Back in May of 2011, I was sitting at a bar overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. I remember a Christian radio host, Harold Camping, predicting the end times at 6pm that evening. 6pm came around and the bar played Blondie’s ‘Rapture’. Brilliant scene; I’ll never forget it.

It would be darkly poetic if the man who squandered so many taxpayer dollars on golf were to die from a stroke.

I had a fever dream recently. One where a new constitution was being drafted right before our eyes. “They can’t do that,” I thought. But they didn’t care. They don’t care. They. Don’t. Care.

There’s no chill, and then there’s no Churchill…

Dear Grapefruit, You’re the least graped fruit I’ve ever met. Step up your grapiness or step aside. You’ve been coasting on the flavor of better fruits for too long. Get tasty, dammit.

Welles has done it again! Truly the Woody Guthrie/Pete Seeger of this moment. youtube.com/shorts/WhrHH...

RIP Mark Snow. variety.com/2025/tv/news...

That one person can drag us into a war without consulting or even notifying Congress, or our allies, or fully explaining to the American people why this is necessary, is absolutely bonkers. Reminder that Congress has the power to stop all of this. Where the hell are they? Hello?

World War 3 kinda sucks, but you know, it was either this or pronouns

Air India Flight 171 is now the deadliest crash with a sole survivor; it surpasses Northwest Flight 255, which also went down on takeoff. I still remember Aug 16, 1987: playing whiffle ball out front when the sky flashed red. Another heartbreaking day in modern aviation.

The legendary cheese-rolling races at Cooper’s Hill in Gloucester are happening right now. In one heat, Superman took first place… with the Flash finishing second. Yes, seriously. You can’t make this stuff up.

West Point grads got some rambling advice today on selecting a trophy wife after their second divorce from a draft dodger in a red campaign hat before he hauled ass to play golf.

For those of you who knew Victoria Brownworth on Twitter, she passed away from cancer yesterday. She was a fearless journalist who reported on AIDS in the 80s (when Reagan was ignoring it), lifted up the LGBTQ community, & rooted out corruption. Her wife, Maddy Gold, died of cancer in 2022.

In honor of it being Mother’s Day weekend here in the states, I thought I’d share a little something from the Mothers of Invention. #BreakingNews #ItsStillHappeningHere youtu.be/yEbjInR6irI?...

"Capitalism has entered a radical and apocalyptic phase. There is no utopian vision in any of this." Interview ⤵️

Notice the influx in blue cars post-1996? “You’re welcome.” - Dishwalla

ICE bursts in—no warrant, no warning. In the dark corner, lit only by a glowing cigar, sits the Old Man. They call him the Second Amendment. He leans forward, smirks, and says, “Funny… this ain’t how you figured it’d go, is it, boys?”

Urgent request to journalists: Please start talking about Stephen Miller — obviously the guy calling the shots in the White House. With enough of a spotlight on him, maybe he will be sidelined like Musk. @jonathanlarsen.bsky.social @jamellebouie.net @joshtpm.bsky.social @mehdirhasan.bsky.social

The Chelsea District Library's Midwest Literary Walk returns with Sarah Vowell, Angie Kim & Shelby Van Pelt on Saturday, April 12 in the city's charming downtown.                                             pulp.aadl.org/node/640794

Lately, I’ve found myself drowning in empty plastic sherbet containers. Tossing them feels like a betrayal of Mother Nature. If only there were a way to source my rainbow sherbet locally, straight from the unicorn’s teat.

It’s weird* that the president can just decide to put a huge tax on American businesses without congress even being a little bit involved. * very unconstitutional

China didn’t choose that “4” on accident.

Somewhere, someone’s thinking about it— A notion they never imagined to entertain. Yet here they are, patient and precise, Aligning each detail, ensuring the plan unfolds Exactly as it was envisioned. (1/7)

Somewhere, Someone open.substack.com/pub/chriscke...

"Have you even once thanked Hegseth for including you in the group chat?" - JD Vance, probably

Sometimes I wish I could just [Ctrl-Z] some points in life…

When a government fails its people, we have not just the right—but the duty—to change it. The system protects the elite, not us. I’m 48, and I’m done waiting for change. It’s time for something new. It’s time to break the cycle.

Ellen Reid should’ve fought for this to be either a single for CTD or on her solo album, Cinderellen. youtu.be/NuiTu1nUjb4?...

Kid in hospital: "...and Steph, can you do me a favor?" Steph: "Anything, kid." Kid: "Can you make a full court shot while demonstrating the Magnus effect on a basketball?" Steph: "No." Kid: "I understand." Steph: "I'll do it from the tunnel."

I'll tune into 'Love Is Blind' the moment they cast Randy Feltface.

To all the MAGA snowflakes who'll rush to report Ides of March memes to the FBI and Secret Service this weekend, just remember it's just an ancient Roman tradition.

Or maybe all of X headquarters is held together with duct tape.

Wilford Brimley was around 49 or 50 years old during the filming of Cocoon, and I turn 48 in a couple of weeks—I still can’t wrap my head around this fact.

Take a break and enjoy some reggae-infused SRV! 🔥 youtu.be/USbumHT0Iwc?...

It’s been a long day, but in short, bullies ain’t shit! I don’t care what title you hold! This isn’t some long gone reality tv show or failed casino; it is war! How dare a draft dodging dumb dupe humiliate an ally & berate a brave man who has actually been on a battlefield for his people?!

It is perfectly legal to know your rights and to educate others about them, too. EVERYONE in the United States, citizen or not, has rights. I will not allow this administration to intimidate us from helping you know about them. Here’s our shareable guide ⬇️: (pt. 1/2)

Sometimes the internet is just the best. I shared on Imgur that I found a stick during a walk and decided to keep it. After a few people asked to see it, I posted a picture—next thing I knew, it became a viral post! 😂

Oops 😬

Received a letter from POTUS today purporting to remove me as Commissioner and Chair of the FEC. There's a legal way to replace FEC commissioners-this isn't it. I've been so fortunate to serve the American people and stir up some good trouble along the way. That's not changing anytime soon.

@robthor.bsky.social ever considered bringing the Death in Paradise universe to US and Canada? I can see versions of it working in a unique way from the two povs w/ inspectors stationed in Michigan and Ontario. The cross-border dynamic could add an interesting layer to the storytelling.

We’re focused on feeding our kids. Investing in our schools. Making sure child care is affordable. Regardless of the chaos unfolding in Washington, we’re making Minnesota the best state for kids to grow up.

No shit, Schumer.

#aclu Defend the rights of all people nationwide With immigrant rights, trans justice, reproductive freedom, and more at risk, we’re in courts and communities across the country to protect everyone’s rights — and we need you with us.

OpenAI right now

33 years and counting: Next year will be the Bills vs Lions Super Bowl.

Jim Acosta announces on air that he's leaving CNN and says, "it is never a good time to bow down to a tyrant ... don't give in to the lies."

Colombia denied Donold’s deportation planes and he’s furious.