For my entire childhood I thought that all aquariums were as good as the one in Monterey. I had no idea it was a world treasure until I went to a different one and was just bummed out at how awful it was.

The cure for the male loneliness epidemic is to stop being an insufferable jackass. People will invite you to do stuff if they like being around you.

found the star of SXSW

How do Reavers clean their spears? They run them through the Wash.

!!!!! www.instagram.com/reel/DV6Js56...

4-0 BABY AMERICA IS A HOCKEY COUNTRY

People just give away busses for the cost of a beater sedan, and one of these days I'm going to buy one.

Whenever a journalist, a commentator, a professor, a tech executive or anyone else calls it the “Department of War,” they appease warmongering chauvinists. By law, the sole name of the Department of Defense is the Department of Defense. ...

[turns hat around] [sits in chair backwards] You know who else loved pwning libs? Jesus.

Holy smokes what a goal. This is going on the all-time highlight reel.

It's almost like electrifying the economy with batteries and renewables might have other benefits beyond that woke "let's not kill the planet" nonsense.

Pitch an unnecessary sequel American Beauties

Absolutely incredible to read the "we're sorry, we'll do better" article on the very same day the place gets locked out of their building for not paying rent. www.kut.org/business/202...

Sanity check: if there are mines in the Strait of Hormuz, no tanker is going through for month(s) after the fighting ends, right? Markets take a long time to recover from shocks, so that borks global energy markets on the scale of probably years? How long does it take a mine to drift out of the sea?

I wish today was one of those days where I woke up to a rainstorm and then stayed in bed all morning.

Blood for the Blood God is correct, but in practice the Fingertip Throne is really more of a beanbag chair.

Everything is stupider and suckier than it was yesterday, I'm gonna make cookies.

I'll say this, it's nice of him to wear his most dignified baseball cap (now available for the low low price of $55) to meet the corpses of soldiers killed in Iran. And before you bury your dead child in one, you can wash it in super hot water and get it really clean because these colors don't run.

Guys I braved the horror of other social media and I think he's turning into Eugenics Levy.

DID BEN SHAPIRO STEAL DAVID ELLISON'S EYEBROWS AND WEAR THEM LIKE LEATHERFACE WHY DID RIGHT WING EYEBROWS SUDDENLY GET WEIRD I AM UNPREPARED FOR THIS

Wait are Ben Shapiro's new eyebrows real or are people taking the piss please someone tell me I am having a very difficult year this week and cannot endure the kind of psychic damage that checking The Daily Wire causes

As “baby animal” season starts at various “farm” attractions during spring, this piece we wrote last year remains relevant. Remember these key questions you should ask about any animal encounter! woodstocksanctuary.s...

@housedemocrats.bsky.social @democrats.senate.gov we can never reclaim our democracy if you do not impeach him for this. What a fucking disgrace.

Islanders played dirty single A whaleshit hockey today. They should be ashamed of themselves.

He really will do anything to avoid getting a ring.

Is someone keeping a running list of J6ers who have committed more crimes since they were pardoned? There's the pedophile one, the other pedophile one, the goat fucker, the murderer, the other murderer, the pile of domestic abusers, the fraudster, I hope someone is keeping track.

Crazy how this just keeps happening over and over again. Damndest thing. Completely unforeseeable coincidence. www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...

Listening to the Texas comptroller candidate telling me how he's going to cut the rampant overspending and corruption in government and, my dude, y'all have been in control of government for 30 years running on this message, how could there possibly still be corruption and waste?

i am not generally a "go through the hoops to write a comment I don't think will really be read" kind of guy, but for a plan THIS bad, by a guy I hate THIS much... I'll make the exception

The chances I remain awake through the third period of the hockey game are slim and going down by the minute.

I have eaten all the bagels in my house but I still have salmon, which means it is once again time for me to fail at making bagels.

EXCUSE ME PLEASE ADMIRE THIS FLOOFY GOOSE

As a cullinarian, I have infinite respect for Thomas Keller as an artist and none as a member of the community. He is incredibly rich, incredibly privileged, and runs his restaurants on unpaid stages. Where are the people you're not paying supposed to live, Thomas? www.sfgate.com/bayarea/arti...

This is the one. The universe is cool, the lore is cool, no one needs to see Grandpa Fillion pretending he's still got it. Tell a new story.

Fucking hell even RFK is parroting this stupid "spiritual warfare" crap.

Sorry boss, I can't work, I'm watching Kristi Noem do a press conference and she doesn't know she's been shitcanned

I repeat, there is currently no such thing as "deextinction". Colossal is lying to you about what they're doing. The creatures they're trying to create aren't even faithful to what we know about extinct species. They might as well glue a horn to a horse and say they've deextincted a unicorn.

Charles Lindbergh built a plane with only one seat and flew alone to Paris because he heard Chotiner was visiting.

I was once impressed into the Turkish Army.

Hey, if you're feeling like life has passed you by and you're too old to start something new, remember that John Brown was 55 before he killed his first pro-slavery settler in the Kansas Territory. It's never too late to follow your dreams.

This sort of vile, unthinking, knee-jerk racism is unacceptable from anyone in public life.

A statistically unusual number of people telling me I'm going to burn in hell today seems like a possible indicator the Christian Nationalists are very in their feelings about yesterday's election news.

AYFKM HOW ARE WE EVEN CONSIDERING SENDING THIS CORRUPT PIECE OF SHIT BACK TO CONGRESS www.krgv.com/news/early-e...

Lol get fucked you losers. John Carter also sucks butts, but he sucks butts on a reactionary Christian scale and not, like, a "I once got arrested for physically abusing a sex worker" scale.

Turns out yes. www.afr.com/world/north-...

Hemant is, as usual, a voice of reason in a sea of crazy.

DALLAS AND WILLIAMSON COUNTY PEOPLE

Today is finally the day that Donald Trump truly became president of the United States.

I dragged myself out of bed at ass o'clock in the morning, but it's all worth it to be able to not witness the unfathomable beauty of the universe. Fuck you, the sky.

Texas-your statewide primary is Tuesday, March 3. Take two minutes to check what's on your ballot. Make your voting plan right now. Then share this video and push your circle to show up. Primaries shape the future. Let's not miss this one.