Play Forbidden Solitaire

You ever sit up too fast then vomit in your mouth?

jesus fucking christ making a donut in blender is excruciating

NPCs in a game with an evil day night cycle.

Just had a sip for the first time since I was like 10 and had the ratatouille vision but it was of buying Yu-Gi-Oh cards at Toys R Us with my parents.

Does anyone else remember when McDonald's had Powerade on tap at the fountain machine?

when the set of girls who hate you intersects with your wife

it's important to jork it regularly to make sure god still loves you

I'm always mildly surprised when I have to explain what "dental bimbofication" means

If you’re trans & born before 2000, when asked who you are you can legit answer: “Do not ask me for a single title, I have crossed millennia under different names and worn more than one form besides. Revered by some and feared by many, I am remembered differently in each age that survives me.”

No, it's the Eps͟t͟a͟i͟n͟ files.

sometimes you eat somewhere and you KNOW you're gonna be sick

post your warning sign

I currently smell like gasoline.

The biggest source of stress ChatGPT has given me is making me self-conscious of my tendency to use em-dash instead of parenthesis.

One of the great atrocities of digital feudalism is that all the lords are as unbased as you think they would be. That both members of the git duopoly explicitly ban explicit content is miserable. Even if they barely enforce it.

she just turned to me and was like "we don't have to do quiet time y'know we could go for a walk" but like it's important to practice self control or so was the messaging of my youth

painfully trying not to rant to my girlfriend about engine design during quiet time

noise cancelling headphones have my cortisol levels at an all time low

overdid the salami and havarti eughhhh

Potentially an effective method for discouraging pulling on the leash

After a certain number of rewatches it does make sense to repost this instead of just scrolling down my feed for it over and over.

My feed gets absolutely filled to the brim with Warhound posting whenever there's a new release and I still haven't read the first book because my reading list is basically just there to shame me for never reading anything but reference manuals and documentation in my free time.

Sometimes life ain’t so bad

I think the secret to curing migraines is invasive surgery and Big Doctor doesn't want us to know because they don't want Big Surgeon to get bragging rights.

Designing a dangerous product just so I can end up on @cpsc.gov's timeline.

Sleepaway Camp is a stellar movie thank you to my friend for showing it to me I already knew about it because it was sampled in a Femtanyl song but it was still really good knowing the twist

I have no idea what I was talking about in this draft. Is Rolls Royce a family??? Was I meaning to talk about the company and just got like, mixed up? I'm so fucking confused. What was I mad about??

"wetgasm" my gf: "mmhm"

Was just telling someone about how I have no fillings and my dentist says it's because I grew up in an area with fluoride in the water early on and got fluoride treatments at my childhood dentist and like... Now I'm horny at the conspiracy idea it made me easier to hypnotize ;-;

I love this newly discovered species

Random compliments are really hard to process and cause a mix of positive emotions and distress that's really confusing

Listen up buster. I'm not your average stupid panting puppygirl, you got that? I am a proud and powerful fox with a dubious amount of tails at any given moment. You can't fool me. You can't trick me. I WATCHED you put something in my drink. Oh, it's a flavor enhancer? Yay! Thanks! Bottoms up!!

"sup cuck" gf: "hello" "you responded to cuck" gf: "kills you"

How I introduce my friends to each other

Admit it: This looks kinda like a dog.

Thinking about fun pranks I can pull on my coworkers and rating them against the social consequences of pranking my coworkers.

I am, so tired, and am failing to convince myself to get off the couch and go to bed. I can't fall asleep on the couch because my dog is taking up too much space.

There's a lot of videos on YouTube of people discussing hard vs soft panniers but they never really hit the reason I went for soft panniers on my motorcycle: They look way cooler. Mechanical horrrrssseeeeee

Finally getting comfortable enough on a motorcycle to start using it to commute, hanging out with friends and getting snacks, etc.

i wish doctors would actually diagnose me with mental things instead of vague handwaving because it makes it really hard to describe what's going on with me to people like how do i say i'm kinda manic right now without using clinical terminology you mother fuckers tell me what i should sayy cowards