I will never forget what it felt like to have a biopsy. My whole life was supposed to be ahead of me. Fresh college graduate getting ready to do my master’s degree in Shanghai. Awarded a full scholarship. Life was a kaleidoscope of excitement! Until my physician pressed her fingers into my neck

From the moment the biopsy results turned positive, my life changed. A single pebble meeting a rock, unaware it was a boulder. The avalanche that followed would turn my twenties from a decade of potential into an era of swift decline.

(On chronic illness and living with suicidal ideation, choosing to keep going in spite of it all) christinedaae.substack.com/p/the-art-of...

This is tragic and beautiful and, for some of us, very relatable. For anyone who is, has, or loves someone that has experienced some kind of chronic illness will appreciate it.

📌 Hello, I'm Kitan! I'm a beautiful and bubbly queer nonbinary Japanese person from Japan! ٩( ᐛ )و ALL OF THE SOCIAL LINKS: 💗 linktr.ee/mishimakitan Website: 💗 mishimakitan.com Please check out the thread below for some of my notable credits! 😊

I will never forget what it felt like to have a biopsy. My whole life was supposed to be ahead of me. Fresh college graduate getting ready to do my master’s degree in Shanghai. Awarded a full scholarship. Life was a kaleidoscope of excitement! Until my physician pressed her fingers into my neck

The gothic heroine plight of knowing your place was never in this world, and your fairy ways have made you prone to melancholy again

My Vietnamese friend just told me about Caodaism, and it has to be the most fascinating religion I’ve ever seen. I’m in awe. We have Buddha, Laozi, Li Bai, Confucius, Guanyin, Guan Yu, Jesus, and Jiang Ziya. All of them. *Together.* I am nerding out SO badly right now

Gratitude. Whenever I take my levothyroxine, I try to remember that my body is doing the best it can for me. Whenever my cycles come and my abdomen grips me like an unforgiving vice, I try to remember. My body is not trying to be my enemy; it’s running every single day to keep me alive.

The pain is a reminder that we live, after all. So why do I feel like a ghost in the graveyard of my own dreams? christinedaae.substack.com/p/the-art-of...

Gratitude. Whenever I take my levothyroxine, I try to remember that my body is doing the best it can for me. Whenever my cycles come and my abdomen grips me like an unforgiving vice, I try to remember. My body is not trying to be my enemy; it’s running every single day to keep me alive.

God, a thousand times this. That's the thing with dopamine being tied to task initiation - there's a set of gears that won't - CAN'T - engage in my brain, but none of my problems are with analysis. I can be fully aware of all the necessary steps, and stressing about starting, and just... not.

Frankenstein 🤝 Phantom of the Opera Deciding against going to the North Pole after all

Ah! I can’t believe I forgot to say something! So, my first mini concert was supposed to be at the end of November. But with my Achilles tendon getting injured, it’s been postponed. Exact date TBD, but *maybe* January? We’ll see! I’ll keep you all updated, and sorry about this!

When the president gets ordered, multiple times, to pay out federal food benefits as the law requires:

Today’s Substack article is going to be about living with suicidal ideation, chronic illness, and cultivating whimsy in spite of it This is going to be extremely tough for me to write, but I hope that if it helps even one person, then that’s enough It’s the anniversary of my heart attack, so

Flu cases are skyrocketing in Japan right now, so I guess it’s a good thing I’m on medical leave, aka staying inside and not going anywhere (except the hospital on Tuesday. welp)

Today marks one year since I had a heart attack at my former toxic job in Japan. I can’t believe it’s been a year. Things are hard. Sometimes I’m grateful to be alive. Other times I wish it had taken me. These two extremes dance within me, in an endless tango with an inconsistent tempo.

Check out my latest article for UnseenJapan!

I really miss having private accounts because there is SO MUCH GOING ON that I do not talk about on social media and I can’t

So, if you emailed my kimono business account after August and I never saw it.. It’s because I got a new phone this summer and had no idea I never put in the password for that email address 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

Sun Tzu’s Art of War, but for American politics, and it’s just filled with obvious advice like “have a candidate that people like,” and “actually engage with the voters instead of just saying vote for me or you get the other guy.”

I am interested in talking to anyone who has both: + Created a novel, comic, video game, etc + Loves playing DnD, Pathfinder, or another TTRPG about the impact tabletop gaming has had on your creative process. Let me know if you are interested in talking about it with me.

Finally done at the hospital! My doctor had a surgery that ran over, but! An extra week of medical leave has been granted Photographed the 診断書 already for my boss so I can take it easy until the 18th at the minimum

...sometimes I'm glad I live alone because I must sound crazy when I write articles. I'll be like YEAH THAT LINE IS PERFECT CHEF'S KISS WHOO-HOO

I'm looking to speak to people who rely on SNAP about what this past week has been like. If that's you, please reach out, or pass along to others. Can be anonymous. Signal: marisakabas.04 Email: [email protected]

“She’s not as nice as she thinks she is. She’s way too happy to confront people she doesn’t like.” When I was growing up mixed race, nobody stood up for me when three white girls corned me in junior high in the bathroom calling me slurs like ch*nk and j*p.

I am BEGGING YOU, we are so close, and our 15% off new subscriptions sale ends TODAY so if you've been thinking about it, today is the day to make the plunge.

My friend once tried to sell Americans in China for $1 Jkjk but When I was first in Shanghai in undergrad, a typhoon was headed towards us for our final night. We were out having a goodbye celebration (Maoming Rd iirc?) 

Week 2 of medical leave! Being inside for a whole week after hardly being in my own house for months and months was amazing. I love that life has slowed down, even if hobbling around isn’t very fun

Still injured. Still ordering groceries to the door. Every time I open the door to grab them, I giggle, “I’m an AMOEBA!” victoriously, one arm reaching for the handle of the bag

Temporary roommate and very good friend moved out today I’m gonna miss him a lot; I’ve had somebody in my house since September so it’s a little lonely (also kinda scary because of my ankle injury)

NaNoWriMo is gone but that doesn’t mean you can’t write this November! What are you writing goals?

Will my friends and mutuals be mad if I say I’m the annoying one who gets excited for Christmas right after Halloween?

So, I think my job is finally accepting that I’m resigning at the end of the month (what do you mean it’s November already?!) and I feel both nervous and relieved It’s really scary but I think I need to not be in full-time ESL anymore

i hate that AI has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online, which is my primary use of social media. i don't even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in paris

Me: I’m on medical leave from injuring my Achilles tendon. This is the first time I have been in my house for more than just sleeping, showering, and getting dressed. I should actually take time to *recover* Also me: I am the most selfish person alive for focusing on myself

If I were on BookTok, I would probably be cancelled for saying that Calaena in Throne of Glass is just Temu Surreal SaDiablo (SJM was *deeply* inspired by Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels series) Calaena is insufferably boring to me and I couldn’t get past the first chapter tbh.

Happy Halloween to all of my ghostlings! I wish I wasn’t injured this year, but it is what it is. I have Jennifer’s Body ready to go tonight, and I’ve spent the week recovering

You know what we need in Japan? A fantasy-themed ball.

You've helped me get to $399 of $925 for Nov. rent—almost halfway there! Thank you; every repost, and every single dollar, is helping this queer, disabled freelancer (and their sweet senior dog) stay housed.

Raise your hand if you’re a singer and Kpop Demon Hunters hit a little too close to home at times 💖

My guy, I lived in China for seven years. I did my master's degree at a university in Shanghai, all in Mandarin. I have edited academic journals focused in Sinology, and used to teach PhD candidates in Shanghai also. I probably have a better idea than you of how things work in China

Media literacy is now an endangered species. Politicians push drinking raw milk and swim in sewage-tainted creeks with their grandchildren. It’s hard to sustain Mill’s faith that society learns from falsehoods. ...so, is it morally acceptable to start gatekeeping?

I'm so behind on too many things, mainly because of how utterly busy I was this month; I didn't have a day off until my achilles tendon decided to pop, and now I'm finally getting (slowly) caught up on everything. Writing articles, editing and sensitivity beta reading, everything is such a mess

Today's forthcoming Substack article will be about China's move to legally restrict influencers from speaking about serious topics such as medicine, law, and finance without proper qualifications, the current internet climate regarding influencers and freedom of speech, and where we draw the line

FINALLY UPDATED.

I’m finally working on the rewrite of my fantasy book series again and they’re entering a certain country for the first time and it’s making my heart ache I MISS CHINA 😭

I wanted to take a break from talking about JP politics, but I will say one thing As someone whose Japanese grandmother is from Hiroshima, a hibakusha, I am really devastated by the concept that PM Takaichi would nominate Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize

I knew I’d been ridiculously busy lately, but what do you MEAN it’s been THAT long since I’ve written any fiction?!