I would have thought on the sea shore was the worst possible place to sell seashells

I love the insane giant leopard

DO YOU EAT I P C L E U B M O S X IF NOT * * * * * YOU SHOULD THEY ARE **** DELICIOUS ****

Is that... related

Important update: this soup absolutely slaps

Ah but the thing is self-employed barristers don't work for KPMG or have corporate breathing down their neck

"I was saving my nice things for the day my life felt dignified enough to be worthy of them" is a feeling I relate to hard, having filled and put out for the first time in November the salt and pepper shakers my friend bought me on a work trip to California in 2016 inews.co.uk/opinion/10-y...

Massive craving for egg drop soup, unwilling to do a recipe that claims I will have egg drop soup in 15 minutes

Cnts

It fits tho

I imagine the lobster being a highly qualified education professional like Dr Dillamond in Wicked

Wait what thing

Can't even watch step-sibling porn or they throw you in jail. These days.

And he is obviously wearing trousers, it would be a much bigger story if the Prime Minister was out and about in a little pencil skirt, or his underwear

This is a grotesque statement. Kanye West released "Heil Hitler" *less than a year ago*. No other ethnic group would ever be asked to accept this. The managing director should be fired for this disgusting statement alone.

So close! We actually don't wanna be your friend x

My flat is just 22°C, I haven't put the heating on ever, I moved in in mid-November, I am not sure I could make it cold in here if I tried No this adds nothing I'm just bragging

Just asked a guy at the coffee shop to direct me to the inaccessible toilet

Oh it doesn't make me feel anything like I literally couldn't give less of a fuck if people want to go to the moon

We used to be a proper country

I will be a paid influencer for Huel (you can blend collagen into it so it doesn't taste like beef juice but unfortunately it will taste like Huel)

Just wanna thank Chappell Roan and Lindy West for this top tier meme cycle

I do think quite a lot of people have gone irretrievably mad huffing The Discourse of this issue

Yes I'm sure a closeted bisexual in Regency England would "identify as queer"

A friend of mine who is getting married in a couple weeks is "aggressively cutting" as a "2 week sprint". I ask what this entails. "Half a carton of soup for lunch". I say that's about 150kcal and ridiculous. He says no, it is double that. It's not.

Full disclosure I do frequently threaten to attack people

Ordering a size M t shirt because I'm drunk on my own thinness (still obese)

Might have just given a guy wrong directions so that will haunt me

dearwendy.com/my-boyfriend... this advice is absolutely terrible

"Play again" absolutely not xxx

I don't know if Chappell Roan did send her security to bollock an 11 year old girl for looking at her but the problem here is that she does extremely give "the type of person that would send her security to bollock an 11 year old girl for looking at her"

Gonna start saying this after "I have more of a comment than a question really"

Joseph Duggar of 19 Kids and Counting accused of molesting child share.google/5XTJYLZbcZN2... uh what has gone on with this family

What in fuck's name are you talking about

"In 2022 I shat myself in public and now inexplicably I am asking you to loan me your rare spider silk underwear which I promise I will not shit myself in"

A man just took his feet off the train seat when I gave him a really filthy look, I feel drunk with power

Super Liking me on Tinder is coercive and I will not stand for it

Having intrusive thoughts like "throw all the food in your fridge away. Go to the restaurant downstairs for chicken wings"

I really don't think he's going to be bothered

I think I will do a PhD thesis called "The Psychosocial Implications of The Skin Colour You Choose For Your Thumbs Up Emoji"

Signed up to help at a work dinner and the young'un organising it, who has met me 4 or 5 times max, said "no truffle on anything right?", presumably because I kicked off so much about the ubiquity of truffle on the christmas party menu that it's burned into his mind

From the UK, but I wrote about this behaviour for the Observer three years ago www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023...

"The Palestinian place is for Salt Of The Earth working people and Gail's is for BOUGIE CUNTS"

Does anyone know what the fuck today's NYT Strands is even talking about

Oh great, I'd forgotten that Strava feeds my runs into MyFitnessPal as "Jogging (in place)" because it wants to mock how slow I ran the 2k course it plotted with GPS

What

I would actually go so far as to say you cannot celebrate someone by killing their cat

Anyway I did this psychopathy test and it said I'm boring