Where does Beelzebub buy his furniture? Hell For Leather.

How much toze would Faye Tozer toze, if Faye Tozer would toze toze?

If Mark E. Smith was still alive and had the onerous task of announcing the death of Pam St Clement’s Eastenders character, the headline would be ‘“Pat-R.I.P.” Dispenser’. #FallFriday

The Islington Assembly Hall, and The Courettes. Imagine a Danish White Stripes (The Hvid Striber, if I can be so bold) puppeted by Suzi Quatro.

Hugh Cornwell at The Islington Assembly Hall, last night:

*whispers* “Horse.”

Is there a more unimaginatively named geographical feature than The Rocky Mountains?

16° again tomorrow.

Last walk with Sybil today (she’s retiring to the shires), Olive disgraced herself in some compost, Bluey was perfect as usual, and Albie didn’t like being left…

Today’s ‘Guess The Blunt Instrument’ Competition:

A poppy isn’t just for Christmas.

Aer Lingus is oral sex on a plane.

Follow-up question to how much wood would a woodchuck chuck:

A Bon Bon is my favourite Christmas sweet, bar Humbug.

Christmas hasn’t arrived yet, because it’s November.

On this day in 1969: The Beatles defend a free kick against The Rolling Stones.

I’m sad meringue, Don’t rhyme with retinue, Instead we say meringue, Like it chimes with ‘Kerrang!’

Some views with Nelson and (blurry-distant) Maisie:

Cloud forms in the morning I know, I know, it’s cirrus…

James Brown discarded song titles…

Pop News: ‘70s glampop duo Chalk & Cheese have decided to re-form due to musical differences

No one expects November to be part of sheen season (sheeson, if you’ll allow).

Sad to hear Gilson Lavis has died, this is one of the great drum-along-to tunes... Squeeze: 'Night Nurse' www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwg2...

It turned out nice again, with patient Maisie…

“My friend from Yorkshire has a new quill-covered monotreme, belonging to the family Tachyglossidae.” “Echidna?” “No I saw it with my own eyes.”

“Tell me what it is you like so much about fireworks?” “BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.”

Some views with Olive:

Albie met his new walker and pack today. He’ll still see Maisie, Nelson and Olive for a while before the official handover.

If Elon Musk thinks Spinney-on-the-Wold is overrun by baby-eating goblins because Nigel Farage isn’t Prime Minister, he’s going to shit himself when he finds out about the new mayor of New York.

Anything is possible m8, but you don’t follow me and didn’t like my post so push off.

Pop Fact: before his musical career took off, young David Bowie made ends meet by flashing mourners in Brompton Cemetery.

Vic Chesnutt just said ‘loquacious,’ so we have to up our game.

So you don’t like East Asian mushrooms?What a shiit take.

On the way to Whitley Bay…

Cocktails and Tapas with a twist:

The best thing about Halloween is having Tim Curry the next day.

Admiral Lord Collingwood, and all he surveys:

We’ve been on a Muriel tour of North Shields…

Counterpoint: don’t tell us what to do, wind your neck in, and tell us a joke. I dare you.

Some views from North Tyneside…

Train sunsets…

The Ostentatious Halloween Decoration bar has been raised:

The automated announcer on this tube train is one station behind where we are.

Some views with Nelson and Olive:

… I’d give it five minutes if I were you.

"It says here you're Fryred." #CelebrityTraitors

Joe calls earwax 'cauliflower cheese'. #CelebrityTraitors

Ooh, five thousand pounds! #CelebrityTraitors

Joe wearing shorts; is he a postman or something? #CelebrityTraitors

"Do they mean physical strength?" #CelebrityTraitors