You can’t use plasticine models to advertise things these days, because of woke.

"The floppy-collared crown prince of daft." @secondmentions.bsky.social

Can't decide if I prefer one lens (concave) or another )convex (.

Picture on Gary Kemp’s Instagram of him listening at the train toilet door:

Audrey Hepburn, 1968 by Cecil Beaton

Friday

Touching grass is the new pulled pork.

We’re planning a trip to Hexham, and as I’ve never been the first 60 minutes spent there will be my Hexham Induction Hour.

Top Tip: save money on expensive audio books by reading out loud

Burns Night is bath night!

First solid bowel movement since Andy Burnham wrote to the Chair of Labour’s National Executive Committee seeking permission to enter the selection process for a candidate for the forthcoming Gorton and Denton by-election. Really makes you think.

"Can I interest you in the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ?"

What Twitter users face on Bluesky:

App Idea: like Shazam but it recognises and values antiques. Your Own Personal Negus

They shoe horses, don’t they.

I’m rubbish doing alliteration.

Burnley held by Liverpool.

"Just finished rewiring the house of an American singer, songwriter and actress, best known for her highly distinctive singing style, a 1953 recording of 'C'est si bon' and the Christmas novelty song 'Santa Baby'." "Eartha Kit?" "Yes, it's highly dangerous if you don't."

It's now 40 years since Winona Ryder made her cinematic debut as Rina in David Seltzer's coming-of-age film 'Lucas.'

Quote bleat with a black and white picture of your favourite cheese, and the architectural drawings of the shop you first bought it in. Go!

You're still obsessed by a different microblogging site I see.

Where does Beelzebub buy his furniture? Hell For Leather.

How much toze would Faye Tozer toze, if Faye Tozer would toze toze?

If Mark E. Smith was still alive and had the onerous task of announcing the death of Pam St Clement’s Eastenders character, the headline would be ‘“Pat-R.I.P.” Dispenser’. #FallFriday

The Islington Assembly Hall, and The Courettes. Imagine a Danish White Stripes (The Hvid Striber, if I can be so bold) puppeted by Suzi Quatro.

Hugh Cornwell at The Islington Assembly Hall, last night:

*whispers* “Horse.”

Is there a more unimaginatively named geographical feature than The Rocky Mountains?

16° again tomorrow.

Last walk with Sybil today (she’s retiring to the shires), Olive disgraced herself in some compost, Bluey was perfect as usual, and Albie didn’t like being left…

Today’s ‘Guess The Blunt Instrument’ Competition:

A poppy isn’t just for Christmas.

Aer Lingus is oral sex on a plane.

Follow-up question to how much wood would a woodchuck chuck:

A Bon Bon is my favourite Christmas sweet, bar Humbug.

Christmas hasn’t arrived yet, because it’s November.

On this day in 1969: The Beatles defend a free kick against The Rolling Stones.

I’m sad meringue, Don’t rhyme with retinue, Instead we say meringue, Like it chimes with ‘Kerrang!’

Some views with Nelson and (blurry-distant) Maisie:

Cloud forms in the morning I know, I know, it’s cirrus…

James Brown discarded song titles…

Pop News: ‘70s glampop duo Chalk & Cheese have decided to re-form due to musical differences

No one expects November to be part of sheen season (sheeson, if you’ll allow).

Sad to hear Gilson Lavis has died, this is one of the great drum-along-to tunes... Squeeze: 'Night Nurse' www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwg2...

It turned out nice again, with patient Maisie…

“My friend from Yorkshire has a new quill-covered monotreme, belonging to the family Tachyglossidae.” “Echidna?” “No I saw it with my own eyes.”

“Tell me what it is you like so much about fireworks?” “BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.”

Some views with Olive:

Albie met his new walker and pack today. He’ll still see Maisie, Nelson and Olive for a while before the official handover.