Going off social media for a couple of weeks as of tomorrow. (Sorry, annoying post, I know. Keeps me honest)

If it makes you feel any better your senses of hunger, thirst, and the passage of time are also constructs of your brain and your cells.

A favourite variation was one I contrived for @thefence.bsky.social in 2020, re: Jeff Bezos' then wealth of $177bn. "Iago first said 'Put money in thy purse’ at the premiere of Othello on Nov 1st 1604. You'd only need to put $1.1 million in said purse every single day since to match Bezos’ total".

Tickets for the Leeds gigs selling very quickly, by the way, so act quickly if you don't want to miss out

Pretty sure this misunderstanding is played for laughs in the Steve Coogan/Tristram Shandy film A Cock and Bull Story

In case anyone missed it and is interested (sorry, I'll stop spamming about this soon), my band ¡Forward, Russia! are doing our first gigs in 13 years and tickets are on sale at 10am

Yep, we're repressing Give Me a Wall and playing some gigs. ¡Let's fucking go!

GUY DYING OF TUBERCULOSIS IN 1910: I wish I was getting addicted to sportsbetting right now

My band are playing our first gigs in 13 (!) years

My band are playing our first gigs in 13 (!) years

Time… to fall asleep… (5pm)

Business idea: a tradesman who is is willing to communicate via email

Replies to this are an extremely depressing parade of uncurious philistinism

Figures in Movement https://www.wikiart.org/en/francis-bacon/figures-in-movement-1976

Reminded again how much I love this book and how upset it makes me more people haven’t read it. An absolutely unstoppable torrent of voice

Thinking about the 80-year-old American tourist I saw in the Leeds Bradford Airport duty free section with a baseball cap that just said ‘GOLF’ on it

Still wading through this Kafkaesque hell. Love being treated like I'm an idiot for just wanting to be paid for work I already did

I used to bulldoze the districts when the letters disappeared because it looked messy and wrong

I suppose we're supposed to think it's good that a guy who somehow has the exact same vibe as David Walliams is going to be Prime Minister

as an ‘essay’ will play well with the bluesky demographic): tomwoodhead.substack.com/p/the-failur...

Evening plug for the essay I wrote about the ¡Forward, Russia! song ‘Nine’ (the octopus who has been advising me (who also happens to be a private detective (albeit one whose business is on the verge if collapse (he blames Brexit, but really the problem is his rancid vibe))) says that describing it

The definitive millennial song is clearly legend_of_zelda_System_of_a_down(1).mp3

Evening plug for the essay I wrote about the ¡Forward, Russia! song ‘Nine’ (the octopus who has been advising me (who also happens to be a private detective (albeit one whose business is on the verge if collapse (he blames Brexit, but really the problem is his rancid vibe))) says that describing it

I wrote another ¡Forward, Russia! thing on substack, about the song Nine: open.substack.com/pub/tomwoodh...

I wrote another ¡Forward, Russia! thing on substack, about the song Nine: open.substack.com/pub/tomwoodh...

I really used to live

I swear this Met Gala thing happens about seven times a year

Boss fights are tedious exercises in memorising attack patterns and most games that have them would be better without them

Do Burnley have the most Pro Evo badge of all time?

As a semi-retired live sound engineer I feel well-qualified to weigh in on the ‘drinking at work’ discourse: it’s awesome

I am writing a thing about this song like I did for Twelve; will probably be about twice as long and I’ve barely started it. Hm

20

If you think about what so-called “attention” actually is it makes a lot of sense that it’s gonna be good at this and also it’s a good illustrative example of how this differs from human cognitive attention

Explaining to my son why he’s grounded

Oh, and that the ‘snow‘ in the Wizard of Oz was 100% pure asbestos

The ’rule of tincture’ for flags. Read about it in some newspaper supplement about 15 years ago and for some reason bring it up at every opportunity

' Sunscreen ' Mixed Media, 2026. If anyone needs any album cover artwork or art ideas get in touch! Ive worked on album covers & other similar projects with Moor Mother to Field Music to Alison Cotton and more. Spread the word if you can! Artists need any help they can get right now! Cheers G!

Explaining to my wife that it’s OK to have an edible on Christmas morning

You can pre-order my book, The Spectre of Pep, now by clicking this link: geni.us/TheSpectreOf...

Cowardly and fundamentally wrong. If you want to ban it, ban it for people who are allowed to vote too www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Guardian interviewer don’t spend a paragraph talking about the interviewee‘s pets challenge

Niche request: does anyone know of a UK service that allows one to order documents bulk-printed with a dot matrix printer, with those holes in the side of the paper dot matrix used to have?

I have a feeling I'm going to be returning to this for at least a few months. They appear to be asking me to mail an entire suite of physical forms to Spain. For £65.

Love to spend hours filling in forms and trying to find out what a 'bank certificate' is in order to earn the right to invoice for work that I already did (before being told about any of the bullshit)

Ringing the doctor and forcing the receptionist to listen to a really long and patronising script before I'll tell her what I want

Now listening

Okay. What the fuck am I supposed to do. I'm supposed to do that?

Another side of the Windham-Campbell Prize told by an amazing writer paperpools.blogspot.com/2026/04/we-l...