably buy myself a nice bar tab.

I think my favorite thing about creating a bioactive vivarium for my hermit crabs is that when I open it up to feed them it smells like forest

Saw a sign while walking downtown for "Victor's mole ribs" and was horribly disappointed when I realized it was referring to the sauce and not the tiny, furry mammal

crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their consultants

I have taken to voicing majestic animals like pegasus with increasingly ridiculous voices during my ttrpg sessions and let me tell you, the satisfaction of seeing the player reactions is *chef's kiss*

Had a dream that I was at a Belgian waffle taco bar and now I am low-key obsessed with making this actually happen

'Tis the season of me singing "mangonada" to the tune of Mas Que Nada and driving everyone around me crazy as I sip my fruity beverage

There's a lot of garbage happening in the world right now, but this morning it was gorgeous and sunny as I walked to work and it's moments like that which help keep the Despair at bay

Saw "Sinners" last night, which was very good, but now I keep thinking the phrase "evil stepdancing" and laughing to myself

Rolled two Nat20s with disadvantage during today's #dnd session. For my next trick I will be dethroning god.

Opened a bag of chips and about 75% were crushed, so I just poured them in a bowl and am eating them with a spoon because we no longer live in a society. All is permitted. Nothing is sacred.