Fuckin governor “you don’t have to live like this” over here

A+ headline. defector.com/president-ex...

How long before the president posts a critique of the pope’s ratings?

A thing that is notable about this Trumpy Jesus thing is the degree to which cable news feels quite unconstrained in making relentless fun of him for it. That's (a) something that's been markedly absent from coverage of this second term and (b) gonna make him lose what's left of his shit.

Guys can the astronauts just run for president? Just like a co-president situation? Maybe not the Canadian one (sorry my guy) but the rest of them? It really just seems like it would solve all of the problems.

I’m not gonna spread Iranian propaganda or anything but I do think the latest Lego drop firmly establishes us as Drake in this particular conflict.

Karoline Leavitt's got a real "middle schooler who tries to bully the teacher" energy, huh?

Oh my god they ate our lunch and dinner. Fantastic work all around boys.

I think it’s funny that the likes of Alex Jones and Marjorie Taylor Greene are reacting with horror to what he said this morning. Like, yeah, guys, good morning, he’s been doing this same shit for years. Nobody else is even surprised.

“Ok, that’s a little much” — Hitler

Bro what the FUCK did all these idiots grow up rooting for the bond villains?

Hi if the space people are here, please stop making me cry, it is wrecking my stoic brand, k thx

"Hi Kids, welcome to the White House. Listen, we were double fucked this time last year (don't look up who was president) but now things are great, and you can get right the fuck out if you don't agree. Now let's find some fuckin eggs or whatever."

He started the fucking rumor so he could rise on Easter fucking Sunday, didn't he?

Everything Sucks is having a career year, y’all.

Anyone wondering when the MAGA Christian nationalists would start to eat their own, here ya go.

So we all agree it's Gabbard next, right? The women were there just to be conveniently tossed under the next passing express?

Anybody else wondering why we have a fucking government in the first place if we’re serving its needs instead of the other way around? No? Just me then?

What if weapons of mass destruction but presented by a moron?

Put it on the Fourth of July 250 banners

Karoline, quick follow up: Does the bunker lock from the outside and if not, can we add that feature?

I would like to announce that I am taking the bold and brave step of boycotting not only this World Cup but every world cup before and after it because of Trump and also I don't get men's soccer.

Obviously Lever, Ballot, Booth, and Frankenstein's Monster are all about voting in the US in 2026.

This ICE in airports thing is going to be a disaster, but it is top to bottom HIS disaster. Holding the line against his dumb shit ALWAYS works.

My large adult son Mixxtape is also based. He threw a table at Nobu when they wouldn’t make him “four chicken nuggets from McDonalds and three from Wendy’s.” He is thirty-five and next week I’m buying him CNN.

Earlier today, I heard a podcast about the Julius Caesar assassination in which I learned that he was the first Roman to mint coins with his portrait. For 300 years, no coin depicted a living person, just gods and historic figures. The coin was issued in 44 BC, the same year the Senate got stabby.

mind-boggling to me that i still have yet to see a single democrat utter the phrase “every republican president of your lifetime has destroyed the economy and started a war”

has trump come out to defend caesar chavez yet?

Who told them about the snow shovel ID checks? That was supposed to be a secret scary big city thing!

Team USA is the starkest example I've ever seen of what American youth travel baseball does to players, especially when they only have each other to play with.

I love baseball so much. What a great game.

y’all ever think about how many modern problems would disappear if people just had the barest minimum amount of shame? i’m not talking catholic levels or anything, just a little.

Who could have predicted this other than anyone who read his 2011 tweets goading Obama about doing this exact same thing to save mediocre poll numbers?

I am really really glad that in the competition between the Emmys’ “make a cruel joke out of forcing people to make short speeches” and “just don’t play anyone off” approach of SAG, we’ve gotten an Oscars that was closer to the latter, and it is a better show for it.

Oh suddenly president shitbomber has some kind of issue with disseminating AI slop? Also did someone tell him that plane that definitely crashed didn't crash? It crashed, guy. Not gonna be back up anytime soon.

That “Hasasmallpenis theater” joke was good. #oscars

The set on the Oscar’s is gorgeous.

That should fix it. Everyone knows there’s no way to see something that’s been taken down once.

Hey, @jaketapper.bsky.social you gonna talk about this one or just nah?

Imagine being the staffer sent to make a graphic so grandpa can celebrate that the losers he endorsed (picked as already-front runners) in Republican primaries beat other Republicans.

I feel like there's no way he's putting boots on the ground and this is just more of his insane "negotiating, where he floats batshit nonsense to "scare" his opponent. He's still subject to political gravity and his donors have to be blowing him up right now. He'll just pull out and claim victory.

We are going to fuck these people up, set their cities on fire, bomb their elementary schools, then declare victory and claim they surrendered when they didn't, leaving the radical son of the radical dictator in place. We're all crystal clear on this, right?

The Onion’s print ads are the best thing in the newspaper.

We're so fucked, y'all. Who could have possibly anticipated that this incredibly narrow body of water through which half the world's oil flows, and which is controlled by the country we just bombed the shit out of, would be important later?

This reminds me of COVID, when it first started to hit him that his usual tap dance and deny reality thing wasn't landing and he'd just kind of seem lost for a day or two before he figured out what belligerent bullshit he was gonna use.

Hey, @dieworkwear.bsky.social, any thoughts on having coat linings that make it look as though your shirtsleeves are emerging from hell itself? www.reddit.com/r/whatisit/s...

This is accurate. Only question is whether the media will let him get away with it.