Very drunk

Crazy puppies

Maybe if I just keep rereading Great Expectations things will get better.

Hello Mr. Leopold, I’m Zach, a high school journalist. I just published an exclusive investigation into how 193 Trump donors funneled $2M through Guam, raising quid pro quo and campaign finance concerns. Would be grateful if you gave it a look or shared it: open.substack.com/pub/zachkahn...

At the vet with my monster. She once got a behavior note in her file during a pandemic drop-off appointment, so I’m feel like I’m always trying to prove she’s really the best behaved angel in the world (she’s not).

brad lander primary chuck schumer

Just drunk ordered Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s book about WW2 black tank soldier people I think I’m doing pretty good

Fucking thankful today I got the hell out of public education and chose to home school my kid. Today we discussed the connection between the US’s interference in South American politics and our current immigration issues. I ended the lesson by declaring bananas the poisoned fruit of capitalism.

Gen X: get that titers test to check for measles immunity.

I dug up all the info and created this little number for all you folks... let's go make some noise for @chuckschumer.com shall we? #NEVERSURRENDER #PRIMARYHIM #RAISEYOURVOICE

I know there’s a lot going on, but kid was closing pitcher and threw strikes, leading us to a 5-3 win for our opener. Also, charge your crystals babies. That moon is BIG.

I am about to make a joke: Should we just do a January 6? Seemed to work out fine for the other side. That is the end of my completely not serious joke.

Rohan is a 13-year-old from the Pacific Palisades whose family lost their home and most of their belongings in the Palisades fire, including their treasured book collection. In the midst of his own grief, this amazing young man decided to help others. #kidlit #booksky #writingcommunity

I miss the Epcot twitter account.

Zuck looks like a dude who just got fired from the Petsense for “messing with” the lizards and has taken to FB to announce he’s starting a car detailing business as soon as he gets “some buckets and shit.”

If only the complete inability of Republicans to do the work they were elected to do mattered to voters. It’s January 3. Americans are putting away Christmas decorations, cleaning leftovers out of the fridge, and lining up to make Amazon returns at the UPS store. Most people aren’t paying attention.

I dunno guys. Maybe he’ll die. Just like get his hand caught in the ball return in the White House bowling alley and bleed to death. Or lean over the balcony to see if there’s a bologna sandwich stuck in a tree and fall and break his neck. Or stuff himself into a dumbwaiter for a bet and suffocate.

I think they’re called Cran Royale. Anyway, I had two and then just cranberry juice and vodka because I gave my third Cran Royale to my mom. I’m the absolute best.

My husband bought his parents new TVs for Christmas and basically gave them all something new to argue about.

It’s cool to be drunk at 2 pm right?

I will never care about aliens.

Should I live skeet this youth sports banquet?

It’s my birthday. On my second glass of wine. Husband is yelling at our parents that insurance companies shouldn’t make profits. Talking Heads on the turntable. Not a bad night.

I thought my 16 year old might be over going to see A Christmas Carol with me year after year. But he insisted so here we are at the historic Dock Street Theater in Charleston, SC. Bah humbug!

We found this original piece of art in our rental car (a white Chrysler Pacifica) in Arizona last Sunday. We’d love to get it back to its owner!

We’ve been rewatching Parks and Rec and it’s so funny but boy did this show West Wing me about Joe Biden.

y’all, can I be serious and genuine for a second and share a nice wholesome moment from today?

One day I’ll pick up my phone to see a news alert that he is dead. 🙂

Breakfast drinking at The Junction

I hate to be a wet blanket, but can we not do Lindsay Graham gay jokes in 2024?

The RFK stuff bummed me out so I had a vodka tonic and bought a cocktail dress online.

The most important news of the day stop posting about anything else.

Anger at the Vet

Poll workin’ and have been thanked for my service several times. Nice but weird.

Everyone seems so weirdly hopeful here today. So I put the champagne in the fridge and didn’t cancel my Wednesday dentist appointment.

www.instagram.com/reel/DB7akXa... I’m becoming a real soap opera weirdo and feel great about my choices!

When you get up before 7am and sweat through two of your kid’s baseball games, you get pink beer.

I just make tshirts and sell them for basically no money. I just want them out there and it’s cheaper doing it this way and ordering proofs myself than it is to get shirts printed. jimnobu.threadless.com

How do other ladies do this every day? I can barely skeet!

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/p... Worth a listen for AOC at the end. Helped me feel a little better this morning.

Anyone wanna come to my

I’m so disappointed in today’s youth. Not a single no good punk teen has vandalized any of the trump signs in my neighborhood. When I was in high school, that shit would have been immediately destroyed.

Neighbors decided that today was the day to put up a TRUMP 2024 REVENGE TOUR banner across their front yard. When we drove passed my kid asked, “revenge against who?” Then he suggested we might want to take down our small Harris Walz campaign sign. I do not like this.

The Commanders are magic?