END OF SEASON SALE: "Shadows and Gestures - Scripts after M R James" (for solo performance) can be got until the end of April for a mere £10 inc p+p. Only by emailing me at the address here: www.nunkie.co.uk/contact

Has FIFA asked for its Peace Prize back yet?

I once reported a large bearded dragon to the police which was on the roof of a house in my former village.

I once played first vacuum cleaner with a 50-piece symphony orchestra.

stacks of tickets left for "A Pleasing Terror - Two Ghost Stories by M R James" in Levenshulme tomorrow night. Book here aptlevenshulume.eventbrite.co.uk

@joebottomley.bsky.social I just learned something I never knew about 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. I knew Routledge stopped the show every night with Duet for One. But on the final/7th performance on Broadway the audience went so wild they wouldn't stop so she encored the whole number again! All 9 mins!

Yesterday's official 52nd birthday portrait. Lovely walk around Bushy Park in the warm sun. Pleasant change from all the grey and rain.

A friend died this morning and I needed to be alone with my thoughts so I went for a walk through Hookland. Of course, I wasn't quite alone even though I saw no one. @hookland.bsky.social #Hookland

Farage doing the stolen/rigged election shit straight out of the Trump playbook. Quelle surprise. In other news the vile Nick Buckley for Ben Habib's Advance was beaten by the Monster Raving Loonies! #GortonAndDenton

I'm a guest on this award-winning podcast. But don't let that put you off.

Members' not Member's. Sigh. Marketing departments seem to be staffed with people that don't know correct apostrophe use or to proofread.

🎧 A milestone Ep 270 of Jo Durrant’s Beautiful Universe podcast is out Weds: 🤩 @pauldscott.bsky.social shares his Top 10 pieces of theatre inc Shakespeare & Alan Bennett 🪉 Story of a harp at Holst Victorian House  📲 podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/j... 💻 jodurrantsbeautifuluniverse.libsyn.com

Spending a few minutes most days feeding this chap brings a huge smile to my face

Bona to vada your dolly old eke, Kenneth.

Five authors by whom I’ve read at least five books: Kazuo Ishiguro P G Wodehouse John Wyndham Agatha Christie Herge #BookSky💙📚

Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor arrested. Imagine that even being a possibility 20 years ago. Happy birthday, your ex-royal highness. We might go to Pizza Express Woking for dinner tonight...

🎧 Ep 269 of Jo Durrant’s Beautiful Universe podcast is out Weds: 🤩 Jeff & Graham of @attheflicks.bsky.social join me to talk about sci-fi B Movies 🍿 Guests like @pauldscott.bsky.social share their favourite B Movies 📲 podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/j... 💻 jodurrantsbeautifuluniverse.libsyn.com

Does Theatre Have A Bullying Problem? open.substack.com/pub/carlwood...

Those of Sheffield, Bungay, Cambridge and Bristol: there are live performances of great M R James ghost stories coming up in your towns in the next fortnight. Plenty of ticket left. Please come. Details here www.nunkie.co.uk/schedule

Bloke that just called for Starmer to resign...

@ottoenglish.bsky.social Altar Mitty has joined ANOTHER one!

Unboxing videos. Just WHY???

Just had a teenage passenger in a car shout verbal abuse at me as they drove by for no reason. Which was nice.

Apparently Punxsutawney Phil has correctly forecast the winter weather only 30% of the time. This still means he's more accurate than Alexa. #GroundhogDay2026

Plenty of tickets left for live M R James storytelling shows in the next fortnight in Sheffield, Bungay, Cambridge and Bristol. Details and ticket links here www.nunkie.co.uk/schedule

Hate the fact you have to chase for any sort of customer loyalty. Car insurance renewal quote £380. Use a comparison site and find identical cover for £260. Ring up original insurer and they quickly offer £270.

Beginning to think this is not an amaryllis but a triffid.

Guildford has spoken. Not one ticket booked for Melania The Movie today at 17.50! 😂

In case you need cheering up, here's my robin

My great uncle was one of the first to arrive at the liberation of Bergen-Belsen. He would never talk about it and if it was mentioned on TV or radio he would leave the room to be on his own somewhere to deal with his memory being refreshed of what he saw there. #HolocaustMemorialDay

It's Burns' Night, so give your ears a treat and listen to Malcolm Arnold's fabulous interpretation of the great poet's Tam O'Shanter. You're welcome. youtu.be/hB6iEqtJguE?...

Seen on my walk this morning. I make no additional comment...

@jkaconductor.bsky.social many happy returns and welcome to the Fifty Plus Club! It's not too bad...

More than 200,000 Danish citizens have signed a petition to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland. They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”

Accidentally caught two minutes of #TheWeakestLink and I only recognise one of the 'celebrities'.

I mean, we all knew Robert Jenrick was a two-faced duplicitous self-serving hypocrite but in light of his speech today there's just tweet, after tweet, after tweet demonstrating it.

I loathe Farage and Reform, but it would be hilarious if Farage told Jenrick he didn't want him. Won't happen, of course. No matter his protestations that Reform isn't Tory 2.0 it so clearly is. The new nasty party.

Robert Jenrick? Who'd have thought it? Probably anyone that's ever had a dealing with the self-serving little cretin.

First outing to the theatre in 2026 last night to see The Rivals update to the 1920s at the Orange Tree, Richmond, long since sold out. Dame Patricia of Hodge is simply divine as Mrs Malaprop. I'd say she's at the pineapple of her career.

Over on X, @britishlibrary.bsky.social states that what is universally acknowledged as one of the weakest novels Agatha Christie ever wrote is one of her finest, presumably because Netflix paid them to hold their launch party there. Really disappointing to see the BL dumbing down like this.

Anyone else finding it hard not to be totally dispirited about the state of the world right now? The hate. The division. The bigotry. The hypocrisy. The entitlement. The fascism. Always been around but becoming more loud.

How can Farage seriously claim not to be Tories 2.0 when so many former-Tories - and mostly the worst ones - have joined Reform?

This beautiful little chap has come to see me in the same spot in the park across the road three out of the last four days. He's already eating mealworms out of my hand.

We must all protect @tobyhadoke.bsky.social for the foreseeable future for the completion of his magnum opus in several parts. This was one of my top three books of last year. Can't wait for Q2 (my favourite).

@andrewmale.bsky.social Barbara Shelley wanted to play both Carla and The Gorgon and wanted to use real snakes - obviously neither happened, to the film's detriment. Agree about Lee; I think Andrew Keir might have been a better fit.

@johnnymains.co.uk @andrewmale.bsky.social Plague and Cash On Demand really are two of Hammer's best. I'd also throw Never Throw Sweets From A Stranger in that list (the film Tony Hinds was most proud of).

Me and my friend

Introduce yourself as what almost killed you: Hello, I'm an HGV driver who wasn't on the route he was supposed to be, who somehow failed to see signs warning of a) roadworks ahead, b) traffic lights ahead, and c) a bend in the road, who was also speeding and smashed into our car.

Happy Easter! It'll be Christmas before you know it... (These have actually been out for over a week)

@accordingtojond.bsky.social expert opinion please. Should the collected Ghost Stories for Christmas be watched so that they end on Christmas Eve, watched starting on Christmas Eve so they stretch into the new year, or just when the bloody hell you want?