TIL “They have another think coming” is the original phrase, not “they have another THING coming.” What.

Calendar idea: 12 portrait painters each paint one other painter using their own unique style. I think that would be so magical. #artsky

Thought I lost an important work video. Big shoutout to Past Jill for being too lazy to delete shit off her phone.

Everything is awful. Here's a baby goat with a tiny bouquet of flowers picked right out of the lawn at The Beer Garden

I just saw a guy use the word "algorithm" instead of "routine" so I guess I'll just walk into the ocean now

I’m kind of obsessed with Nick Offerman’s character in Margo’s Got Money Troubles.

hey, people who like high-top tables and stools: why do you hate short people so much?

yesterday I put the bi in “skin tissue biopsy”

I complimented a co-worker’s Canada Goose tattoo today. Me: “Did you know geese are deaf?” Her: “I got it because of a poem I like. I don’t actually know much about them—“ Me: “They’re always going ‘HUH?’” Her: *blank stare* “Oh. It’s a joke.” Me: “…….” Me:

I only buy furniture made by experts

hey guys today I’m doing a haul video of my cpap supplies order including some totally adorable nasal pillows. make sure to like and subscribe

We should bring back rain bonnets. Turns out our grandmas were onto something.

y’all, I just learned the word BAFFLEGAB and I’m in love.

Every time I see the name "Sean", I'm reminded that I once, in the third grade, very confidently told a smart kid named Sean that he didn't know how to spell his own name.

y’all, I just realized SIN is right in the word CASINO. I’m probably the first person to make that connection, right?

Is anyone else experiencing an influx of people named “James” in their life? I know like six guys named James and not one of them goes by “Jim” or “Jimmy.”

I couldn’t think of the term “basset hound” early so I called it a “low beagle.” In other news, I got to pet a low beagle earlier. Very soft ears!

Americans: NO KINGS! Americans when a shitty king comes to town or gets married: OOH, ROYALTY! 👑

I’ve been rewatching GENTLEMAN JACK. Holy shit, it’s so, *so* good. It deserved far more episodes than it got. #costumeDramas #periodDramas

I love having to hold a remote in my hand while watching TV so I can adjust the volume because managing sound levels apparently isn’t a thing anymore.

My favorite art history genre is "Judith beheading Holofernes"

I am also known as a busta.

I love this so much.

I can’t believe we’re calling them “Trump’s advisors” and not “the Liquor Cabinet.”

should i buzz him in?

To the person blasting Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit” on repeat from their mini van just now, I hope you’re doing okay.

I can’t believe we’re calling them “Trump’s advisors” and not “the Liquor Cabinet.”

This movie is for the bi girlies.

But she's driving and striving and hugging the turns And thinking of someone for whom she still CHURNS 🧈

Me: “Tom Hanks has a new WWII documentary series coming out.” Husband: “He owns the rights to WWII so, yeah, makes sense.”

Always a good sign when a town's top attraction on TripAdvisor is the visitor information kiosk.

I just tried to iron a dress and I swear it looks just as wrinkled now, 40 minutes later. (There's a lot of pleats.) My question is this: I'm taking the dress into a seamstress for alterations. Would it be distasteful to ask her to iron it for me?

Excerpt from a 1782 travel journal, written by Charles Moritz: “There is another kind of bread and butter usually eaten with tea, which is toasted by the fire, and is incomparably good. This is called toast.” #history

“Jill, you need to give me snackies. It is needed for national security.” -my dog

How often do you think about it happening? 1️⃣ Rarely/never 2️⃣ At least once a month 3️⃣ At least once per week 4️⃣ At least once per day 📊 Show results

I did not consent to this public roasting.

Happy Sick Jan Season to everyone who celebrates.

I know a lot of people are pissed at Draft2Digital right now. This post (an author interviewed a D2D team member) made everything seem very reasonable. #writingcommunity www.facebook.com/578370974/po...

May professional graphic designers never, ever doubt their value.

I want a girl with a short skirt and a

Nick Offerman affectionately referencing Megan Mullally every time he’s on TV is the greenest of green flags.

Businesses: “Support local! Keep money in the community!” The exact same businesses: *posts a shitty flyer ChatGPT crapped out*

A Wishbone documentary is coming out and I am full of feelings. I will probably cry. Wishbone was significant to my formative years.

If you are working on making your voice travel further when speaking, is it Project: Project?

Literally every photo of Sam Altman looks like he just found out Ronan Farrow is investigating him.

This is blowing my mind.

Man it sure would be a pity if people flooded J.K. Rowling's hate fund with fake applications, I hope no one does that. jkrwf.org/check-eligib...

I always thought Caroline of Brunswick should get a biopic. Now I’m 100% certain it’s a full-on crime if she doesn’t get a movie. This book is fun, it’s got intrigue and drama, Italian villas, and stars a baddie. Fantastic. Someone adapt this right the heck now. #booksky #history #nonfiction 💙📚

#booksky 📚💙