Good evening, gatekeepers of the one true light.

Life comes at you fast.

If that bloke off of Adolescence can get one…

Friday, including a first outdoor ice cream of the summer (we’re not surfing btw):

“Mayburgh, Thornborough, Knowlton, Avebury, Stone. Today we’re asking: what’s the best henge?”

David Emanuel and Lady Diana Spencer relax during a dress fitting for her wedding to Prince Charles, July 25th 1981.

“Snow White, Hull.” @accidentalp.bsky.social

Oh, mate.

The Amaryllis is all but out:

They’re called Ruddy Turnstones because that’s what you say while trying to get a decent picture of one…

l've got a list of penis euphemisms as long as a Portuguese sailor's arm.

Saturday

Don't listen to the idiots who say Margaret Thatcher survived on four hours sleep. She's dead.

“Ooh, he’ll be badly missed.”

The well at Tynemouth Priory, where Trappist monk Arnold Keeting was thrown to his death on February 4th 1686. Just before the ordeal he was handed a quill and paper, with which he wrote “aaarrrrrghhh, you fuckers” while descending.

Punxsutawney Phil curry for tea later.

We went to the coldest place on earth to see the giant Bobbins of Hope (includes some #GlassBricks for @loudbasket.bsky.social.)

"My bad.” Michael Jackson

Another French horn lesson later. It's nice to keep your hand in.

Sunday

‘Av a cab

Saturday

You can’t use plasticine models to advertise things these days, because of woke.

"The floppy-collared crown prince of daft." @secondmentions.bsky.social

Picture on Gary Kemp’s Instagram of him listening at the train toilet door:

Audrey Hepburn, 1968 by Cecil Beaton

Friday

Touching grass is the new pulled pork.

We’re planning a trip to Hexham, and as I’ve never been the first 60 minutes spent there will be my Hexham Induction Hour.

Top Tip: save money on expensive audio books by reading out loud

Burns Night is bath night!

First solid bowel movement since Andy Burnham wrote to the Chair of Labour’s National Executive Committee seeking permission to enter the selection process for a candidate for the forthcoming Gorton and Denton by-election. Really makes you think.

"Can I interest you in the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ?"

What Twitter users face on Bluesky:

App Idea: like Shazam but it recognises and values antiques. Your Own Personal Negus

They shoe horses, don’t they.

I’m rubbish doing alliteration.

Burnley held by Liverpool.

"Just finished rewiring the house of an American singer, songwriter and actress, best known for her highly distinctive singing style, a 1953 recording of 'C'est si bon' and the Christmas novelty song 'Santa Baby'." "Eartha Kit?" "Yes, it's highly dangerous if you don't."

It's now 40 years since Winona Ryder made her cinematic debut as Rina in David Seltzer's coming-of-age film 'Lucas.'

Quote bleat with a black and white picture of your favourite cheese, and the architectural drawings of the shop you first bought it in. Go!

You're still obsessed by a different microblogging site I see.

Where does Beelzebub buy his furniture? Hell For Leather.

How much toze would Faye Tozer toze, if Faye Tozer would toze toze?

If Mark E. Smith was still alive and had the onerous task of announcing the death of Pam St Clement’s Eastenders character, the headline would be ‘“Pat-R.I.P.” Dispenser’. #FallFriday

The Islington Assembly Hall, and The Courettes. Imagine a Danish White Stripes (The Hvid Striber, if I can be so bold) puppeted by Suzi Quatro.

Hugh Cornwell at The Islington Assembly Hall, last night: