Welcome to the capitalist innovation museum we got - scam machine - psychosis inducing machine - weapons of mass destruction - button you push that makes the planet hotter - markets that intentionally starve people - clothes that fall apart after washing them 1 time - medicine you can’t afford

Also, I have a post game-night headache, which happens almost every morning after a game, and which I can't explain.

Rpg night last night. Continuing our Vaesen game. Really starting to feel a disconnct with my character. They just seem totally useless in every situation we end up in. Like the skills I gave them are never needed in any scene ever, and its becoming a maor bummer.

I have made a tiny batch of walnut ink, from the shells of the black walnut tree in the neighbor's yard. Since this pic was taken, it got boiled down further to aout 1/3 of what's seen here, and darkened. But I went out for a walk and collected a bunch more whole walnuts for a second, larger batch.

Finally, the hot days are over. Autumn weather is here at last. Finally I can exist without such fear of the scalding sun. If you are a summer enjoyer, why? It's the worst season by far, shit in every way.

I have spent all afternoon winding thread from skeins onto bobbins... please kill me.

PROTOMEN ACT III SOON, THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I guess it's 'tober already... As much as love spooky season, I need Time to just chill out for a while and slow the hell down.

Bread has happened. Pray for me.

Watched episode 1 of Murderbot this evening. Enjoyed it, but I have some minor issues. I won't get into them, except for the most nitpicky, petty one: Why does Murderbot have hair!? They should not have any hair until they purposly take on a human disguise.

I don't want to be *that guy* who claims to have things without being diagnosed... but fuck, depression and axiety would explain a lot, I think. Too bad I'll probably never find out for sure (only myself to blame on that last point, admittedly)

I eated chicken tenders

Tangential, if I made a video game, I'd want it to be a low poly or pixel art animal crossing type game, possibly side scrolling, but make it amost perpetually rainy, and set it on some sort of scaffold out in the sea. I don't know why I want this, but I do.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten rid of my 3DS. If only so I could play New Leaf again.

Baked a loaf to turn into garlic bread for dinner. I like baking bread, but don't really know what I'm doing. It turned out waaaaay lighter and soft-crusted than my breads usually do (like a supermarket kaiser roll, but big) and I dont know why 😅

Didn't do get much "real" stuff done today (portfolio work, sending correspondance to folks I owe replies, etc). But I *did* do a bunch of artsy stuff: finished sculpting a mini (can't share yet), carved a new mini lino block, made a handful of prints on cloth to trade and make into patches.

QRS with your orange art (𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑑𝑟𝑜𝑝 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑘, 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒)

Went for a small walk. That helped a bit. Finally got started on a little extra sculpting i meant to begin in the morning. But I have a session of Vaesen tonight and a headache that's not subsiding.

Today is turning into a pretty bad mental health day.

AI needs to die. The negative environmental impact of AI use alone is enough to never use them. AI will destroy everything if we don't stop it now. We can't even opt out of its use entirely.

Been sculpting a mini for the community of my fave indy 28 game, which will get cast and handed out at events 'n' stuff. But that means I've been shrimp-posed over the kitchen table with putty and sculpting tools until my back is horribly aching

I was a michaels earlier today. They have Gunpla kits. I almost bought a funky zaku gunpla.

we need to wipe America's hard drive and reinstall the OS but with a good one this time

If you happen to be canceling streaming services for whatever reason, maybe throw a few bucks to a creative's Patreon or Ko-fi. Many have monthly tiers starting as low as $1, which may not sound like much, but if they get enough sign-ups, it could be life-changing money for those living on the edge.

Prints! 20 of 'em! And very few are fuckups!

I need to be working on things: work for my portfolio, messages I owe people, projects I've been meaning to finish for literal years... But I'm just struck with this total paralysis. I am unable to get to work on any of it, but miserable and hating myself for getting nothing done.

Also got some self-adhesive laminate sheets... so combine with matte sticker paper, some stamps I carved, and a little watercolour, and it's handmade sticker time! Just have a lot of cutting out in front of me.

A couple watercolour mixed media sketch pages. One only half done.

Some test prints

“I firmly believe that everyone should be doing everything in their power to do what we can to end the genocide in Palestine." Game designers band together again to extend critical aid to Palestinians in Gaza.

Lino block has been carved for the snarky lighthouse print. Also pictured, some soon to be bookmarks.

UwU

I see so many people on here talking matter-of-factly about how they’re constantly breaking down and crying at work and like how do so few people realize capitalism is pure evil?

Roughing out a possible idea for a new print. I understand the urge behind it (my social battery is teensy tiny) but I get so sick of the "I want get away from everyone and live alone in a cabin the woods" mindset. Solitude won't save us; Our isolation from one another is part of the problem.

Last night's Wildsea Session didn't go well. Technically, it wasn't a real session, but a mid-campaign check-in and Session 0 redo, intending to address issues we've had with the game. Went ok, but slolwy until near the end when frustrations started getting really bad... and now I'm just bummed.

I need more sci-fi and fantasy tabletop wargames to embrace micro-scale models. I love a 28mm mini, but there's just something about 6-10mm models that are incredibly charming in a way larger scales aren't, and it's soooomich easier to field a large force of them.

Time to dust off this oldie but a goodie:

Problem solved... annoyingly, the solution was "spend money on better supplies" 🥲 Smoother paper, oil based ink instead of water based. The paper is a bummer because I really wanted to use my handmade paper. #blockprinting #linocut

Test prints. They're not coming out so well, and I'm not sure what's causing the problem: paper, pressure, ink type, ink load? If anyone has suggestions or advice, it'd be much appreciated. Done with speedball water based ink, on home made paper. #linocut #printmaking #blockprinting

Planning out a new lino print, but my brain just keeps repeating "I feel like I've basically seen this exact same image out there before, only better. Have I actually? Why can't I remember where?"

I think one of my big problems (god knows I have tons) is that my world is too small. Small conservative town. No car. No local public transit. Nobody nearby with enough commonality to form friendships; Or if there are I don't know how to find them. I like where I live, but I think I need to escape

Just kill me, please. I suck at everything, and the planet would be better off.

Damn... the ol' anxiety is absolutely brutal this afternoon.

I'm probably going to try opening an etsy store to sell blockprints in the near future... I'm guessing I won't earn anything more than pocket change from it, but that's better than the nothing I have coming in right now.

So I'm seeing rumors now that Nelvana has shut down. It was one of the really big animation studios here... I guess job prospects for me have just gotten a whole lot more desperate.

Software prices and subscriptions are so fucking awful. I need a particular software to work on pieces for my 2D rigging portfolio. Years ago, I could have bought a permanent license; But now it's $180CAD/month (and that's a cheaper software than many) 1/3

Pulped a bunch of scrap paper and paper packing material from deliveries and recycled them into new sheets. The book press, unsurprisingly, does a much nicer job of getting the papers nice and flat than I was able to achieve before. I'd like to use these sheets for printing linoblock prints.