So I just checked into a New York hotel and the concierge says “oh, you got upgraded.” We had booked a standard room. I was thinking the upgrade might be a living room. We have a two floor suite with an infinity hot tub on the terrace…

TWO-TIME PINSTRIPE BOWL CHAMPIONS YOU’LL NEVER SING THAT

Terry is gonna have the boys drink some BROTH at half

Happy 14th anniversary to this youtube video

Even by Sixers standards that was an abomination.

Kirsten Dunst and Gabrielle Union could do HEAT, but Pacino and De Niro couldn't do BRING IT ON.

I've been thinking about this sign for 6 months. a phrase I'll treasure forever. a metaphor with boundless potential

ICE detain father shopping on Christmas Eve—then steal his family's groceries. Then 3 agents divvy up his paid for food—taking what they want for themselves. "Can I just get the wife's number to call and let her know?" woman asks. "No, guess he should've complied," agent says. Yakima, Washington

workin’ on my night cheese (cake)

The thought of JJ Redick wasting his Christmas on this makes me giggle a little

Every time I watch the Lakers they get roasted like Tiny Tim’s goose

Al Michaels: it will be a busy offseason for Kelce because he’s marrying the biggest pop star alive Herbstriet: Look, Travis Kelce is from Ohio and I’m from Ohio.

Frightening how many people want to watch poorly-produced dogshit football instead of an excellent slate of Christmas NBA.

As someone who likes to bake and make complicated shit, the recipe for Kentucky Butter Cake on the NYT cooking app is simple enough to be made by a house republican and is an absolute banger. You’ll look like a genius.

Merry Christmas, gang.

“Garlic eaters” is such a crazy slur, Mr. Potter was out here inventing new kinds of racism

Baking and getting champagne drunk.

Love The Guardian’s soccer coverage but putting Rafael Leão in its top 100 players over Pulisic is laughable. Pulisic has played better, been more clinical and more influential for three years playing on the same team.

Finally settling in that I don’t have to work for twooo weeeekkksss

I'm at the Waffle House. I'm at the Rally House. I'm at the combination Waffle House and Rally House

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen is so metal.

Not sure how Joelinton doesn’t get in that game.

Bump. Either selfish or tunnel vision.

Elanga fucking sucks man. Just awful.

If you are going to try to hold the 2-0 lead through energy and work rate, you have to hair trigger with subs in the second half.

I like Eddie Howe, but I’m about out of patience.

I spend my life obsessively watching, studying, coaching and playing soccer and at this point, I have no idea what is and isn’t a handball.

and tiny tim, who was NOT in the epstein files,

You're so excited for the Blessed Voices Congress at Mount Hermon Falls. You're gonna sing, make some S'Mores at the bonfire, maybe make out with that girl from Clearview if you can both slip away from the group. You board the bus. These faces look up at you

Mayo Zedong

Ryan Seacrest is evolving towards Willem Dafoe

I’ve spent years making a playlist of indie and indie adjacent Christmas music that doesn’t suck. My gift to you: open.spotify.com/playlist/6JM...

The Thunder are proof that The Process was not only valid, but it was indisputably the correct decision. A poor outcome doesn’t invalidate good strategy.

someone said trump is lookin like a slice of mince bologna, and he is, but I’m gonna add it’s one that fell on the floor in the back of that wawa on deleware ave.

I’ve decided Glesnes absolutely belongs in the ring of honor.

I feel like maybe the goal of all this is for people to talk about you like they’ve talked about Rob Reiner after you’re gone.

Just saw someone online say Giannis will go down as a better player than KD and I am shooooook

If that doesn’t get Udoka run, I don’t know what will. He’s also dead wrong.

cozy af up in here

Could a person with depression do this?! (grimly goes about activities of daily living)

Nick Castellanos only hits one more homer and it’s When It Happens

What American fans don’t want to hear—not just soccer fans—is that in high-variance sports, the playoffs are largely just playing craps. Basketball is a low variance sport and seven game series means the best team usually wins the title. It’s not like that in baseball and certainly not MLS.

if Garcia can simply show up and not be a smug dickhead who treats everyone like shit, he’ll be an upgrade over Casty, who will go down as one of my least favorite Phillies of all time.

Garcia is going to be maddening at the plate but he’s still an incredible defender. He had positive value last year despite a .271 OBP. Value for money it seems like a no brainer, given that there was nothing else out there.

Instagram just recommended I follow the dude who’s old ID I used as a fake for two solid years.

long field goals are bad is a loser take. draft a better kicker.

The chateau

Highly recommend an evening of watching all the 30 Rock Christmas episodes with a bottle of red.