What button do I press on my remote to mute Tom Brady?

The Bengals are playing tonight? Maybe I can go to the movies in an empty theater.

I’d make a joke about an awkward Thanksgiving dinner, but a son will be without her mother. Punt this cunt. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/u...

These guys are spending Thanksgiving in a hospital room or a body bag because Piggy wanted to play army.

Not sure what it says about me, but I’m finding that THE HOLDOVERS is now the movie I long to watch every holiday season. Sorry, DIE HARD. We had a good run.

Think pieces about why Trump wants to invade a country are unnecessary. He’s a 5-year-old with the most awesome G.I. Joe set on the planet, and no one has let him play with it. That’s all there is to it. The end.

meanwhile blackjack is definitely right-coded because republicans love to hit anything under 21

“Holiday Creamy Coca-Cola” is neither holiday nor creamy nor Coca-Cola. Discuss.

game recognize game

when Bluesky rolls out its version of “about this account”, I’m terrified people will find out I’m really from a suburb of Cincinnati

surely, there are hours of Sean Duffy dressing like a doofus on whatever shitty reality show he spawned from

A real strongman would manage to prosecute his enemies without fucking it up

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, Charlie Brown

I’m sure I would have overlooked this if not for their recommendation. Powerful stuff, thank you ❤️

Took me a minute to figure out who the narrator is on TRAIN DREAMS : it’s Will Patton, who I remember from THE POSTMAN and THE PUNISHER, for some reason

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, Charlie Brown

In a perverted way, we have men like H. Rap Brown to thank for gun control (what’s left of it, anyway), as White lawmakers took issue with the notion that Black people should be able to defend themselves www.nytimes.com/2025/11/23/u...

A movie that takes place where you’re from

I’m going to be singing “I’m a bitch, my name’s Robert” for MONTHS #Dispatch youtu.be/F7eC86uKZY8?...

www.instagram.com/existentialc... @denim22.bsky.social

Conservatives don’t believe in government, so they participate in it to destroy it, while taking as much graft along the way as they can.

AOC on MTG retiring: "She's carefully timing her departure just 1-2 days after her pension kicks in and after making millions of dollars insider trading stocks for weapons manufacturers and others while in office."

I can’t wait to find out which country hired Alexis Wilkins to fuck Kash Patel. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/23/u...

Still waiting for someone to explain the current moment better than Alfred did

boy, Margie really is heartbroken, isn’t she?

I have never watched a podcast through my fingers…until today 😬 @pablo.show youtu.be/fxxs5P9_lyc?...

Still underperforming Fartcoin. 💩

Dennis Hastert Just Going To Assume He Welcome Back In GOP

I heard “Trump” and “executed” and got excited…until I learned it was just President Cankles tweeting from the toilet

Someone in Dispatch called Taco Bell “inauthentic Mexican calories”, and now I’ll never refer to it as anything else

Herr Plüggs trained a bot to give him material to masturbate about himself

I want to watch All Her Fault, but I’m still mourning the loss of Sarah Snook’s power bob

The most popular limited series of the year is about the assassination of a Republican president. Hmm.

The Dance of the Trad Wives

now I can’t decide whether to call him President Poop or President Piggy

Have a hankering for Twinkies after playing Dispatch. No idea why.

I have to assume Trump watched a ton of L.A. LAW in the 80s and developed a fetish for “lawyer babes”, expertise & experience be damned. Considering his spastic litigiousness, it’s probably the only place where he’s consistently exposed to female professionals. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/17/u...

“The belief that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude.” - George Orwell

Wow, “stepping back from public commitments”. 🙄 You’re a hero, Larry Summers. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/17/u...

Manslaughter is a fucking joke. Maybe they figured that’s the only charge that might stick in Indiana. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/17/u...

How does one rescue a bird trapped in an attic?

Just a plastic ring from a sizing kit for the new Oura ring, but I’m kinda feelin’ it. (Superstition ain’t the way.)

I’ve been clamoring for a one-stop shop to donate to public media outlets struggling from Republican budget cuts, and here it is. My only complaint is that there doesn’t appear to be a way to make donations recurring. www.publicmedia.co

“NBC Nightly News can show you pictures of devastating flooding…but they don’t tell locals where to get fresh water.” youtu.be/yknMJOgy2pA?...

Here’s that story on Jeff Ferrell, the hero from that piece on public media on @lastweektonight.com . (It’s CBS, but from the before-Bari-Weiss times.) youtu.be/BHpw9TPXmAw?...

Occasionally, I think good stuff comes out of my brain: www.nytimes.com/2025/11/17/o...

ffffffuuu Dispatch is so good. Can’t believe I only just heard of it. Can FOMO be retroactive?

CBS is cooked. Paramount is now FOX.

🎼 I’m forever blowing Bubbas 🎶

Gee, I wonder why this President would be diverting resources from child exploitation investigations www.nytimes.com/video/us/pol...