My brother tells me there is a toxin in potatoes that makes you dream of werewolves. Can anyone confirm this theory?

Looking forward to the live action Thundercats reboot featuring actual cats and possibly rain clouds

Do parts of my body that fall off go in the food waste bin?

Just saw this on the science feed, and i'm pretty sure it saw me too

Always fun when people turn my weird tunes into video game levels. www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1b_... Not sure how playable this is, though...

There's a paradox that has been around forever but seems uniquely applicable to the modern world: the smarter you try and make a tool, the stupider it becomes. Using the internet these days feels like doing DIY with a swiss army knife

Been trying so hard to get left behind by AI

owning a garden starts off like "haha i own a garden" and ends with the realisation that the garden actually owns you

Being covered in ants sounds terrible, while being covered in kittens sounds kind of fun. But what if the kittens were the size of ants? How small would kittens need to be, to make the experience of being covered in them unpleasant?

Last night's dream started with a game show for monkeys and ended with Christopher Biggins snogging a clone of himself in "the future". Actually woke myself up laughing at how stupid it was

playing a little tune

I was about to post an old gif to celebrate Sir Dave's 100th birthday, but it might genuinely be the most horrible thing I ever animated

After decades of research I am reaching the conclusion that no doorbell or phonecall that ever wakes you up is worth answering. I am prepared to hear evidence to the contrary though

I think the teacher from the Charlie Brown cartoons is actually recorded bum speech

if bumholes could speak, I imagine they would sound like Donald Duck. Not that i am actually imagining such a thing, this is just a feeling that i have

found a whole operation of unmanned youtube channels making completely unchecked long form slop videos where the ai voice simulacra regularly trips up & does this for a full ten minutes every time. all the very legit comments are like "NO! THATS NOT TRUE! YOU LIE HE DID NOT" & never acknowledge it.

my internet experience these days is basically the blood test scene from "The Thing", except the blood is funny animal videos and The Thing is ai, and everyone is The Thing

Just realised that by throwing spiders out of my house i am selectively breeding invisible ninja spiders.

Polymer clay Rainbow lads, ready for a big night out.

I will share this every year. Another belter of animation by @cyriak.bsky.social put to the epic music of Denki Groove. Enjoy. #Cyriak #DenkiGroove #Music #Animation www.youtube.com/watch?v=aS0f...

Kind of weird how animals are all just walking around in the nude, and everyone's ok with that

Once I found a hidden pocket on my coat. 'I can put my banana in that' I thought, only to discover there was already a banana in it, dating from the last time I found this pocket. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to find a month-old banana in their pocket

spare a thought for my friend who cant get any photo id without showing their photo id

No one ever talks about the moon that's inside the Earth. Its always the space moon that gets all the attention.

Just heard the sad news that donald trump was accidentally pulled inside out through his anus today, though he is still alive somehow. elon musk attempted to save him using a tiny submarine, but it has catastrophically imploded inside trumps inverted bumhole.

Just remembered a weird dream i had last night where someone gave me a massive packet of crisps. They were "KUNG FU AIDS" flavour, according to the packaging. Thankfully i woke up before finding out what that tastes like

In order to remember to pay my car tax this month I've had to delete whoever that guy is in scooby doo from my brain. Not Shaggy, the other one. Wears a white jumper. Come to think of it, I'm not sure i ever bothered remembering his name in the first place

Showing off my new shoe skills

youtube is so desperate for "most relevant" to be a thing in my latests subs feed, they are now making it apear in random different places so its impossible to ignore. I swear eventually they will just decide for themselves which of my subscriptions I'm allowed to watch

had a dream last night where not only was I naked, my house didn't have any walls. That's like double-nude...

One of my biggest regrets is seeing this comic on the shelf of a newsagents back in the 90s and not immediately buying it poopsheetfoundation.com/index.php/mi...

If you're making a tv show and thinking of having a scene where a guy in bed reaches out sadly to the empty pillow next to them, i'd just ike to say literally the last two shows i watched both had that scene and, like, maybe, i dunno, its been done enough now, perhaps? Totally up to you though

Solving world hunger by pumping baked beans through everyones letterbox

Some future version of me really needs to sort out all this shit i can't be bothered to

I've had a number of years to get used to people walking around talking to invisible people on hands-free phones, but I don't think it will ever not look weird. There is always a brief moment where I have to figure out if they are mentally ill or something.

I've been unemployed for a few months. I now set myself pretend jobs to prevent the rot setting in. My son thinks this guy is funny, which is a good enough excuse to make something. Any requests?

Did a talk recently and thought I should share a couple of slides from my presentation that perhaps warrant further study.

youtube really cant stop telling me what it thinks i want to watch. Even my latest subs list now has a "most relevant" selection right at the top. Like, the most relevant video in a list of latest videos is literally going to be the latest one. Are you listening to me, youtube? Are you here?

My hotel bathroom has so many mirrors, everywhere i look there is a cyriak. I'm not even sure which one is me

In a hotel watching tv for the first time in 10 years, and its like visiting one of those half deserted shopping centres. 2 guys sitting on a sofa talking about paint drying, followed by a discussion on puddles and an episode of "people doing things"

Had a dream last night about "Lucy", the 3 million year old fossil skeleton of a prehistoric hominid. Scientists were celebrating her discovery by using her bones to cook a delicious stew. "Lucy stew" they called it. I didn't try any

Today I learnt about the actual, canonical sequel to 101 Dalmatians. Every single paragraph of the synopsis makes me feel like I've lost my mind a little bit more. I am so sad that this never got a film adaptation.

the british government has finally called upon me to save the world by giving them all my used teabags. It is the very least I can do

building an "oopsy" machine so we can blame it for everything that ever goes wrong

If I could go back in time and give myself any piece of advice, it would be: "please build a time machine so you can go back in time and tell yourself to build a time machine"

this might be the most amazing name in the history of names

whenever adobe does something evil i always remember the awkward meeting i had with them years ago where they told me about this new subscription thing they were going to do, and all i could think about was "i hope my copy of cs5 never stops working"

A cunning ploy, Adobe, but you forgot one thing *slides jewel case out of my sleeve* My highschool computing teacher was my friend's Dad

Imagining a modern version of Macbeth where all his actions are predicated on the advice of ai chatbots.

Always seeing this at the top of my feed annoys me more than it probably should. It looks like i'm saying "whats up?" to nobody in particular. And I'm not. @twittersupport can we change this please?