Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda. Your Bretwalda offers his congratulations to the new Arch Wizard of the Christianists.

There’s pretty much always a tweet …………

#GBBO. Aaron?! That’s ridiculous!!! Tom had a better week!! Ffs.

Trump didn’t write this. It’s too coherent. Also ‘let’s release the Earhart files’ instead of releasing the Epstein files. He is a wanker.

What happens if you’ve not got a smart phone? Asking for a husband. 🫤 #digitalID

Slow Horses new season excellent so far. Roddy Ho is a ch a delicious arse!!! #SlowHorses @gatimo.bsky.social

Lovely neighbour. 92. Served in WW2. PE teacher after war. Doesn’t take any medication except a glass of red wine. For medicinal purposes you understand. 🤣🤣🤣

Anybody watch #TheHack ? It’s bloody awful. I mean the wigs alone! But it’s so up its own backside I could scream. Tell the f*****g story from A to C via B!!!! Ffs.

Hello @tomcad.bsky.social Is this a curlew or a whimbrel. I thought curlew but now am doubting myself! Beadnell north beach today.

Morning! Happy fat bear week to all who celebrate! www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/...

There you go @ambridgeponyclub.bsky.social Sponge and custard.

And employing another farm manager is hardly driving down costs!! #TheArchers

Anyone been raptured yet? Asking for a wanker.

Do they give Nobel prizes for dozy fuckwits? @nobelprize.bsky.social

But wait?! He’s white. And British?! Well colour me surprised I tell you. 😏

I am not religious. Indeed I am an atheist. But what is written here is exactly what I think minus the religion, if you see what I mean. Well said.

I stand with Ken (98) 👏👏👏

Seconded.

Thanks for all the entertainment. Rest in peace #RobertRedford

If you see this, quote the energy you bring to Bluesky

Someone wants to play!

Been to village show. Small affair. E tested knitted section but didn’t win (no surprise there. I’m a terrible knitter!). At the prize giving apart from the lady who won best baked goods all the prizes were won by two people. See what I mean? @panchaali.bsky.social 🤣 #TheArchers

So they’ve shut a local road for a fortnight which means all the traffic is going past us. Now Network Rail has turned up to deliver big machinery to the railway crossing. So it’s chaos here. No cars can move. Large machinery stuck on crossing. No one managing the traffic. 🙄.

Much worse.

Ok so we all think a highly qualified woman who knows nothing about farming but occasionally is up early enough to listen to farming today would come up with ‘what’s your favourite cow?’ 🤦‍♀️😩. #TheArchers

@panchaali.bsky.social talking if village shows, there’s this phenomena too. Giant vegetables!!!!

I’m sorry the guy got killed. But it’s America and they’re fixated with guns. Plus what are all those young people doing at a right wing rally? Do they not think for themselves anymore?

My very first spotted Richard!!!!!

If Rayner had to go so does he. And I don’t mean count binface.

I propose we all listen again to yesterday’s #TheArchers and everyone someone says 1. Charlotte Smith 2.Flower and produce we all drink a shot. Should make it more bearable if nothing else. 😏

We lost the dog’s favourite ball some time ago. Even though I’d asked oh to look under the sofa and he said it wasn’t there I found it yesterday, under the bloody sofa. Put it on the floor for the dog oh picked it up (🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ why?!) and now WE CAN’T FIND IT!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait it’s under the sofa. 🤦‍♀️

I’ve read this three times and I don’t understand it. ‘Risk of fire’. Ffs.

That's why we've launched a campaign to balance the BBC: www.libdems.org.uk/bbc

The BBC are constantly fawning over Farage's every move despite Reform only having four MPs. Our national broadcaster should reflect the whole country, not just one man’s ego.

Anyone want a good read or listen try @barristersecret.bsky.social Cut Throat Trial. 5 star review left from me! Twisty and turny it’s begging to be made into a tv show!!

One for you @scouselakes.bsky.social www.gailmyerscough.co.uk/product-page...

@barristersecret.bsky.social so. I was right in as far as I agreed with the jury. So far so good. But then…. I’ve got a bone to pick with you!! 🤣 Agatha Christie always said you always give your readers the chance to work it out. #JustSaying

I’ve just had an interesting (but rather terrifying) thought What if Boris joined re*orm? 😳

So next weeks countryfile was advertised as ‘looking for the archers’ in Worcestershire. #TheArchers. 🤷‍♀️

And tried his sanest to avoid paying inheritance tax by buying a farm. And is now complaining he’ll have to pay inheritance tax (he won’t. He’ll have put the farm in trust or something to *checks notes* avoid tax. 🙄

Just found out my friend can play chess. Then he told me who taught him The Y*rkshire R*pper. 😳

As if checking on the lad every ten days would make a difference. Ffs. He could easily have been murdered in ten days. He should’ve been out in a place of safety. End of. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Another huge own goal on government #AngelaRaynor ffs. 🤷‍♀️

This advice is from 2024. It’s been updated. cdn.who.int/media/docs/d...

@borsetshireblue.bsky.social ⬇️

Oh and I see there’s another new Russell Crowe accent on the way in #Nuremberg. Can’t wait to hear him mangle German. @exeterdormouse.bsky.social @kermodeandmayo.bsky.social

So. Where we would:- Either move George to keep him away from markie (Baltimore hospital for the criminally insane ) Or Put markie to keep him away from George? (Azkaban!) #TheArchers

Theory. Although probably a poor one All georgie’s choices from the night of the crash onward have been largely to do with his crush on fallon. #TheArchers 1/2