Walking into the gym and this guy leaving says “Oh wow, you look like Andrew Tate from far away”, so I think I’m going to need to reevaluate a whole bunch of my life choices.

In the FIVE ENTIRE MONTHS of bargaining since Alberta teachers rejected the previous contract offer, the province offered [checks notes] a free Covid shot and one additional EA per school. This was never a real negotiation and they know it. This strike is on them. Solidarity with teachers.

I don’t mean to alarm anyone but my wife took Tylenol when she was pregnant and six months later TWO babies came out of her. Be careful out there.

Today was a really great day.

Is there a word for countries where you're not allowed to make fun of the leader and his supporters on TV? Because I think there might be a word for countries where you're not allowed to make fun of the leader and his supporters on TV.

I wish I could tell you that my toddlers were the ones that drew these. I really wish I could tell you that.

No one could have predicted this. #ableg

I wrote about one of my favorite books today for @thepom.bsky.social and about wanting to give my kids the gift of wasting security. www.the-pom.com/p/why-i-star...

I don't want anyone to be shot, man. That's the whole point.

Wow. Y’all weren’t kidding about 3-year olds.

Maybe if the Premier spent a little less time vilifying educators and a little more time in libraries herself, she would learn that it's called malicious compliance, not "vicious compliance". www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

Just saw that the UCP’s book ban has resulted in several Ayn Rand books being removed from school libraries. If their supporters could read, they’d be PISSED.

Can't believe they missed the opportunity to call it a clucktch.

I just ate one single cookie and my brain got flooded with so many happy chemicals it was like “What if we had like six more?” This is why I can never try hard drugs.

As a child psychiatrist whose job is working with teens contemplating suicide, let me respond to this with the nuance and thoughtfulness it deserves: WHAT. THE. ABSOLUTE. FUCK.

“I ate all my cucumber daddy!”

I'm looking at real estate listings and just saw an eating area with cream-coloured carpet. People without kids really do live fundamentally different lives.

Had a 4AM meeting for work this morning, and it reaffirmed one of my life axioms: no one should ever be awake between 3-5AM. It's too early to be up and it's too late to still be up.

The southern end of Ontario is farther south than the northern end of California.

Congrats to Pierre Poilievre for overcoming all obstacles and managing to win possibly the safest Conservative seat in the country. Tune in next week when he takes on a 4-year old in an arm wrestling competition and challenges my nonagenarian grandmother to a street race.

I don't think enough people appreciate how many of the basic perks of modern employment (weekends, paid overtime, parental leave, etc.) only exist because of unions. Every. Single. Worker benefits from unions, even if you've never been a member. Defend collective bargaining.

I miss when Westjet didn’t suck.

My wife and I took an Uber last night that was a Tesla and my wife is so perennially off-line that she thought the company was called Tulsa and I don’t think I’ve ever been more envious of someone in my entire life.

They knew exactly what they were doing.

If there was an olympics for picking the right size Tupperware container to fit food, I think I could medal.

It’s honestly embarrassing to watch Carney pretend that this “border security” nonsense is legitimate. Trump’s not doing this because of fentanyl! He’s doing it because he’s delusional. Stop debasing yourself like this.

“Daddy, it’s for you!” Aw…thanks, love.

If you have young kids, you should read this. And if you have grown kids and now find yourself compelled to remind parents of young kids how fast it all goes, you should really read this.

This house listing has two photos of the same room, one real and one AI, and the AI one straight-up erased one of the windows and made the room bigger.

Hey buddy, they named a festival after you.

Our toddlers were getting too big for their cribs, so I spent the last couple months making them big girl beds. They were a lot of work, but it wasn’t that long ago I would have given anything for the chance to have kids to build things for. What a privilege this life is.

You know when you complain about the hard parts of having a baby and people jump in with “Just wait”? We just spent an hour at the park while my 3 year olds played independently and we chatted with other parents, so I just want you to know that those people are fucking liars and it does get better.

Read one too many news stories about toddlers that had gotten out of their house and been found wandering the neighbourhood and NOPE, that’s one worry I am not prepared to deal with.

The friendly, quiet Muslim family that lived across the alley from us moved out and in their place there’s this new white guy who drives the loudest %&$#ing car I’ve ever heard, and I’m about to turn into whatever the opposite of a racist is.

It’s funny how we realized 20 years ago that air conditioning is a non-negotiable in cars, yet somehow it gets treated like a frivolous luxury when it comes to houses.

And just like that, somehow you’re three. Empathetic, hilarious, energetic. Watching your bond grow is truly the best thing I’ve ever experienced. Even on our hardest days, I’m so grateful for you.

I can’t believe I have to say this, but horrible things happening to kids aren’t somehow less horrible just because their parents have shitty politics. This isn’t complicated.

Remember a few years back when manufacturers tried to force 3D TVs on us and we all collectively went "lol no" and then they disappeared forever? We need to do that again with AI.

I am a RESPONSIBLE parent who sets appropriate BOUNDARIES for my children and that’s why they’re only allowed to have a LITTLE BIT of queso with their 6AM chips.

Our toddlers have started to come into our room first thing in the morning and I finally understand why king size beds are a thing.

Asked my Uber driver to take me to the grocery store and she said “No” and insisted on driving me to the moon instead. Terrible customer experience. Zero stars.

I always wondered what kind of dad I would be: sports dad, construction dad, grill dad. Turns out I’m “Excitedly tell all the other parents at the birthday party about how awesome minivans are” dad.

Thank God he didn’t do something extreme like wear a tan suit.

“Non-preferred parent” is such a benign and sterile term for something that can feel so absolutely soul-crushing in practice.

Starting to think that tying my mental health to the actions of a group of men thousands of kilometers away playing a game that I watch on a box in my living room might not be the best life choice.

My toddlers have discovered bandaids. On a related note, does anyone know how difficult it is to take out a second mortgage?

“Everyone should evacuate Tehran!” Tehran has 10 million people and covers a greater area than Toronto. Be serious.

Happy Father’s Day, gents. Congrats on the sex.

It took three long years, but my daughter just crawled onto my lap, looked at me with her perfect little face and said the three words I’ve been waiting so long to hear: “I want Bluey!”

I'm starting to think they may not actually care about free speech.