i’m actually kinda famous.

jesus emerging from the tomb on easter morning

Gay Guys on Easter after captioning their dick pics with “He Has Risen”

have you ever seen that movie Rosemary’s Baby starring Mia Farrow?

straight blonde coworker showed me her google search history

this feels like Eurosummer☀️

being gay is so fun because you get to spend all day being sexy and telling your friends how sexy they are

no one wants to get to know one another on sniffies anymore :,(

My Zara Larsson Fit 🩷🦋

was about to send a funny tweet to this guy but then remembered he ghosted me

there’s nothing that fascinates a straight woman more than the sex life of a gay man 🩷

10/10 Read. No Notes.

my memory may be slowly deteriorating, but i do NOT remember needing to wake up in the middle of the night to pee this much.

does anyone else pronounce it Wed-Nes-Day?

Being sick as a Brooklyn gay is torture; Every time i blow my nose, there’s snot in my mustache.

ex-situationship flirting with me while i’m sick, how do i make hacking up mucus sound sexy?

it’s been a while. i know i shouldnt have kept you waiting. but i’m here now.

I like to go out. Wear something nice. With bush.

but the thing is, you can’t use a half-loop stitch on China Silk; it’ll pucker.

Boost. That’s my Protein Boost.

just threw out my 3 year old loofah, and roomfmate informed me that you’re supposed to replace them every 6-8 weeks..

someone stole my credit card and charged a ton of Long Island Iced Teas at Le Bain. I will be pressing charges immediately. This is ridiculous. I’m not even gay.

selfie so good that hinge guy had to see it first <3

i want to be engaged but i don’t want to get married if that makes sense …

even long after its end, The Other Two still persists.

hungover as a house, but new underwear/speedos came so we’re cheering !!

i was so worried about having to invite the guy i was talking to to my birthday party (in 3 months) just for him to ghost me

Being the gay guy office hire is such an ego boost because i could wear the ugliest outfit imaginable and still get called fabulous by a blonde girl on the social team.

should i kms?

every top i’ve ever met has a full bakery of Entenmann’s Crumb Cake in the back

the only tillyverse i recognize

girl i’m bored, let’s go stream PinkPantheress and play with our pussies…

everything reminds me of him.

where can i get this necklace?

When a guy ghosts me, a million questions race through my mind. Was my personality too charming? My laugh too infectious? My bush too bushy?

:)

oomfs having real jobs is wild to me, like wdym you’re an accountant and not an out-of-work sculptor with a podcast where you dissect Lana Del Rey lyrics?

how much per pound? is it organic?

To Be Loved is To Be Edged.

now it’s like i’m looking in the mirror…

Hinge will tell you to “Take a Second Look” and it’s the med student who goes to your gym and ghosted you.

lowkey chaste and skinny as a cupboard OMG I have to stay alive

choosing “no” on the gay guy’s CF Consent Check because i love his bulge but hate his takes on season 2 of The Pitt

your biceps are huge. kiss me.

it’s snowing in brooklyn 🥰❄️

we as gay people get to choose who we bond over our eating disorders with.

im allergic to erythromycin

a Hinge Guy asked me what my first concert was and i had to type out “The Backyardigans Live at Madison Square Garden”

gay guys will find the most confusing ways to describe themselves because wdym you’re a Samantha Cosplaying as a Charlotte who thinks she’s a Carrie

Fidelity, Paul. It’s not just the name of a bank that sued me.