“I think you really did just open up 3 holes.” is the sweetest thing anyone has said to me all week.

Bruh… X-Men ‘97 is SO good

Upper?!?!

All niggas know how to do is LIE lol

Overstimulated and understimulated all at the same time lol

I am a SLUT for a good deli sandwich + kettle cooked chips.

You sissies are something else because why would a complete stranger walk up to me at the let-out talmbout “I heard you Sweet Dick Willy. Someone told me you got that thang on ya” 💀

He’s on a boat today, y’all!

All these humps, good gracious 🤤🤤

There’s a woman over on Threads holding a lighter to a piece of lettuce from a salad she bought in an attempt to convince us her salad comprises of fake ingredients because the lettuce won’t ignite…

Well lemme rewatch season 1 of Avatar so I can go straight into season 2. Can’t wait!!

Before you attempt to guilt trip me into supporting certain endeavors of yours solely on the basis of us being “friends,” please ask yourself when was the last time you even checked in and asked me how tf I’m doing.

Happy Crybaby…I mean…Happy Cancer season! I luh y’all!! ❤️

I fell in love at least four separate times last night lmao

Watching this Ecuador vs Curaçao soccer match and all I hear is a very loud ass train.

Juneteenth event yesterday

He hasn’t tweeted today what happened

Baby they was out in the streets cutting tf up for the Team Mexico win yesterday lol

Wanna piss me off? Show me you have no respect for my time. I’m a patient enough guy but there’s only so much I can excuse.

Lmaooooooooo

My whole life I was told that plagiarism is bad only to become an adult and be told it's fine now because it's A.I.

I was out from 9am to 3am yesterday. Exhausted ain’t even the word…

It’s meaty out here today.

Beyond ridiculous. And where in the hell did this other Barack Obama come from?? LOL

Oh nah, fuck that. They need to send that trigger happy shop owner to the little bodega in the sky.

There are so many moments where they should have reported Mr. Swedelson to HR on Girrlfriends

Hey California…please do not piss me off today.

This California election candidate pool has feces in it.

I’ve been watching The Boroughs….I’m not sure what I expected but it was not quite this. And I love it lol

These niggas were feeding me tequila ALL DAMN DAY. I know my liver is sick of me.

I have been late for everything today. I guess that’s what I get for being fast til 8 this morning 🫠

I feel like I am a very chill and even-tempered guy. So I hate when the very few moments I ever express frustration, I’m policed. All that does is piss me off more.

I’m not concerned that Trump falls asleep in public. I’m concerned that he wakes up.

This political race here in Cali is a fucking joke 🫤

Y’all doing these AI renderings of yourselves at the Met Gala and you all ended up in basically the same outfit lmao

The Daredevil season finale was intense 😮‍💨

These A.I. party flyers y’all be making be looking a mess.

I cannot stand a “Without me??” ass nigga. I’m bout to move on from this conversation without you, too.

Happy Monday 💛

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we just gotta start sh**ting these niggas because…

Poured me something bout to listen to this new Kehlani

Do kids want me?

He’s 37 today! 🥳

Clearly ya gurl had BIG fun yesterday because the amount of unfamiliar and unsaved numbers I have texting me…🫠

Birthday weekend off to a great start 💛 4/20♉️

And the birthday weekend begins

In my kitchen grooving to Jessie Ware’s new album as I make breakfast