I mean I feel like I understand the reason. It's because they're dumber than shit

Happy “I just found out it’s the first night of Hanukkah and it’s too late to call my mom to wish her a happy Hanukkah” to all who celebrate!

Depression will tell you “you make the lives of everyone around you harder, do them all a favor and just disappear,” but that same bitch is also like “if they say otherwise they’re liars and you should lash out at them.” And you still want to believe it????

I have a matcha intolerance can I still be gay?

POKEMON Z-A WHAT WHY

Happy rainy day to all who celebrate 💙 #losangeles

Them: You're not being the Wife Guy allegations. Me: I'm not trying to 🥰 @erikaishii.bsky.social

I just visited blood donation center of a local cancer hospital. Waiting room was empty. 2 active donors in the back. I wasn’t eligible to donate today (low iron) but everyone who reads this should try. There is a critical shortage and hospitals are desperate. Go save some lives.

I know things are bleak but I just watched Brendan Yates perform Tiny Desk's first-ever crowd surf and it brought me joy.

The following is a statement from the WGA on ABC’s decision to pull ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’

I feel like a frog who just realized the water’s boiling. www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio...

Of course I loving DMing: when I played Mafia as a kid I always wanted to be the narrator. The best part was coming up with creative ways to kill everyone!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

What I meant to say: monks and nuns What came out of my dumbass mouth: monks and monkettes

Brb touching grass

My parents live in Chicago and will finally get to see Erika in action. They have no concept of what she does for a living and every attempt to explain it to them has failed. I’d say 50/50 they leave the theater deeply confused.

We all have that friend who will always pick up no matter what, and I am the person who abuses that privilege by calling @jennyyokobori.bsky.social every time I need to rant about survivor.

jubilee basically hosted a kl*n rally and people are still calling their videos "debates"

Uh oh someone just taught me how to play Magic the Gathering Uh oh it was really fun and I’m hooked

THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND

2 years since @erikaishii.bsky.social flew into my life on dragon wings. Here’s to a lifetime of being goblins around the world ❤️

Hey you should watch 28 Years Later if you like movies that are good

The 2017 Power Rangers movie is on Netflix. No one gave this fun lil movie a chance, I'll die on that hill, Power Rangers deserved better and you should watch it if you like earnest action movies with a lot of heart

Girlfriend: So, what do you want to eat for your last dinner in Japan? Me: McDonald’s Her: …What about- Me: MCDONALD’S

This episode is close to my heart because I wrote most of it! A little over a year ago I cornered @ifycomedy.com at a party and demanded he let me write the Buffy episode. He hired me on the spot under minimal duress.

I’ve been in Japan for about 12 hours and I’m here to tell my fellow Americans We are not a proper country. We have never been a proper country. We Americans are cave people, play-acting as civilized. Every toilet I’ve used in Japan has a bidet.

The Simpsons let me down for the last time on April 12th 😔

Trust me

Sometimes you start doing research for an Um, Actually question that turns into a full rewatch of Battlestar Galactica

THATS MY GIRLFRIEND youtu.be/PVBLJYjSAhg?...

The chemo leading up to my SCT killed my bone marrow which meant (among other things) that I wasn’t making blood for a couple weeks. I needed daily blood transfusions until the stem cells worked their way into my marrow and brought it back to life. So Erika calls me their vampire partner 🧛🩸

One of the lowest presidential approval rates I can remember.

So after some developments i feel I owe yall some context: I had a stem cell transplant in 2010 and we are now finding out that I didn’t wait long enough afterward to get re-vaccinated against everything. I have no immunity to mumps, rubella, chicken pox, hepatitis b, and probably more lol.

Kristen Stewart just got married. Please respect my privacy while I mourn my chances with her during this time.

Some day I will trick Ify into hosting an Animorphs episode of UmA. He'll look into the prompter and slowly realize that it's all Animorphs statements. Like a Grecian prophesy, this cannot be stopped. Watch Um, Actually on Dropout.tv!

What with the measles being back and all, I decided to talk to my doctor after hearing that some adults might need to be re-vaccinated against it. Turns out I'm one of them! A quick blood test found ZERO immunity to the measles. I'm re-upping the MMR vaccine this afternoon.

Today is Trans Day of Visibility. Now more than ever, it’s important to be loud in our support for the trans community. Love should not be a radical act, but here we are. I love the trans members of my community. Our world would be worse without you.

I’m here, I’m queer, and I’d like to go back to bed

snuck my second animorphs question into @umactually.bsky.social, watch me turn this whole show into animorphs: the show: the movie: the musical

Who gave AC Shadows the fucking RIGHT to make me cry???? “If you do this, then you must hand me the katana next” fuck meeeeee 😭

I needed to show someone that I memorized this www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2qMwh2d/

My drunksona is Wife Guy. If I drink too much I will go up to everyone I see and tell them how hot my girlfriend is and how much I love her. TLDR thank you to everyone at her birthday party who had to endure me I am not EMBARRASSED I am in LOVE

Happy birthday @erikaishii.bsky.social Can’t wait for another year of kissing while splattered with the blood of our enemies

Not gay as in happy but queer as in I have never been on time for anything in my life

I'd like to announce that I'm pivoting to media criticism. Here is my critique of the media. It sucks ass. Having registered this critique I'm now pivoting back to songs about the true nature of prophecy & books where there was maybe a ghost but you're not entirely sure

Found out the friend who always watches scary movies with me does not, in fact, enjoy horror?????? Me: Why do you keep going to see them?! Her: You keep inviting me We could've been doing something we both like this whole time???? In other news, I'm in the market for a new Scary Movie Buddy

Friendly reminder to people that a piece of media can be objectively good and also not for you! Not liking something doesn't mean it lacks in quality! The opposite is also true: it's okay to like something that is poor quality! Down with guilty pleasures! Enjoy shit!

*I'm* mentally ill? Could a mentally ill person do THIS? (proceeds to not shower or leave the apartment for days)

My Nails? Nine Inches.