youtube really cant stop telling me what it thinks i want to watch. Even my latest subs list now has a "most relevant" selection right at the top. Like, the most relevant video in a list of latest videos is literally going to be the latest one. Are you listening to me, youtube? Are you here?

My hotel bathroom has so many mirrors, everywhere i look there is a cyriak. I'm not even sure which one is me

In a hotel watching tv for the first time in 10 years, and its like visiting one of those half deserted shopping centres. 2 guys sitting on a sofa talking about paint drying, followed by a discussion on puddles and an episode of "people doing things"

Had a dream last night about "Lucy", the 3 million year old fossil skeleton of a prehistoric hominid. Scientists were celebrating her discovery by using her bones to cook a delicious stew. "Lucy stew" they called it. I didn't try any

Today I learnt about the actual, canonical sequel to 101 Dalmatians. Every single paragraph of the synopsis makes me feel like I've lost my mind a little bit more. I am so sad that this never got a film adaptation.

the british government has finally called upon me to save the world by giving them all my used teabags. It is the very least I can do

building an "oopsy" machine so we can blame it for everything that ever goes wrong

If I could go back in time and give myself any piece of advice, it would be: "please build a time machine so you can go back in time and tell yourself to build a time machine"

this might be the most amazing name in the history of names

whenever adobe does something evil i always remember the awkward meeting i had with them years ago where they told me about this new subscription thing they were going to do, and all i could think about was "i hope my copy of cs5 never stops working"

A cunning ploy, Adobe, but you forgot one thing *slides jewel case out of my sleeve* My highschool computing teacher was my friend's Dad

Imagining a modern version of Macbeth where all his actions are predicated on the advice of ai chatbots.

Always seeing this at the top of my feed annoys me more than it probably should. It looks like i'm saying "whats up?" to nobody in particular. And I'm not. @twittersupport can we change this please?

its funny, but to this day I have no idea how the Goldilocks story ends. As a kid, I'd get to the part where the bears come home and I didn't even want to know what comes next. Presumably they all chew her face off. I figure I'm old enough to handle it now, though, so I'm going to look it up...

I know there's a lot going on in the world right now, but why is it so hard to find a set of knives, forks and spoons that aren't weirdly wrong in some way?

Decided to animate this, just to see what it would look like

Woke up this morning thinking about Larry Grayson for some reason. His catchphrase was "shut that door", and I have no idea why, and unless scientists can work that out they will never understand what dolphins are saying

Just remembered a weird dream I had the other night where one of my mates ran off so fast he left his empty skin behind

Have scientists ever done a serious study of whether animals also do that funny little dance we do on the pavement? The one where two people keep stepping to the same side to avoid crashing into each other? I'm wondering if that could be the one thing that truly separates us from the animals..

Seeing as its now 2026, here are some predictions for the year 2126, 100 years into the future...🧙🔮 1. Deltron will finally zanflate the chronosphere 2. Grumto will be in every plob 3. Floating belldingles 4. Compulsory obloids 5. Eternal fart noises will echo through the darkness

when i was a kid, 2025 was the furthest into the future I could ever imagine myself existing. So i guess tomorrow i will be stepping into the abyss.

Finished building my lego santa

Dreamt an important fact last night: you must never use a sponge on a horse, no matter how soggy your horse might be, because the sponge will come alive and burrow into the horse and live there like a parasite. Hope this information is useful

somehow i've only just noticed that i pronounce "can" and "can't" completely differently for no reason whatsoever. Whats up with that nonsense?

Seeing as its christmas and steam sale time I figured I should recommend some games I enjoyed this year, even though they are mostly of the old school shooty bang bang variety that nobody else likes. I've probably mentioned all these before so feel free to ignore this

Coming next year... youtu.be/uJJ21ykw80s?...

whats going on with big stuff? There's huge, giant and enormous, and then there's ginormous and humongous, but what about gimongous and hunormous? Gigantic sounds bigger than all of them, but we could have gigantimongous if we wanted. I don't think anything could be bigger than that.

Christmas shopping at tescos

This is the good shit ⤵️

a million years from now scientists will find a layer in the geological record made entirely of christmas cards i leave standing on a shelf all year until stray air currents eventually knock them over and I put next year's cards on top of them

Saw a car today with door handles that disappeared into the door when it pulled away. My 1st thought was "oh, that's a bit fancy." My 2nd thought was "if that stopped working there is no way I would ever bother getting it fixed."

I woke up in the middle of the night with an image burned into my mind that heralded the coming of the end-times. I have re-created this image to the best of my memory, though looking at it now I dunno if it inspires the same feeling of dread as it did at 3 in the morning..

I bloody love writing. I spent yesterday writing a single paragraph, crafting each sentence like a piece of antique furniture, building a 4 dimensional puzzle out of words and feelings. And today I rewrote it because it was a bit shit. Already looking forward to doing it again tomorrow.

Happy birthday Doom! As usual the cacowards are overflowing with a crazy amount of new doom stuff. If you like doom and want more doom then here you go

"imagine if men could 3d-print stuff using their dicks!" was an amazing idea i had in a dream last night. Now that I'm awake, I don't think I want to imagine it.

This is a work of art

There's a particular screwdriver in my cupboard that is only ever used for poking horrible things. The amount of horrible things I've poked with it over the years suggests to me that "horrible thing poking device" is maybe a tool they should be selling in shops

I was curious what my experiment would look like if the temporal distortion was rotating. Not sure if I would call this a "success", but its definitely a something

My dreams last night were completely taken over by Noel Edmonds doing some kind of crime caper. His plan for evading the police was to shave his beard off so no one would recognise him.

This is a fun game, if you like geometry wars style twin stick hypnotic visual overload type stuff store.steampowered.com/app/2105620/...

Decided to revisit this weird slit-scan style experiment I did years ago

This is incredible. They took this picture down, not because its a nightmare ai monstrosity, but because "it looks like immigrants a bit. maybe." Like 2 different strains of insanity colliding and somehow cancelling each other out

Dreamt last night that I found a nappy baked inside a loaf of bread. The boss of the bread company decided to mitigate this bad PR by eating a nappy live on tv, to show that eating nappies is fine, and bread is made of old nappies now so we all have to just get used to it.

Finally got to the end of Silksong. Its a really cool game that I would heartily recommend to nobody I know.

Every single time this gets me!!

I saw a sign outside someone's house the other day saying "thank you for picking up your dog's poos", and as someone who doesn't own a dog I feel like maybe I deserve a little sign thanking me for not pooing everywhere as well. "Thanks for not pooing everywhere, Cyriak" You're welcome

if a frankenstein was bitten by a dracula, would it become a frankula or a drankenstein?

Love how trees just drop all their old shit on the ground, like "whatever. Someone else can sort that out."

When I'm an old geezer and I'm like "hey guys, remember my videos? They are now available on Evilcorp's Nazitron!" - please feel free to tell me how bad Evilcorp's Nazitron actually is and how maybe I shouldn't be using it