Latest report from chez parents: Dinner table broken. Tools to fix dinner table in shed. Shed keys lost. Rapeseed oil for the brie starter depleted. Tension high. Christmas spirit has transmogrified into some sort of demon creature that looks like a wet gremlin.

So about last night. We went to a Burger Buffet at The Hickory Inn in #halberton. I'll write about it - but definitely a satisfying experience I'd do again. It was laced with sadness as there has been so many cancellations and the business has already had to cut staff recently. Sad times.

I absolutely frucking hate wrapping. On my four or five hours of sleep I had last night I've managed to do some but @toriboard.bsky.social has caned through the rest of it like a pro. The dog has been traumatised at the fact we're in different places doing 'things they don't normally do' bless him.

This year on Bluesky I wrote 331 posts and 880 replies. I received 2,711 likes, whereas 44 was from my most popular post, and apparently I love saying "its" and 😂! www.madebyolof.com/bluesky-wrap...

Over to #Sidmouth to visit the Aunt and to nose at the now locally famous lifeboat that washed up last week. She is hard work although I love her, she refuses to wear her hearing aids and refuses to accept the fact she can't just take painkillers willy nilly without talking to the nurses *sigh*

*groan* 🙃🤣

Thought I'd spice things up tonight by nudging a wine bottle with my elbow. It fell on the floor and shattered. It was empty thankfully but brought the evening to a smashing end 🙄

As I thought, someone has been adding soil to my allotment. The plot thickens.

Off for a blood test, fingers crossed it's all nice and normal 😁

My new version of #doomscrolling is looking at Pinterest finding puns. Living the dream.

G'night 🌟

On a ☎️ call to mum last week I said don’t spend big on Christmas Day. Money’s tight. Later she says I won’t stop my stepdad “enjoying Xmas” apparently. Translation: enjoyment equals spend. Same maths every year 🙃. At the weekend they did a shop, over £300. I tried 🫠

Nigel Farage vs Marcel Proust analogy on Henry Morris' Substack for the New Yorker gave me a much needed giggle this depressingly grim 🌧️ morning.

Well, at least you can see him coming 🙃

Brand new from Chef Tim Golder, Smkd UK has just launched. I bought some of the first sauces, very excited to try them :) #smkduk

Snot levels have decreased significantly. More films consumed. More puns found More tea drank 👍

Day 1 of huffing Lemsip and dealing with internal rejection sensitivity. The dog has mostly been pestering and moaning that he's bored. *sigh*

Snoot of glory #Dachshund #dogsky

I genuinely don't get social media anymore. I reached my zenith in 2016, and now it seems to be a full time job just to keep up with what 'you have to do' to get your work in front of other people's eyeballs. Anyhow. Today I have a cold. I've largely given up and will spend the day huffing lemsip.

Yes. This 😂

I've gone and created a Substack. It's about my journey with stage four cancer, food and thoughts: meditations I suppose. Stuff algorithms don't care about. The video is a short extract. It's called Food404 but that might change. open.substack.com/pub/foo404/p...

Opened up Reddit to be presented with a comment in my local Reddit group about flags being strung up. I've not said anything about this topic so I've spent the last hour writing a verbose reply. Let's see how many flag-shaggers I can offend today.

Epitome of British political protest.

#firstworldproblem My smoked salmon trimmings have gone out of date and the dog keeps farting even without my help (see previous skeet)

Current problems: every time I pat the dog's rear hips he farts and my algorithm keeps showing me wine influencers which would be great if I could drink alcohol.

Genuinely entertaining reading from Henry Morris about our favourite gormless twot. open.substack.com/pub/mrhenrym...

It's like Spotify wrapped, but for Bluesky :) - a bit of fun. www.reddit.com/r/BlueskySoc...

May I present 'The Stupidest Thing I've Read This Year' thanks to Reddit.

My favourite Chris Rea song is the one about driving home for Christmas: The Road To Hell

Apparently The Big Bang Theory is leaving Netflix. I feel a 12 season binge is in order. I've watched all seasons, all episodes, three times now. This will be my fourth 🙃 #tvsky #bigbangtheory

In 1992 I wrote to Santa asking him to put white chocolate on digestives. Now it's happened but I have received no royalties or acknowledgement for conceiving the idea. Clear Big Biscuit read children's Christmas letters. Spread the word.

Said in the voice of Jesse (of The Fast Show) today I'll mostly be...

I've set up a charity for atheists It's a non prophet organisation

Love is: bringing home a butt ton of cheese for your husband. I'm a lucky man 🎄

Kicking off advent by spending 💰 on Christmas presents. Then buying myself stuff. Then realising the car needs and new exhaust and wondering if that could be some sort of Christmas present but it'd be very boring 🙃

I appear to be watching 'normal telly' at the moment.

Has 'Your Party' got a reset button? I do think they might need to switch it off and back on.

I don't really know what's happening with @handles.club - have had to change my handle to something else as it comes up with Invalid Handle. Very sad as I liked my follows.food suffix. 😬😫

Well I've not heard it called that before 🙃

I'm off to my local garden centre to look at Christmas sh1t.

Today I'm invalidly handled 🙃

Don't tell anyone but I've eaten them all 🙃🤣

Apparently Temu sells everything. What a bargain 🙃

I've just spent £20 on ice cream and chocolate. On the way down to the garage I saw a bunch of foreign students having some sort of brawl outside the INTO halls of residence. The antagonist did a flying kick at one of the others. I would love to know what it was over 😬

People who have their Christmas trees up before the beginning of December. Why?

"As the festive season draws near, the debate over the best service station for drivers is set to intensify" No. It really isn't. I highly doubt this will be topic at every table over Christmas. And anyway, we all know Gloucester Services is the best. fAKe nEWs 🙃

❌️Tomorrow Exeter says loud and clear: no to hatred and racism. 🫂We are a welcoming city - celebrating diversity, united against division 💚Join us!

Tonight I'm going to a surprise gathering in my honour apparently? It's a surprise in as much I know something is happening. But I don't know what. And apparently it's in my honour. 🥰🙃

A little health update after my oncology appointment yesterday ❤️ #cancer #oncology

The latest bit of self-sabotaging nobbendery... "He said also "sometimes if you let people in on their own, the reason why they're on their own is that they've got no-one to talk to, so they start mithering other groups". "So what we do as a venue is we just eliminate that."