I think the average american who does not possess the intelligence you might find in an orange or a sandwich deserves healthcare and housing and a job drilling holes in sheet metal and 2 hours of football on television per week but you should never be allowed to have opinions on anything

I love that all of the “why has there been a mysterious rise in cancer among young people” articles are just like “it’s probably ultra-processed foods,” a hand-wavey term that seems to mean “yeah we have no idea but it’s probably 1 or 12 of several hundred ingredients good luck out there kids”

*pulls this out of your ear* Hey, wait a minute 👁️

God this is so funny

The [figurative, allegorical and in no way implying actual threatening language as it is defined within the TOS] Long Knives truly cannot come soon enough for some collaborators, this is pathetic, don’t you feel ashamed?

Beyond the obvious Copyright-Safe-Definitely-Not-the-Punisher-Logo effect, is the shape of the bottom supposed to evoke something? A pick comb? One of those bookmarks that creases the pages?

Tactical posting strike Preemptive posting strike (defensive) Surgical posting strike Unilateral posting strike

Et tu, Blue-te?

GUYS it’s NOT FUNNY, Mundi sin Caesaribus only act like this when they’re VERY stressed

👍

Just found out that the number of Republicans specifically who do not consume any alcohol has risen sharply in the past few years and I’m genuinely fascinated, is this like a manosphere thing, or a religious revivalist thing, or?

the thing to remember about the "so you hate waffles" guy is that he's not just imagining something you didn't say. he's not just imagining that you are a bad person because of a thing you didn't say. he is also picturing you fucking his wife. that's why he's upset. you are actively fucking his wife

It’s unpleasant to dwell on but sometimes I really do wonder if the haute bourgeoisie was ever NOT a bunch of pedosadist kiddiefuckers

What the hell is “Dirty Soda” and why the FUCK are MORMONS getting credit for what seems to just be trendy gentrified Italian Soda?

SIR, Permission to Lib Out, SIR!

This has got to be one of the funniest lines Kendrick has ever written like, ME. Literally, me.

Look, I don’t disagree that the demands and agitation toward mgmt should be sharpened, disciplined, structured, that this is catharsis more than action proper. I just don’t see how you look at the last 10 years of politics and think “be less obnoxious” is a winning strat

Damn this shit is kinda making me want waffles ngl

Anarchists used to be like “No Gods, No Masters” and blow shit up. These days they’re like “Let Me Be Clear: if you like your god, uhh You Can Keep Him”

*in the reptile house at the zoo* Friend: you mean ‘mothering’ in like the slay queen boots down yass faggot way, right? Me (thinking about a primeval cimmerian interminable twilight preceding awareness, where fear and hunger have the same unmediated immediacy as my own teeth): yeah, like that.

Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man…The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary.

What do you all think of Grice’s maxims?

Some of you are crypto-Platonists , but don’t worry, we will fix that after the revolution

The government is shutdown so I know the cia isn’t paying some of you which makes this all sadder somehow

You ever just Yeah

Logging on

It’s a lousy deterrent in that it’s such a whiny stupid little thing and also not a bad way to go by any metric—pretty painless. But the psychology here seems to hinge on how fucking embarrassing it would be to be taken out by a pathetic gay little drone, and that’s real 21st century warfare

I would be mad as hell if I got got by one of those gay little Palantir drones that’s smaller than a hummingbird. If the whole time-dilation-during-last-moments thing is real I’d spend the phenomenological equivalent of a few millennia just thinking about how cucked I feel, the dishonor of it all

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Oh well, guess it’s nothing to worry about then! 🤪

It’s a fascinating fuckup because in context it reads like a sort of “man bites dog” scrambling of subject object etc, in a list of allusions to high crime levels, except I don’t even know what he would have meant to say, how he didn’t notice, and why he just continues on without correcting himself

Do you think that some of the original character design descriptions from the Bible for seraphim etc were written by guys who made the mistake of looking in the wrong chimney while out of their gourd on some ergot poisoning or something

“RNC Whisperer” analyst on CNN, circa mid-2028: So it’s important to understand that this platform is about rhetoric as much as policy—take “Lock Up ALL Professors,” that’s a broad anti-institutional gesture. At MOST they might want to arrest the trans ones and MAYBE 1/4 of the ones who aren’t whi

el oh el, man

One of the most unhinged things I remember having to learn in school was the term “rice paddy mentality” which I think[?] is just a Malcom Gladwell-ism claiming that Asian countries are good at math because of deeply embedded cultural patterns of work ethic related to different cereal crops lmao

Girlboss who joins a polycule and immediately does a hostile takeover

You know it’s gonna be good when there’s a whole separate Wikipedia page dedicated to “Sexuality of [Historical Figure]”

they should invent a nonbinary halloween where everything is a little fucked up and twisted

Huge opportunity for gay couples consisting of one corn-fed blonde bearish midwesterner and one guy who looks vaguely southern-Italian in the sense that he could have literally been the model for the statue of David

How many Luigi Halloween costumes are we about to see lmaoo

Already a leading opiate import hub!

"your body is your wife" - st. augustine of hippo

I can’t do this shit dawg just send one of those Palantir micro-drones my way already fuck this shit

I’ve never been that keen on the law of identity, personally

SIR, Permission to Lib Out, SIR!

“RNC Whisperer” analyst on CNN, circa mid-2028: So it’s important to understand that this platform is about rhetoric as much as policy—take “Lock Up ALL Professors,” that’s a broad anti-institutional gesture. At MOST they might want to arrest the trans ones and MAYBE 1/4 of the ones who aren’t whi

Bit of a range of approaches to covering the fascist clown show at Quantico today, most of them carefully, politely neutral but honestly it is kinda wild how few articles even seem to mention Don talking about training up the troops with live urban combat in US cities. Certainly few leading w that